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Daps231

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    4
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Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Living with OCD

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    London
  1. @Handy thank you so much. I didn't know. I will check it out.
  2. @PolarBear Thanks for the advice Polar Bear. You are absolutely right. I am reading Break Free from OCD' at the moment. The problem is that I have had the book for around 2 years but have never got past page 100. But now I'm determined to put my OCD before work and other distractions. I'm going to read 30 mins each day and see how I feel by the end of the book. Thanks for reading mate Dan
  3. @Annie x Hi Annie. Thanks for reading. Yes well done to you for joining and posting. The only person I have spoken to about my thoughts are my wife and psychologists in the past. I have never spoken to other sufferers. I always thought if people knew my worries they would laugh or think I was crazy. But you are right, I feel better for posting. Good luck in your journey, I am sure both of us will look back at this time and think it was a life changing decision to join this group, even though it feels difficult. My problem has always been that I have a demanding job and have prioritised work over conquering my OCD. But now I have decided to spend time everyday to focus on conquering this. Take care of yourself too. I will look out for your posts x
  4. Hi All. My first time posting an a forum like this. Sorry for long post.I'm sure future posts wont be as long as this one. Its comforting to read and see such a supportive network here. Feels odd to write my thoughts down but at the same time kind of good. I Have had OCD for about 21 years. However I have pretty much been happy In life and have rarely been depressed. I have learned to accept it and still be happy, without really confronting it. However over the last 5 months I have sunk into a deep depression , fearing Asbestos is in my house. We bought our house three years ago and had some work done in our loft. The workmen saw that there was some vermiculite in the loft flooring and let us know that it should be tested as there is a small chance it can contain Asbestos in it. They sent it off for tests which took a few weeks. In the meantime I started reading up about the dangers or Asbestos and that it can cause Cancer and I really started to panic. The good news is that the tests came back negative for Asbestos. This reassured me for a while. But then I started to worry that maybe they missed some Asbestos in the loft when they checked. I also worried that perhaps the vermiculite they tested didn't have Asbestos but there are other types of vermiculite in The loft that does have Asbestos and they missed it. Everytime I went into the loft I washed my hands twice and I only went into the loft when it was essential. This year my worries really intensified to the point I felt I was in a full state of depression for the first time in 10 years About five months ago we had a guest in our spare room. He has an electric shaver and he charged it on the floor on top of the box it came in but almost directly under the loft hatch. Even though the loft hatch is a couple of meters above where the electric shaver was charging, I became obsessed that the electric shaver could have cut into the loft hatch somehow. I then started to inspect the loft hatch and noticed there is a line on one of the corners. Although it looks like a drawn line on the hatch rather than a crack and my wife also says it is a drawn line I became obsessed that this is a crack and that myself and my family are breathing in Asbestos every night as our bedrooms are on the top floor. For the past 5 months I have felt massive guilt and at times been unmotivated to even get out of bed. A few days ago in my head something worse happened. I am also a bit worried about hoovers and that they can cause damage. Usually when I go into the loft, after I have finished I do a thorough check to make sure the loft hatch is closed properly (Worry that if it is not closed properly we could breath in Asbestos). This thorough check takes about three minutes and involves me studying every part of the loft hatch making sure it is shut. The other day my wife was hoovering upstairs. I worry sometimes that the hoover can do damage to the loft hatch if it is directly under it, so before I checked the loft hatch I moved the hoover downstairs and made sure it was switched off and unplugged. I then went upstairs and did my thorough checks of the loft hatch to make sure it was shut which took 3 mins. After I did it I realised that I didn't check that all of the hoover attachments were also downstairs. I started to worry that some of the hoover parts were in the room next to the loft hatch and I didn't see them. I started to worry that while I was doing my thorough checks of the loft hatch, the hoover attachments, although not plugged in to the hoover could somehow still be providing suction and damage the loft hatch while I was studying it for three mins. Although there is no visible damage to the loft hatch, I have noticed that around it there are tiny cracks in the ceiling. I'm worried the hoover attachments have caused further cracks and therefore we are all in danger of breathing in Asbestos. My home office is in a room next to the loft hatch and I worry I am always breathing in Asbestos. I work in the office all day. The past week I have been panicking. I have worked through the week but have been really depressed and unmotivated this week. I have been feeling guilty that I have caused harm to my wife and child because my thourough OCD checks have inadvertently caused damage to the loft hatch. Everything I have a small moment of being happy I think about the above and then feel down and depressed about it. At the moment I cannot see a way I will feel better in the future. I read my OCD book to see if it helps but so far this week it has not. Thank you to anyone who has read this. Dan
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