Angelina K.

Hello, Tomorrow I am finally going back home to my family after 3 months or so of being away due to attending university here in the UK. Though I was super excited and happy about it at first, the closer the time comes, the more anxious I become? When I was younger I was never anxious about airplane trip, but the older I became the more anxiety I would feel whenever I had an upcoming airplane trip. Yet the anxiety was not really focused on the airplane trip itself but projected into other OCD themes. This time, it's quite solidly on the airplane trip. It keeps trying to twist some magical thinking into it by going 'oh you feel anxious about it could be a premonition' or something when, in reality, I'm not really a superstitious person (meaning I know this doesn't mean a thing but somehow it still gets me to feel anxious and worry). Do you have any advice in how to deal with these types of thoughts? Edit: even writing this here was a sort of almost exposure, Idk why I got nervous even writing it out. My thoughts going 'writing it out/saying it out is like confirming it,' etc. Damn OCD...

Hotel

Belligerent

Thank you so much for your response @RoseQuartz . I've calmed down more now, and looking back, do realize it was rather ridiculous of me to worry over it... And considering it has now ended haha. I think OCD started kicking again due to, probably, some upcoming stressful things or such. I will try to continue to practice CBT/ERP and try not to fall into another reassurance-seeking trap. Again, thank you! I really do appreciate it

I was doing rather well with health OCD with CBT and all, but, today, I randomly spiralled again... Well, basically I got worried and obsessed over my periods. I was late this month and it did not come right away but with very small drizzling almost. And now it's been over a week and, though not a heavy amount and very little, I'm still getting my periods. In the end, I couldn't resist it and I fell into the temptation of googling and that put me more in an uneasy state. My mind is making up all kinds of worst case scenario narrative: 'what if it's not even your period anymore but bleeding from the organs indicating a serious disease?' I tell myself that can't be and that irregular period like this is natural as I'm only 18... But still... I could go to the gynaecologist or GP but, for health OCD, I've been trying not to to not abuse that as a method of reassurance too much (also I do not want to be marked as a hypochondriac in fear they wouldn't treat me seriously). It's true also that in nearly 2 weeks or so I will be flying back to my home country. So I'm less compelled to go to the doctor here if I can go at home... but I'm not sure, is this really serious?

starfish

foam

Seahorse

Typewriter

Thank you to you both @Cam81 and @PennyLane73. It's always nice to know that this is not an 'outlier' experience but one felt/shared among all those who struggle with OCD TT And thank you for your kind words, just trying to go on with my day and focusing on my homework, talking with people, etc. helped me pull myself out from further engaging with that brief OCD relapse.

Hello, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. I also apologise for a very late reply (so maybe you don't need these info anymore but just in case...) but I thought the information might still be somewhat helpful. I am also currently living in Edinburgh and am seeing a private therapist here for CBT. It is expensive but, at least for me, it has been super helpful. Here are two places you might find helpful/be interested in: https://www.craigiepartnership.co.uk/edinburgh-psychology-services https://www.edinburghtherapy.co.uk/ I hope this is somewhat helpful. Good luck and remember you're not alone!

Hello, So, I've been doing rather well for the last few days. CBT has definitely helped a lot in keeping my reaction to my intrusive thoughts at a minimal (or at least to keep it at a very manageable level). However, today, I kind of messed up out of the blues. I was just having a conversation with my friend and the subject we talked about could have brushed close to whatever OCD theme happened to be slightly haunting me these days. I was fine, at first, and wasn't even thinking about my OCD or the fact that this could trigger my theme, but I randomly got a thought along with a 'impulse/longing' feeling that suddenly freaked me out? I am familiar with this feeling and know that it's OCD related. However, what kind of threw me off was how almost 'naturally' the thought occurred? My undoing was that I, after that, started to doubt whether the nature of the thought itself was an intrusive thought or a natural/conscious thought. And the moment I started doubting this/trying to find answer to this is when I spiralled and started feeling uncomfortable and uneasy overall. I suppose I answer my own wonderings with that, but I am still gripped strongly by a desire or discomfort of doubt that goes 'how do I know if this was a natural thought and thus proving that it wasn't OCD/is real or if it really was an OCD thought?' Sometimes it's hard to shake these thoughts and feelings off... I try to think of it, however, as OCD desperately trying to stay alive against CBT and thus coming up with more sneakier ways to disguise itself when penetrating my mind.

Hello, I hope you are all doing well. I've recently started (or more 1 or 2 months ago) doing CBT and ERP to be more specific. I think it has been super helpful as now I feel like I am able to deal with some of my thoughts more bravely as well as not react as strongly as I used to when I get those thoughts. However, every now and again, I would get a random wave of anxiety or panic that would completely throw me off and this would be, of course, usually, accompanied with one of the OCD themes thoughts. And this persists despite ERP, and sometimes I get a bit worried or scared 'what if I can never overcome these emotion based triggers?' and 'what if then that means these thoughts are for real and not OCD?' (Which I know reeks of OCD-esque thoughts but somehow I still doubt and get frightened). It's hard to explain but these emotion-based triggers would seemingly come out of nowhere. I could have made peace with a certain theme for the moment, and, out of the blues while I was super distracted, I would randomly be hit with a surge of panic like anxiety accompanied with that 'theme's thought' and it would feel super convincing and feel as if I went back to base 0. In a way CBT has helped me deal with the usual thoughts better but, I guess it's OCD trying to fight back, it has also called forth more brutal and cunning turns from OCD. I guess I'm just wondering how can I deal with this? I'm afraid I may be failing or something... Also, I wanted to thank you all for having helped me out in the past. The help is really much appreciated and I hope you all a great day

Hello, Recently I thought my Health themed OCD got better but instead it started latching onto another part of my body... I started feeling a pressing like sensation upon the upper left side of my stomach and seeing that it did not go away after a week or so, my mind started spinning tales. This became a lot more severe especially after accidentally stumbling upon a random comment upon a video on youtube regarding how this person's sister passed away at 18 from liver cancer. My OCD immediately linked 'oh you're 18 and you were having some weird sensations on your stomach lately.' and I started panicking hard. I eventually made a GP appointment and came back. Yet, somehow, it got worse. The GP pressed around my stomach and said she didn't find any lump or mass and thus feels fine. Yet, just in case, she gave me a urine test. And also asked me previously if I was urinating more frequently by any chance. I answered no. For some reason, after doing this test, I feel very hypersensitive about my bladder. I keep feeling like I have to go even right after I do urinate. And this started bugging me a lot because it was suddenly so constant? Like just yesterday I was fine. And through the whole day today I kept feeling like I needed to go urinate no matter how many times I went to the bathroom. And most of the time urine did come quite a lot. I started panicking: 'what if this is a new symptom that just developed and me having said no to my GP changed the whole course of how she would have evaluated me completely? What if this is really something serious? What if I'm dying?' I tried to calm myself down by rationalizing: telling myself 'well, today I did decide to start drinking a lot more water than usual' (because I have a bad habit of not drinking enough water). But somehow that doesn't cut it and I keep feeling anxious about it which leads me to google. And that also makes things worse... I am on the fence about whether I should call my GP again and make another appointment. Yet the problem is I am going on a trip tomorrow morning and won't be back till Thursday. Then I am going on another trip on Friday and won't be back on Monday. This makes me feel even more desperate and anxious (such as 'what if it develops and becomes even worse?'). Should I really be worried about this or is this my OCD playing tricks on me?? I can't tell and it's really hard to not freak out over it...

Thank you for your response! I will definitely talk about it in therapy during my next session.