Jump to content

tyga

Bulletin Board User
  • Content Count

    19
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About tyga

  • Birthday 12/10/1976

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Pure O

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Australia
  1. Has anyone done the Mark Freeman 'Mental Fitness101' course? I'm thinking of signing up but it is a bit expensive and I could just be looking for my magic answer as usual.
  2. This is a great list. I need it up where I can see it every day!
  3. I know the feeling. I am in the middle of my longest OCD anxiety attack for a very long while. Usually I can settle myself knowing it will only last a couple of days, but this is just going on and on for almost 2 weeks now. Of course, I didn't recognise that I was obsessing so I gave it full rein, not realising that all I was doing was giving in to the compulsion to ruminate over and over.
  4. Hi everyone, I have been on this site many times to read posts for inspiration and guidance but very rarely write anything. I find it hard to order my raging thoughts into coherent sentences. I have OCD thoughts for the last 20 years and have had to fight the compulsions each time OCD rears its ugly head. The topic may vary as the years go by but the obsessive thinking and anxiety are always the same. I am finally in a committed relationship but used to have anxiety over being single for many years before. I would imagine that if I was in a secure relationship, then I would be happy and all this would go away. Oh, how silly we can be... The OCD never goes away and now I am in the depths of another attack that has lasted for over a week. This time my obsession is about my partner and the usual compulsions are compelling me to think about our relationship and what is wrong with it over and over again every day. Being hyper sensitive, I am picking up on every nuance, every tone, every look, gesture or expression (including a lack of these things as well) and I have come to the conclusion that my partner doesn't really want me anymore and is just waiting for the right time to break up with me. And it doesn't seem irrational at all to me. It seems a very real possibility even though, when I try to focus on the positives, there are just as many of them that are proof that he does love me and wants to be with me. I am terrified that I am going to ruin this relationship with my anxiety and obsessive thinking. I'm am struggling to distract myself from these thoughts. I try to catch myself thinking them and then think about something positive instead, but my mind is convinced I need to be worried about this and prepare myself. I don't want to share all this with me partner cos I am worried he will think its all too hard and leave, making all this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Can anyone relate to this and does anyone have any advice for strengthening my own self-esteem and confidence to feel more in control of my thoughts? I feel like a cork floating on a raging sea. Tyga
  5. Thanks, Tricia. It helps when you know that you're not the only one.
  6. It's been a long time since I posted on this website. I have been managing over the last few years but every time a new change occurs in my life I find my OCD rearing its ugly head and challenging me again. My OCD is Pure O, obsessive thinking that I can't stop. I feel the compulsion to keep thinking about a particular topic even though I realise that the thoughts are irrational and faulty. These days my obsessive thinking is about my new relationship, although when I say new we've been together for over a year. It still feels new as I keep waiting for myself to feel more comfortable and relax into the relationship but it still hasn't happened yet. Does anyone have any advice about being in a relationship and obsessively thinking about what is or could go wrong? If i'm not careful, I will sabotage this relationship with my thinking as it starts to affect my behaviour. I can't stop obsessing over what he does or doesn't say, and does or doesn't do. Any advice would be welcome.
  7. I have read alot on here about doing exposure therapy yourself to make yourself immune to the scary thoughts. But I am too terrified of my thoughts to try it. What if I do it and I end up totally convinced my thoughts are real? My mind is very powerful in creating images and I'm afraid I would end up believing the scary thoughts I'm trying to get rid of. If they were true, I just couldn't handle it, you know. All I can do that works is distract myself until the anxiety dies down, and eventually when the anxiety has gone I find it easy to dismiss the thoughts when they come up. But now I'm reading that this is not good to do and ignoring them doesn't make it go away, which I guess is true cos every couple of years it comes back again and I have forgotten everything I learned the last time and basically start from scratch again. It is very good at making me believe that THIS time it isn't OCD but really true. Can anyone tell me about exposure therapy and what it is meant to do? I really want this to go away forever. Tyga
  8. Thanks for ur reply, Kylie. It's such a tricky thing cos it has me almost convinced its not OCD. The arguments it can come up with! I have almost fallen for it again. I know I need to keep reassuring myself it is and this forum certainly helps alot. I do have a therapist and I will be talking it through with her. Do you ever feel when you are so high in anxiety that your senses are dulled? Food tastes like cardboard and you can't really see properly, like the colour has drained out of everything?
  9. Hi, It's been a while since I was on here cos I've been able to keep my thoughts under control for the last 2 years. But it's reared it's ugly head again, and with new information to scare me with. So now, with this new information I am more convinced I don't have OCD and my thoughts are true. This is hard for me, I've never actually written down my thoughts like this before but I feel that I can now. My thoughts are always about sexual abuse. It started 14 years ago when I couldn't stop thinking that every man I saw coould be a child abuser. I just realised that I would never know who was and who wasn't and it scared me to the core. But then I started to think where did these thoughts come from. And then the what ifs started and from that day to this I have never been able to shake them. What if I was abused and that's why I think these things? Then I start to think who could it have been. This is the most frightening thought I have ever had, and I feel so guilty as well, but I have no recollections of any incidents even after all these years of worrying about it. At it's worst I worry that there is something wrong with me and I am a pedaphile or deviant. The problem is I am worrying about something in the past that someone else did. The posts I have read are about people worrying about what they have done or might do to other people. So maybe its not OCD and I really should be worrying about this. Its almost like I fell that if I just keep worrying about it I will eventually get an answer and find out the truth. Can anyone else tell me if they have thoughts like this or if it isn't OCD? I can't take much more of this anxiety and panic attacks. tyga PS sorry this is so long
  10. About 2 years ago I had a major relapse of my OCD. I used this site a lot for help and the people here really got me through that hard time. So first I'd like to say thank you so much for this site. Without it, I really can't say where I'd be right now. Anyway, I feel now as though I have really got my OCD under control. I have felt like this for about a year now. And you'd think I'd be feeling great and looking positively ahead. Well, I thought that's what I'd be feeling. But I don't. Instead, I feel as though I've wasted alot of time and haven't achieved half the things I wanted to by this age. I know this is not the right way to be thinking. How can I dismiss all that suffereing and pain I went through for so long and now say to myself 'Why haven't you done this yet, or that?' It makes no sense, and all I feel now is depression that I haven't got the high flying life I thought I would. I'm sorry this is more of a moan than a helpful message to OCD sufferers. And I must say that even the way I feel now is better (and preferable) to what I have felt in the past. Is it that I'm just a negative thinker? Am I destined to always find the down side to every situation? I don't want to be this negative about my life, I want to be a positive, happy thinker who enjoys what they have. But all I can see is what I don't have. It's just occured to me: could this be my OCD again but in a different form? I have gained control over my most terrifying thoughts but have these others, about other aspects of my life snuck through without my noticing? This truly is a devastating disorder. :dry: Tyga PS Sorry to drone on. I don't usually write this much. :original:
  11. yeah i know ur right ive done it before.Its just so easy to forget! :hug:
  12. I think therapy is a good idea. Where is ur support group?
  13. it feels so bad though, and i really would love to be one of those positive people who are happy and not paranoid tyga
  14. You're right. but its the little things like a look or a tone of voice that makes me worry. Or one friend wont tell me something but will tell another friend and i get paraniod that they like them more than me. It sounds so high schoolish i know but thats what i think!
  15. thanks it is ocd but i often forget and blame myself
×