Blueskies

Hi Vaac, I read this thread and all of what you are fearing resonates with me so much!! Especially the ladder incident, I have had multiple similar incidents and my major trigger is dog poo. Alot of my time is spent cleaning, and thinking about what's been "contaminated" even though I'm supposed to only clean what I can actually see is dirty. I follow invisible dirt and poo around and non stop changing my top due to splashes whilst washing. Exhausted! I'm sorry you are going through this I know how hard it is for you. Just wondering if you have had any improvement?

I couldn't find Examine the Evidence anywhere online, do you have a link please?

Hi @Cheese triangle I know this is an old post but it resonates with me alot. Just wondering where you are currently with these compulsions? When my child comes home from school, he MUST wash his hands before touching anything else , and if he does touch something I immediately wipe it. My concern is that he may not wash his hands properly after using the toilet so he may have poo/wee on his hands or his clothes. He is special needs and I have had an incident in the past where he has come home with poo on his trousers. I only realised later after he rolled around the floor in the house. So as you can imagine I got into full obsessive cleaning mode and that's where my trigger started.

10-15 hours? I am so sorry that you had to endure that, but really pleased you are in a better place. I would feel anxious if I didn't do my compulsions. I know you are saying the anxiety is temporary but I just can't believe that it would be temporary for me. I do try and delay my cleaning of contaminated items in the hope that I may feel ok about it on day 4 or 5 but I ALWAYS go back to clean it.

I Googled the uv light straight after I read this! Unfortunately it has really bad effects on the user otherwise I was very ready to buy it in order to prove to myself my hands are clean after a quick wash and I don't need to go into so much detail when washing.

Thank you so much for this explanation. I get it, I really do but it's easier said than done I'm afraid. Of course I have already told myself that I overdo the washing and that maybe it's not necessary but it's like my mind doesn't want to listen to me. Yes I need to change the way I think but I just can't. I guess this is where the cbt could help and I am in the process of getting it. Is it unnecessary for me to clean under my nails though? I do this alot and I know others don't.

Yes thats a wonderful explanation! Are you a therapist or something? But how can I believe I'm clean if I am not? Surely everyone wants to be 100percent poo free?

Yes I definitely need to seek some kind of therapy because living like this isn't realistic or comfortable. What treatment have you tried?

@Ross Knight, which part was difficult? Was it because it involved doing things that you were uncomfortable with? I too would NOT be ok with that.

Thanks everyone for your replies @L.M. please can you give an example of something you have overcome because of the cbt? And what is it that motivates you? I feel like my compulsions are stronger than anything that may motivate me. @howard I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound condescending. Heck, I probably clean more surfaces than you and noone has been able to stop me doing this so far. But I do feel that when someone who has similar compulsions as me questions my compulsions, I tend to think differently, as opposed to when a regular person questions them. Because I think if the compulsive person doesn't do that , then why should I? Surely we are of the same "clean level".

@howard I'm sorry that you are going through all that with the IBS on top. Why wash the sink? It's self cleaning because of all the water we use to wash our hands @L.M. @Ross Knight no I haven't done any cbt or therapy and I'm dreading getting into it because if the exposure aspect of it. Being exposed to the things I'm avoiding horrifies me. Also I wouldn't just feel anxious by reducing washing time. I would feel that I'm still dirty. And then that would spread to things around me. @Ross Knight what therapy have you had? @Handy no I'm worried that something from inside me might not get washed properly off my hands and then spread onto my surroundings, mainly my most loved material things or comfort items like my bed, handbag, clean clothes.

Thank you for the comments guys. I didn't realize others had splashback problems too. It's so frustrating. @howard unfortunately it's during the washing under the tap too, that I experience these splashes. I don't know if it's the water pressure or my imagination. And if you want to wash your hands properly you need to scrub up and down, scrubbing downwards only to avoid the splashes just wouldn't cut it for me

I have really bad contamination ocd. But the part that's most troublesome is when I'm washing my hands after a number 2. When I'm soaping up, I imagine soap splashing back on me. I don't know how real it is. It's almost never visible. I end up washing upto my arm or worse, changing my top that I thought I got a splash on. But what are the chances of poo being in those splashbacks? Iv tried ignoring it, but then I cave in and clean everything that I came in contact with, with my "contaminated" arm or top. Yes I get the ick with anything related to bodily fluids.