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Deb

Bulletin Board User
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About Deb

  • Birthday 03/12/1970

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Family or Friend

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    North West
  1. Hi Sharib, As the parent of a sufferer I understand just how powerless a childs symptoms can make parents feel. For what its worth, this is what helped me....... 1) Always, always keep informed about this subject, knowledge is most definately to your advantage here! 2) Distraction is a very important tool I found. As exhausting as it is sometimes, I found keeping my son busy and active was certainly beneficial. 3) Resist the urge to reassure. I know as a mum its so tempting to wrap your arms around your child and reassure him that all is ok. I found this useless. My son simply wanted more & more reassurance until the anxiety became so overwhelming that my words had no effect anyway. So I became his 'coach'. OCD became the enemy to be outsmarted!! I decided the way forward was to equip my son with as many 'weapons' against this disorder as possible. Damn right he was gonna beat it! That was the attitude I took, it gave me a way forward and helped me feel that I was at least doing something useful and productive. 4) Anxiety/OCD will take up as much room in a family as it can. I always found it better to 'play down' or overlook the complusions wherever possible, even distract the child if you can, but making a big deal about it really seemed to inflame the situation in my experience. One thing that must be understood is that symptoms are so variable and a childs ability to cope with the symptoms, changes all the time. Use your judgement and assess how difficult that particular issue is for that child TODAY. When kids are tired or ill, they will find it more difficult to cope so to some extent it hepls to be flexible. Hope tis helps! Good luck with the appointment. Deb x
  2. Wow, long time since I posted here, hi to everyone!! Just wondered if anyone knew how safe it is to take sleeping tablets with sertraline (200mg) and respiridone (0.5mg)? After a terrible relapse in OCD & anxiety symptoms last year, my 15 year old has turned his life around and recovered better than I could have prayed for. However, two weeks ago someone broke into our home, smashing the window in a bedroom and stole items from the house along with the car. My son was in the house alone at the time. He hasn't slept since and his symptoms have reappeared almost overnight. The GP has prescribed sleeping pills temporarily but I'm reluctant to go along with this. Does anyone have any experience of this type of medication combination? Thanks, Deb xx
  3. Hi Peter, I couldn't help but respond to your post. For what it's worth, my advice would be to remember that the bottom line is that you are in this together, as parents, as a couple and as a family. Of course you will all have different feelings and responses to the problems OCD can cause but standing firm together, talking with each other and being honest about your feelings are so important. It's so easy to take things out on one another when we are stressed, tired, worried etc but please do communicate and most importantly remember to spend time with each other doing things that are not OCD related. It can be a huge strain Peter, particularly for the parent who is a focus of some of the OCD behaviours as I was myself but the trick is not to let the problem consume the entire family. Hope you get some great advice here, take care & hope things improve for you all soon. Deb :original:
  4. Way to go Pam!!! Well done, what a great article!! :clapping: Deb xx
  5. Hi Celeste, Well done your son for getting to uni!! :clapping: I'm a uni student myself ( a rather mature student admittedly :a1_cheesygrin: ) but I do know that most universities will offer excellent support to students no matter what difficulties they are facing so it is good to know that your son has made an appointment with student services/support hopefully they can help. From a parents prespective (my son is just approaching his teens) I understand how difficult not reassuring is but there are things that you can do to help you both. For any parent I couldn't emphasise enough just how important it is to educate yourself about OCD and understand as much as possible although it is clear you are already doing exactly that and it will help tremendously. Be sure to access support if & when you need it, the support here is superb so you are in the right place! The next thing I would personally offer as advice, build on the positives. While you may want to "make it all better" this approach often doesn't help as much as we may feel this way naturally as mums, no matter how old they are I know. :original: But you can be his number 1 supporter, the one who's championing him on, reminding him of his successes. He may not feel able to achieve everything & some days or events will be more difficult and thats to be expected but every small step forward is a positive and getting to uni must be a huge step for him so thats great!! You mentioned that he isn't taking his medication regularly and thats probably not helping and who can blame a young person for wanting a few drinks but I'm not sure alcohol & meds mix at all well or that alcohol would be helping his symptoms so it may be best to encourage that he gets the anxiety under control and lay off the drink where possible. No one can blame him for going out with his friends for a few drinks, who wouldn't? But perhaps encourage that he deals with the stress & anxiety first and then follows the Gp's advice regarding alcohol & the medication he is taking. I know you say "I have no expectations" and perhaps it feels that way right now, but for me the most important thing to have is faith. I can't tell you how many times my son has achieved things I never thought he would and as a mum I've moved from feeling very helpless that there was so little that I could do, to having every faith in him to carry on fighting this awful interference from OCD and anxiety and I'll be right there beside him whenever he needs me. Hope this helps a bit, take good care of yourself celeste, All the very best Deb
  6. Hi Sadmum, My son is still only a child (12) but has been taking Sertraline for about 6 (ish) years now. When we had to make the choice of medication for the treatment of his OCD I remember how apprehensive we all were about it. Obviously as your son is an adult the situation is hugely different but I just wanted to let you know how successful medication has been for us. I would have preferred not to have him take it obviously but it really helped and was the right decision for us and for him. The effects of the OCD were far worse that any side effects of the medication although the response to medication is bound to be different for each individual. For my son he was quite "hyper" for a while and had a bit of stomach upset but the anxiety caused this also so it would be unfair just to blame the medication. Only once did we try to reduce the medication but the OCD returned very quickly. HOWEVER I do feel his doctors reduced the dosage far to quick and didn't offer him any support through the process so I couldn't honestly say whether the meds reduction caused the sudden increase of OCD or the anxiety caused from stopping his meds caused the OCD. We had hoped that the setraline would be a tempory treatment and would be stopped before he went to high school but I accept now that he will be taking it untill he is old enough to make his own choice about it unless the doctor has other ideas. When he went back on the medication it took double the dosage to get back to the stage he was at before the medication was stopped but OCD remains well under control most of the time thankfully. Anyhow, just wanted to say good luck to you & your son. All the very best to you both! :original: Deb
  7. Ash, what great news! The booklet looks great and will be so hugely helpful to children & families. Congratulations & well done to all :clapping: Best wishes, Deb
  8. Deb

    Telling parents..

    Hi there Zimmis, welcome to the forum. :original: It must be so difficult when parents don't understand or simply refuse to learn about OCD and I ( a parent myself) have also come up against family members who "don't believe" in OCD. You mentioned that you have seen doctors for treatment, has your mum attended any appointments with you at all? It may help if your doctor tries to explain your symptoms to your mum, that could be a good idea. :original: Do you have any close friends who could be supportive also? Any source of support can be a huge benefit. I think these forums are great for that purpose and to learn so much. Glad you found us Zimmis. Hope you find that threads like this one of James, helps you feel less "alone". Best wishes, Deb JAMES, glad the forums are helping! :original:
  9. Deb

    Telling parents..

    Hey James, just wanted to say good luck! :original: Best wishes, Deb
  10. Deb

    Is my OCD Still Bad?

    Hi 2828, Perhaps now could be a good time to confide a little more in someone you trust? Your parents or someone else in the family perhaps & let them know just how interfering these symptoms are in your life. I'm guessing from your post that maybe you mentioned a little of what has been happening to your family or friends to "test the water" or see what the response was? How did it go? Deb :original:
  11. Hi Easter lily, welcome! :original: Thats a couple of tough questions. It must be a very difficult situation for you all to be in. You mention that your parents are not against the idea of extra help, I was wondering if any kind of assessment had been performed perhaps by local authorities to identify where extra help may be needed or required? I'd have to hold my hands up and admit to knowing very little with regards to "hoarding". I am aware that it can be very difficult to tackle. Are both your parents happy with the way things are or is it a possibility that one parent is more accepting of the hoarding rather than contributing to it? I know you mention OCD and I wonder if that could be a diagnosis? I guess your parents would have to be in agreement to see a practitioner to find out the answer to that. I was wondering though if your parents "hoarding" is possibly more to do with the values often held by the older generation rather specific mental health symptoms. Of course only you are in the position of being aware how severe and problematic your parents behaviour is. Are there other members of your family that could support you in speaking to your parents about your concerns? It must be very difficult for you to be approaching this alone. Perhaps someone here with some experience can offer some helpful suggestions. Meanwhile, please take good care of yourself and try to find some time to relax and take care of your own needs to. Your health is also very important both for yourself and to enable you to be able to help support your parents. Take care & best wishes, Deb
  12. OCD can really dent self confidence unfortunately. I'm not saying that excuses what your wife did, not at all, she does sound to be struggling on this front though from what you mention. I hope you can both find a way forward through this and the very best of luck with the therapist. Do take care of yourself too though, it's a tough ride for partners as well. I hope you find these forums really help, even if it's just to "sound off" sometimes it really helps. Best wishes, Deb
  13. Deb

    Is my OCD Still Bad?

    Hi again, It really is a good idea to think about treatment if it is needed, earlier rather than later as Whitebeam said above. Is your family able to support you with this, sorry I don't know your age but perhaps they could be really helpful and most GPs are familiar with OCD symptoms and can be really helpful. Please don't feel that you are struggling with this alone, there is so much support available. Deb :original:
  14. Hi there and welcome. :original: Both yourself and your wife must be under a great deal of pressure right now and even though your wife may be finding her symptoms very stressful at such an early stage of her treatment, I do feel that it is your wife who is responsible for her actions and I'm not sure it could be blamed on OCD. Sorry if thats not what you would pefer to hear, but that would be my own opinion for what it's worth. Have you both talked this through? Has she been able to offer you any reason for her actions at all? You do deserve to be treated with respect and I guess only your wife can give you the answer to why she acted as she did. Perhaps some of the partners on here will be able to help more. :original: Wishing you all the best, Deb
  15. Just had to say........... Really glad to hear things are going well for you both. :original: Best wishes, Deb
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