mx_dicaprio260298

Thanks, I'm not very good at therapy. I have even been sent the webinar of adapting CBT for autistic people.

My OCD affects me in a very similar way that it affected the great filmmaker and pilot Howard Hughes. I have even learnt Leo DiCaprio himself also had OCD which is awesome! Martin Scorsese's The Aviator (2004) is so relatable as someone who lives with OCD. Anyone else seen this movie and found it relatable?

I'm new to this forum and will probably have a cause for concern because of the content of this post, but all I am asking for is some reassurance I am not alone as this type of OCD does exist. I am also autistic and made a similar post on an autism forum and got a cause for concern, although the moderators for this forum haven't gotten back to me. Lately, my intrusive thoughts have gotten very extreme since the beginning of this year because I also have a misdiagnosis of PTSD from ABA-based tactics from school and college (I also had a school bully who was sexually driven and paedophilic who was excused) by teachers forcing me to grow up by making me a "woman" for having periods, constantly getting the s*x talk and having our toys taken away. I feel these thoughts are a backlash and possibly my inner child screaming for help. I work in a museum and when I have to miss leisure activities either with my autism social group or anywhere else because of work, I end up venting and it makes me sad then the other person says I am an adult and have to work, then that triggers those memories, so I get more frustrated. When I see families happy and having fun, it makes me really jealous and this triggers my extreme intrusive thoughts of sexually assaulting children and mothers. I am not safe around children with these thoughts but also it is an assault on my sensory issues as an autistic person when young children are screaming or being vocal. I have even had parents of young children vocally abuse me in public because of autistic behaviours (which has also altered my brain chemistry as a museum worker). I also get triggered when I am misgendered (I use they/them pronouns) and when parents do it, I have very strong urges to act on these thoughts. I am terrified for my life and career as I could get into serious trouble. I called the crisis line and they booked me a psychiatric appointment. I even thought about being signed off by a GP then resigning, but my boss has advised against this as it would be abusing the system if I was to do so. I am embarrassed to admit to my boss that I am having these thoughts and dare not tell anyone unless they are close to me and trusted. I possibly will get a cause for concern about this post but like I said, I just want some reassurance I am not alone and my feelings are valid; even though deep down I wouldn't act on these thoughts at the end of the day.