Phil18

It was more just a chat about what’s on my mind. I never really got into any solutions. But no more planned yet as it’s over £50 a time.

I can’t see much option but a driveway or to move. I am also obsessed about new windows either a new house or doing mind but all these jobs are costly and moving would be too. I Simply cant content myself with these windows or slabs. I hear other people getting new windows and that annoys me. I have felt an urge to go into my savings and spent alot and be even worse off.

Moving house wasn’t an option I looked at an open plan place and I use a tumble dryer and cook a lot so I was able to see past the rush to move. I realise I can’t take rash choices.

Yes the new slab was a disaster but I feel the one from the back does blend better. And keeping the damaged one wasn’t a good choice for me so it’s about trying to accept the back one is better than alternatives I think I spent £300 in total ripping up slabs twice now getting gardners out so can’t keep that up. Pic below is the new slab I ripped back up as it looked odd. and below is me fixing it with one from back

Thanks glad people don’t notice when it’s wet I feel happy it looks exact and also from a front view people probably don’t see it. I feel when I step out my door I notice it most maybe it will blend or with some mud. I booked a few gigs and got off idea of moving lately. I am trying to get on with life but it’s hard the slab thing has been nagging me for over a month. Even if I kept the original it was damaged. The brand new one stood out so I think this slab is the best I can do. But it’s trying to resist a 3 grand drive way or rush to move house to escape the ocd .

This is my slab now. Not 100% perfect but one from my back garden. Better than a new stand out slab still I have the urge to spend 3 grand on a drive way? Maybe people wouldn’t notice the slab much? When slab is wet it’s an exact match. When I step outside it annoys me more but when I walk I to the house it looks more blended

So I took a break from posting for around a few months. However I continue to see people busy doing stuff so a few days ago I decided I would post. I have neither been able to continue to post or stop posting. Decided the odd post. I know I can go full Facebook delete but then few people would contact me so can’t win. But at same time I want to show I’m busy getting on with life and not waiting for invites but I also want a private life? How do I strike the correct balance?

I am going to explain to her this so say I move? Is it for ocd? More ocd willl happen ay new house No Say space wise. I went out and seen two houses one is good location but don’t like open plan. Some have less storage space. Or i went and seen a 3 bed house I couldn’t fit my current sofa in as all space was in kitchen. I can’t seem to find much that works. Current place works. Maybe less storage would work but I have been on a journey and learned I hate open plan and want to fit my sofa in. OCD wise any move will make me replace good items. Any germs issue im spending hundreds of pounds. It gives me relief to replace. And I have issues cancelling jobs getting done. If I got a driveway and they mess communal slabs I spend 3 grand for little satisfaction. The original advice was to keep slab. I have since spent atleast £500 now not £3 grand but still a lot new drawers tv boxes and dvd players. All for relief from my ocd. Maybe therapy won’t change much but find it helps to talk. This week I’ve gone off the idea of moving for the ideas above. Maybe I will try again but any move brings stress.

I got cold feet on the house. So I got the photographer out for nothing. She out that toilet paper on my drawers so I have just spent about £400 on new drawers Blu ray player and sky box reason is the toilet paper hit the sky box and drawer. I decided to wash all clothes inside too. Sadly same issue with slab. I replaced the new one with a weathered one. I wasn't 100% happy but so far not got the drive or another house. Tbh I doubt therapy will change much and i will just be a few hundred pounds down the drain.

I decided to get therapy have a session next week. It’s one I spoke to last year. Anyway the slab it started with a scratch I decided to try and scrub it and it took off the weathering. I actually remember this happened in my back and also at my last flat. It was my back so never annoyed me. The front door scratching on the path only came from doing laminate floor work and garden tidy. But it was always a scratch never bothered me maybe they can work round back next time? Removing the slab has made things worse. Any new house will have ocd and make me want to move but I realise there’s bigger issues. I had looked at houses pre the ocd about the slab. I might replace stuff again if i did move as people won’t understand my ocd. But maybe the therapy can offer some way to “live with” what’s there in the garden right now before I rush out and spend 3 grand on a drive?

Yes perhaps that’s correct. If the driveway was £200 it wouldn’t matter but 3 thousand then I could turn round and say I don’t like it. The issue is it’s alot of money. But I want new windows ect in my current house and I don’t get a drive the house wont suit as the slabs dont match. I have looked up a few therapists on zoom but not agreed any yet. I think all my energy has gone into houses. Also there’s £17 thousand between semi and fully detached so I realised going with it just for the sake of a move isn’t the answer when say the other house has that kitchen door. I accept I will have ocd again the slabs may get scratched moving in. And the good news is there’s no semi detached ones for sale so I can take a bit of time to think over. I totally accept I shouldn’t make any rash choices. Any decision to move would be very hard. If I can say not change my mind next time that will help. I have hated open plan for years. But yes I think keeping those savings is better until I can asses what’s the best way to go forward. If I went for semi detached and still never wanted to go ahead at that stage I am going to quit trying to move.

And sadly my urge is to get new drawers and sky boxes ect as the photographer placed some toilet papers from my bathroom on those drawers. I believe the toilet paper had germs from poo on them as it’s sat on toilet and nobody washed there hands

So I got the house photos done they put toilet paper on my bedroom drawers and moved a bin more ocd. Anyway I went and put an offer in on a house and now having doubts as it’s open plan kitchen. So food smells/grease/tumble dryer noise. At first I thought no issues but my mind over thinks. Maybe these are not an issue but I do eat lots of greasy food and use a dryer non stop. I like the house extra space but the usual doubt creeps in. I tried to buy a new driveway 2/3 times in past few weeks and also cancelled. Seems the initial idea is good until I think about the disruption to my existing life. The last house I went cool on as it couldn’t fit my sofa in it So what next? Can’t keep offering for houses and driveways and doing nothing. I feel I have no real plan. Maybe try before I buy is appealing. Very few houses meet my needs and now this one I am in is as I dislike the slabs ect. I seem puzzled on what to do next.

I think you are right. I mean I got photos done on this house today and they moved my bins put toilet paper on my drawers which drives me mad due to poop germs but I had to go through that discomfort. Anybody who views my house will touch things too. My urge is to replace the drawers anyway. I mean any sort of move won’t be good for my ocd but if I want that move I have to deal with the discomfort.

Yes that’s exactly it. I need to make a choice as me and my wife are chatting about this daily. Either I improve this house or move as the move thing has been brewing since November maybe longer. I want a newer house where I don’t need new windows ect problem is we like here and none of the window companies followed up my emails. I have someone coming to take pics of house to market this place. Problem is I am very fussy about other houses prices and decor and location. This goes further than a slab but obviously I spent cash on the slab already £300 so I can’t keep putting money and decide I want to move as this house is small and want newer. It’s kind of in my head daily I feel I need to make some sort of choice. Fix the garden or move as I want to move anyway? Maybe the ocd is making me indecisive and never know what I want? I wish someone could make sense of it for Me I want a larger house and newer so I don’t need to do big jobs. I don’t want to put new windows kitchen in this house. But I have had chances buy lovely homes but got cold feet? Is it ocd maybe anxiety?