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I don't know what she specializes in. I think I'll just go for it. I haven't told anyone about the worse intrusive thoughts that I have. Wish me luck!

Thank you for your reply. Yes I must have picked up on my mom cleaning and washing her hands alot

Just thought of this but, what if for me a good day is me successfully keeping things clean, including myself throughout the day? I always consider days where I don't keep up with keeping things I use clean not so good but at the same time it's like a break? It's so confusing...My brain considers clean=good and not so clean=bad

Don't worry JackieAM. This forum is full of people that deal with OCD daily. You are not alone.

We got this JackieAM!! You can do it and so can I. I'm sure we will manage. When you think about it, therapists aren't there to judge you, but to listen to you and help you. I hope everything goes well for you!

[ Mention of SA and Pedophilia ] So, recently I have started seeing a therapist. She has helped me so far and in our next session we are going to talk about my OCD and compulsions. I'm really excited to talk about it because it means I'll get answers as to why I do certain things which I think is itself an OCD thing (wanting answers and reassurance). One thing I'm afraid to bring up is my intrusive thoughts. They have tortured me so much over the summer. So much like never before. I was seeking reassurance. 'Confessing' to random people online, reading OCD symptoms over and over again to make sure those are the symptoms I'm having and searching online to see if I can find people who have went through things similar to what I have. It was hell. I don't know why in particular it got so bad in summer but I'm guessing it's because I had nothing to do so my brain decided to start throwing intrusive thoughts left and right. Anyway. I'm afraid to bring these up. Because these intrusive thoughts are awful. I kept stressing out so much because OCD kept making me feel like i was a Pedophile, an abuser, fearing that I may SA someone without knowing or realizing. It's the worst. How do I talk about these things? I really want to help myself because I can't stand the feeling at the pit of my stomach when I'm having these horrible intrusive thoughts. It is one of the worst feelings. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hello again. I spend a lot of time thinking about my OCD. A lot of the time I want to get clean and get into a clean bed but sometimes I just can't get myself to do those things even though I really want to. It's weird. I wish I could turn off OCD. It's so tiring mentally and physically at times. To think, in the past I thought I wasn't the type of person to be worried over everything I touch and worrying about germs. I wish I were a kid again. When I was a kid I didn't feel so much stress whenever I touched a doorknob I didn't like or when my shirt accidentally brushed against the wall outside my home making me want to change. How old do you have to be to get meds? It's just so tiring...I don't know. All I know is that it didn't use to be like this.

Thanks for replying. I have a good idea as to why OCD symptoms started to show up more and I find myself missing the days where I didn't have to worry if I'll be able to clean my phone on time. It's hard. But hopefully therapy helps, it already has helped!

You will be fine for sure. Things like this happen to people all over the world, even me! Your immune system is stronger than you think. I hope you are feeling better now Ashley. Take care.

A lot of the time I struggle with keeping myself clean, worrying if the air is clean and worrying if I washed my hands well enough but sometimes I just completely ignore all of that. It's like most of OCD is gone for the day and I don't wash and clean things as much as I did. There is still a voice at the back of my head that is reminding me that whatever I'm touching at the moment is dirty and has germs in it but it's easy to ignore it, unlike my usual days where my hands/arms feel physically unclean and feel like they're being stung lightly. It's so weird but its a relief to have at least SOME peace. It doesn't last long which is unfortunate. I'm also really curious as to why until the summer that just passed my OCD wasn't this bad? How did it get worse? That's all.

Hi and thank you for replying. I do feel much better and as of now i am seeing a therapist and hopefully i can learn some ways to deal with my OCD. I hope i can finally have some peace of mind because it can be exhausting to live with OCD. I have not washed my sheets or changed them and I'm trying hard not to give in. Thank you again Sara!

Thanks for your reply.

Hello. This is my first post here. As far as I'm aware I've been struggling with OCD for quite a while. My Mom walked into my room while I was asleep but she woke me up before she walked in so I just kept my eyes closed and She opened the door and I dont know if she opened it by the handle or side of the door or if she pushed it open and its really bothering me because she took my blanket and put it over me and i also heard her turn the light switch on so that means she touched the door, the switch and then my blanket and now that blanket touched me and i cant stand this. i feel like i have to change my bedsheets and pillowcases and blanket again tomorrow and i cant, its barely been a week since i changed them but i seriously cant stand this feeling, my hands and arms feel like theyre being stung very lightly because i dont feel clean and im freaking out so much and i cant do anything because its the middle of the night. any way i can overcome this freakout?