I feel for your son and you and your family.
My son 34 sounds like your son. We had so much damage in the home.
My son 34 has long showers.
He said the utter devastation in his brain change was unimaginable. OCD literally invaded his life. All his dreams in the sewer because of OCD plus social anxiety.
He has also screamed dreadful stuff on a par with your son and worse. My son says all the overload in his head spills over.
My son sabatouges himself because he considers himself a waste of space a failure. Plus drug taking has been a huge issue. His drugs are to feel normal not to get a high.
He is very opinionated and says with his angry outbursts he will smash anything close by tv door window etc because he says his brain is going to literally burst and the outburst of anger cuts that feeling in his brain.
He has never sought help except to keep me quiet. When he has gone the few times he has he says the therapist is talking and his ocd brain is talking and he can never just listen.
OCD Ashley said that a proper OCD specialist would be better as they know how to understand rather than any therapist we think they understand!
My son has lost all his friends and he avoids his family.
He sees me and he has a girlfriend now and looking back I struggle to see what we could have done differently except really early on get on board with understanding ocd which 95% if not more dont.
I am on an app that covers many topics
Reddit
r/ocdreddit is very useful for asking from people with ocd.
I am very upfront with my son ocd thoughts and as he says his brain is not his own.
This last 6 months he has come off drugs and is trying to help himself more. I have consistently over the years not judged him, including drugs and have some boundaries. I accept his long showers etc but also don't pander and I don't reassure.
I was getting worn out but decided to not worry. He threatens suicide. The last time he did. I said calmly that's your choice not mine. I would be very upset but my life would carry on.
Make sure you care for yourself and know that its an extract horrendous disorder to have but detach to keep your sanity.
My son went to prison 3 times and that did him no favours.
Obviously with his Prevent etc behaviour I can't suggest anything because we are all different.
Know on as many doors as possible to try and get people to help.
OCD UK is a godsend at times
I wish you all well.
