Norma42

Just not getting better

Had my first NOCD appointment today. Let’s see how this goes

Thank you. I needed to hear that.

Although OCD is tricky so the last intrusive thought I got was “ get a feeling”. I’m terms of abuse what would that even be considered?

Have you had a similar situation with your child?

Good to know that especially questioning if I did it on purpose after an intrusive thought. It may have been coming either way

I do know I was worried about NOT getting a feeling. So then of course OCD intrusive thought says “get a feeling”. I guess just maybe realizing the fact that the thought itself could give me a groinal response is a relief. I so appreciate y’all responding to me

But if I did that makes me some kind of sicko

My mind can’t figure out if I did it on purpose

I can’t get out of my head I did something sexual toward my baby. I had completely let this go and here it is destroying me!!!

So I have always had OCD. But when I had my daughter it turned to being about her. Wondering if I wiped her inappropriately and things like that. I was also worried about getting Groinal responses around her. I never really did until I was holding her while she was laying on me sleeping. Sweet tiny little baby. And mind mind was in over drive not to get a Groinal response. I didn’t feel any attraction just terrified of getting a “feeling” . Well then I got an intrusive thought like”just get a feeling” and I got a Groinal response! I was horrified. It did not feel pleasurable just an awareness. Well then I thought I did it on purpose. I felt so guilty like I did something sexual to my baby. I ended up being committed for a week because I couldn’t handle that thought. Eventually I realized was the ugly ocd and was fine. Well 11 years later and that time comes in my head and I’m obsessed and guilty all over really depressed as if I’ve done something for getting a feeling. I don’t know if I let myself get the feeling or not!