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Bulletin Board User
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About Stella

  • Birthday 24/06/1972

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD

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  • Gender
  • Location
    North West
  • Interests
    Piano, violin, singing, hill walking
  1. Hi Red They are so security conscious is primary schools nowadays - I'm sure anyone would be challenged well before they got as far as a classroom. My son starts school too and I'm really worried because of cleansliness (maybe not spelt like that!)- he'lll be everywhere and filthy, playing in mud and not washing has hands and I there's nothing i can do about it . The good thing is I know it'll be good for him and I want him to be a normal boy and so I know it's the right thing to do. As long as you know it's the right thing to do, then you're protecting to the best of your ability. Your daughter will gain so much from school that it's the right thing to do. It's safer than to have her at home and then not having the experience of interacting with her peers in that way. That's what I tell myself anyway! Stella xx
  2. Hi Harri I'm too scared to get my pregnancy confirmed yet because my doctor refused to confirm it before 6 weeks last time and I got extremely upset whilst I was there - I struggle to even get into the surgery now. My midwife is fab - she spoke to me when I miscarried and is really supportive, so I maybe should take a sample in and get it confirmed. The last two times I saw my doc I started bleeding within hours and I'm scared it was the stress of it, which is another reason I'm scared to go. I do need to relax and i need to concentrate on Dylan too, or I'm neglecting him for my OCD googling and ruminating. There's nnothing I can do about it even if I have harmed it. i guess I'll go into overdrive to make up for it, which won't be good for Dylan. How's your oCD affecting your preg? love Stella xx
  3. Thanks very much! I have a CPN/Occupational therapist who is excellent and i do talk to her - i'm seeing her in the morning. The trouble is I know i have oCD but I can't convince myself this fear is part of the OCD. Today i've emailed Defra and tomorrow i'll probably end up ringing them. They'll think I'm daft but that's fine :blushing: I'm ringing them because I need them to tell me that the concentraions of lead won't be enough to raise my blood level - that after a month it will have gone away enough. ALl I can think is it's been recirculating around my Gran's house. I've been trying to figure out how to change her vacuum to a hepa filter so i can still go and see her. I've even enquired to see if it can be done. I know what i'm doing is OCD but I think the original fear is real. Does the fear sound like OCD or does it sound real? If defra can tell me it's totally out of perspective then i will try and go to see my Granny - otherwise I don't think i'm able too - I'm just too scared. thanks again Stella xx
  4. I've got a child who's 4 and I am pregnant again - I'm on quetiapine and fluoxetine - doc said best to stay on. I was on venlafaxine but was changed because fluoxetine is the one recommended in pregnancy. My psychiatrist and cpn are both supportive of me having another child, though my GP thinks it's a very bad idea. With Dylan it did make my ocd worse, but it's worth it! I ended up in hospital - I wasn't on medication when I was preg with him though and eventually went onto sertraline whilst breastfeeding but I ended up in hospital. I am told I had psychotic depression too so I don't know what was more - the depression or the ocd - one probably influenced the other. If it's something you really want in my opinion go for it and plan for it - I'm having to work very hard at the moment not to go off the rails, but I'm doing everything I can. Don't let anyone negative put you off. It's yours and your partner's decision (at least I think it is) - not the medical professions - I don't think they can say you can't - human rights etc. There's nothing to say your OCD won't improve with the distraction either I don't think, but I may be wrong again - depends what your fears are maybe? Mine are contamination. Stella
  5. Thank you so much for the replies and the congratulations! Congratulations to you too Harri and Carol :hug:! I've never tried reflexology but if I stopped buying pregnancy tests and used the money for that i'm sure it would help! I'm doing what you did Red - I'm going shopping later and have to promise myself not to buy any more. I've done 5 tests so far - I'm worrying that they don't seem to be getting any stronger positive then they were a few days ago. I've been sick this morning, so that could either be a good sign or due to stress. I've miscarried 3 times now and I'm sure it's because I get so stressed. This time I'm trying to believe my fears are OCD even though they feel real and not engage with them. I just have to hope they aren't real because there's nothing I can do now if they are.I don't want to wreck another pregnancy and i am so frightened I've harmed it at my Granny's house - that my lead levels are now raised and that I'm going to harm the development of this child. :crybaby: I'm only 5 weeks at the moment so I hope I can get it into better perspective! 6 months is fab for your daughter Carol - I'm really glad she can start to relax now! 9 weeks is brill too - nearly throught the hardest bit. Are you having morning sickness? I didn't last time so I'm hoping that's what it is and it's good! thanks again love Stellaxx
  6. Yes - I've fallen out with my father, and my mum and him say it was ocd, when it wasn't. Anything that goes against their way of thinking is ocd. Ok, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Trouble is that i can't tell when it is and when it's not. He was smoking in the garden when my son was out playing in it. Dylan was out there first - he went out and lit up. It must be 'ocd' because he's in the fresh air...polluting it. My hubby says some things are when they aren't too and it is very frustrating - like giving my son omega 3, which is widely accepted practise and considered 'normal'. It can be used to label anything which someone else differs in their point of view in Stella
  7. I guess mine has taught me a lot about mental health problems, coping menchanisms and mental health services, plus the psychology I've done has taught me alot about reasoning etc. Unfortunately it has taught me not to trust my own judgement
  8. I think it's hard to group anything into a 'condition'. People with OCD have loads of other traits and disorders. I have a friend with schizoaffective disorder who also has OCD. She's not weird- she's lovely, really sound. It depends whether you see the person or the 'illness'. It's awful when people treat you differently because of the 'illness'. I found my doctor doing it recently and it was very distressing - I don't think she was doing it on purpose. I got bullied out of a job by people saying I was weird and odd. Yes - that really does get on my nerves. Are you finding you're being treated really differently by someone now they know? Stella
  9. I'm pregnant again - last time i miscarried. What I'm worried about this time is that I went into an airport and couldn't get away from the smoke from people smoking right by the exits. I tried not to breathe and I nearly passed out! Anyway, I did the dreaded thing of googling :blushing: and now I'm scared because smoking raises your blood lead level by 20% (think tha's assuming you are a 20 a day regular smoker). I'm reckoning I was in there for over half an hour and am thinking if i had the equivalent passive smoking to 1 cigarette, then I have raised my level by 1%. In addition, i was at my Grans who has had work done on her old house recently (still unfinished) and she does not have a hepa vacuum. Her cleaners had been only an hour before I got there and i'm frightened there was lead in the air that had come out of the filter in the vacuum or from the dusting, that I've breathed it in and that it may harm the development of this unborn child. I'm telling myself that not many people would be that worried about the lead in the house when vacuuming if work wasn't actually being carried out then, or about passive smoking unavoidably for half an hour, hopefully less. I'm telling myself it's ocd. Thing is, I just can't believe it's not a real problem. I really want to believe it's ocd. How can I do that? I know I sometimes have a problem with excessive worrying about chemicals and I'm telling myself I'd be finding some other thing to focus on and worry about if not (last time it was alcohol). I think I caused my last miscarriage by being so incredibly stressed and i need not to be like that this time. I'm telling myself not to engage with it - it's just still there eating away at me - that I've potentially damaged this poor unborn child. Please help :crybaby: Stella
  10. It does sound like it could be a discontinuation syndrome (in my non-medical opinion!) - the things they can cause to happen are mindboggling. They do right themselves but just take a bit of time. I struggled with venlafaxine and it took ages to get off it but the first two weeks off totally were the worst. It can go on for a few months but I think that's rarer. If it's not manageable they can put you back on a low dose but then you've still got the problem of having to get off it somehow. I changed from sertraline to prozac and was ok with that switch but I think everyone reacts differently. I agree though that you should go and explain to the doctor. I always write everything down because once i get in there my brain does not function! HOpe you feel better soon Stella
  11. Hi lio-ed There are good and bad things with the anti-psychotic. It is a sedative and makes everything seem more of a chore, but it does take the edge off the OCD, definitely. It helps me sleep too, but makes my stomach very sluggish so I end up on lots of things to speed up my digestion and in that way it's quite unpleasant. I don't know if GPs prescribe them or if you have to be referred to a psychiatrist. I got put on it in hospital. I want to be off it and would say it's better not to be sedated if at all possible. I feel it covers over the problem in some ways rather than deals with it - you are too tired to do all your routines etc, although it has helped with lessening the need to do some of them too, so it's a double edged sword. My psychiatrist said it was a turning point for me, but I'm not sure it wasn't the exposure I was forced to do by being in hospital with a baby. I took 150mg venlafaxine in morning and 150mg at night - I could tell if I'd forgotten it within a few hours because of the discontinuation syndrome (not withdrawal as I said earlier because it's not addictive), so I would say 300mg would be better for that reason - keeping the blood level more steady, but that's my non medical opinion. I didn't realise it was the drug causing the electric shocks until I tried to come off it, which was hell and took a long time. Maybe you could ask to try and see if the extra helps? Stella
  12. Hi Cam - i did think that when i went offline - not the best choice of words, but i honestly used to get huge lows because I was underweight and not eating enough of the right food - I'd eat loads of vegetables etc and not bring my blood sugar up and be jittery, weak and unable to think clearly. Not trying to eat extremely healthily and not focusing on food so much (far easier said than done - only because Im mega concerned with other things now! :blushing: )has made a big difference to me. Good luck!
  13. I don't know, but it sounds like your blood sugar is a bit low at those times and so a pick-me-up helps boost the levels - works for me. Cheese is better than sweet food though as sweet food causes your blood sugar to yoyo up and down, which then ultimately makes you feel more tired, hungry etc. Though we need omega 3 for brain boosting I think the more immediate effect is down to blood sugar and maybe psychological things going on (in my non-medical opinion). I used to be bulimic and spent hundreds of hours trying to figure these things out. If you eat a more balanced diet then it might help you not have such huge dips. It helped me, especially not depriving myself and eating enough fat. Maybe if you are very focused on carbs then it is them you might be in need of through denying yourself? Stella
  14. I was on venlafaxine 300mg and quetiapine 600mg for OCD. I have since switched to prozac and quetiapine because of trying to conceive, but it isn't as good for me. I found venlafaxine really helped my OCD. I had to be careful to take the dose at the right time though as it has bad withdrawal effects even after a couple of hours - electric shock sensations - do you find that? I haven't tried clomipramine but the tricyclics are reported to have more side effects. I'd say if venlafaxine works and you are happy with it, stick with it (in my non medical opinion!) There are lots of drugs used for purposes other than they are licensed for - it's often how they find out a drug is good for something - by trying it for something else and discovering it has that side effect too. Stella
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