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Lisa

Bulletin Board User
  • Content Count

    197
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About Lisa

  • Birthday 22/01/1985

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Magical thinking, thought rituals, touching, retracing movements, some intrusive thoughts, rereading, good/bad numbers.... wow i have lots!

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    this bit of somewhere
  1. thanks everyone for your replies. I spent the morning apologising but have finally stopped. Now just feeling guilty about enjoying myself... Lisa
  2. Hi I tried apologising and ended up doing it for 2 and a half hours. I kept having to start my apology again and in the end the only way i could stop was by making another promise to stop and so now I am back to the start with needing to apologise! I don't know what to do any more :crybaby: Lisa
  3. Hi Thanks for sharing your experiences. I know what you mean, it is very confusing as to what is OCD and what isn't. At first I didn't think any of the thoughts were OCD but now I realise that the majority of them were. However some of them were just me using the knowledge that if I promised something to God then I would have to do it as a way of motivating myself to do something. Of course I didn't think it through and ended up promising things that were difficult to deliver but I still shouldn't have done it and this is what I feel I need to apologise for.
  4. Hi the trouble is, some of the promises i made were not down to OCD so I feel I need to apologise for not being able to keep them
  5. thanks for your replies apologising has been one of my compulsions before so this is why I am wary of it. However a friend of mine who is Christian and has OCD said I should apologise to God but only once. I don't know that I will be able to keep it to once as there are so many variations on the wording of what I want to apologise for but I will try and not let it become a compulsion Lisa
  6. Hi (again) I have made a significant step in the 'promises' problem in that I decided to try and ignore the promises and carry on as normal. However now I feel like I need to apologise! I have apologised for my decision and for making the promises in the first place and for intending to break said promises but I keep thinking of more things to apologise for and I feel like I can't do anything until I have apologised properly. Part of me thinks that this is just replacing one obsession with another but then people do pray to apologise to God don't they? So isn't it normal to apologise when you've done something this bad? Lisa
  7. thanks for your reply Writing things down is a good idea as I always doubt that what I'm doing is OCD, it might become something of a long list though lol. I am going to try and leave the thoughts and promises behind if i can. Lisa x
  8. Hi I'm really sorry to bother everyone again but i am struggling to find answers. I am still stuck over all these promises I have made to God, most of them I know are caused by OCD and so I am pretty much able to let them go but then there are some promises that I have made that aren't down to OCD and are just down to me, ie I have promised that I will do something purely as an impetus to get myself to do it but now I am struggling to keep track of what I have promised and which promised were motivated by OCD and which ones weren't. I feel like if I promised to do something on pain of going to Hell and it wasn't for OCD reasons and I genuinely meant it at the time then it's like I have no excuse not to fulfil it and if I don't do it then I'll go to Hell. I feel like I'm just using OCD as an excuse. Lisa
  9. thanks for the advice and support. i am trying to convince myself to ignore the thoughts x
  10. Thanks for responding. It's interesting that you say about my religion as I automatically thought 'oh but I'm not religious' lol. it's more that i just have a fear of going to Hell even if I don't know whether it exists or not. Assuming the thought 'I might go to Hell if I break this promise' is the irrational thought then the only way to challenge it (i'm guessing) is by seeing the promise as part of the ocd and not adhering to it?
  11. thanks for replying. I have suffered very badly with magical thinking OCD in the past so it would make sense that this is also magical thinking but I am still struggling in fact i made it worse by making a promise not to do something and now i feel i have to avoid doing this for the rest of my life even though it is something that I want to do. I am now left ruminating about whether to keep the promise I made or not, when I should be reading for my course! :crybaby:
  12. Thanks for replying, it is much appreciated. I see what you are saying, I just feel that if I have promised to do something and I don't do it I might go to Hell even if OCd is partly to blame. But on the other hand I feel like I can't carry on keeping my promises as I will end up losing my job and failing my OU course because I have to keep rereading things and stuff Assuming it is OCD would deliberately not doing something I have promised to do be the kind of 'exposure' exercise I should be doing?
  13. Hi there I haven't been on here in a long time due to having therapy and things being a bit better but of course having successfully almost gotten over my last obsession, a new one has come along I now, despite being previously not religious at all, have developed a fear of going to Hell. I am worried that if i break a promise to God then I will go to Hell but the trouble is I have made promises to God because of trying to get myself to stop doing a compulsion. I would get stuck rereading a page in a book (as rereading is one of my compulsions) and the only way i could think of to stop me from rereading again and again was to promise that I wouldn't on pain of going to Hell but now I'm worried that I will accidentally reread something I prommised I wouldn't or go against some other promise that I have made. I know the Christian God is supposed to be forgiving but not being a Christian I don't know if I believe in 'Him', it's more that it could be any kind of higher power and they might not be as forgiving. So now I don't know if I should just ignore all the promises I have made or whether I need to adhere to them. Any thoughts? Oh yeah, I should add, I only have 1 more session with my pscyhologist and that is not til November so I can't really talk to him about it. Lisa
  14. hi lisa how r u?

  15. Hi there I have a similar problem with making mental promises. It started by me trying to stop myself from doing rituals, I'd promise I wouldn't do a ritual or I would be cursed and I still do this sometimes when I get 'stuck' doing something. But now I'll just think of doing something and I'll think 'what if I promised I'd do that' and then I have to try and do whatever it is and it'll have to be perfect or exact otherwise it might not 'count'. I have been trying to not give into the urge to 'fulfil' the promise but it's hard. Hope you manage to fight back. Lisa x
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