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About Dragonfruit

  • Birthday 17/07/1977

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    You name it - I've probably had it

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  1. I just dropped in to say "thank you" to everyone here who has helped me over the years. I'm doing pretty well and am feeling very grateful x

    1. gingerbreadgirl


      really glad you're doing well Dragonfruit :) x

    2. taurean


      Thanks for the positive update!

  2. I'm not really sure why it's been so long since I last posted - or, indeed, why I have posted today. The "place" has changed so much since I was here last. It amazes me how much work has been accomplished and how huge this organisation has become. There are people here who have dedicated their lives to helping others - I'm one of the others - and I can't tell you how much OCD-UK has meant to me over the years. (I mis-typed that and wrote "tears" - which is also pretty accurate!) To them I want to say thank you. I still have some rough days (I still have some fricking hideous days too) - but thanks to these forums and the amazing people who keep it going (day and night) I'm doing pretty well. I remember so clearly the first time I found the courage to post - I can picture myself sitting at my desk - trembling - as I wrote it. I was so unsure about the responses I might get and so nervous about the journey I was about to embark on. The only thing I regret about that post is not having done in nine years earlier when the nightmare began. But once I posted that question, the light at the end of the tunnel became visible. Everyone was so supportive and so friendly. It felt as though I'd know these people for years. I log on from time to time, and dip in and out of the forums. I don't recognise many of the people anymore - but there are old friends here - and it is comforting just to see the names popping up. There is a feeling of constancy and stability here. To the people who helped me get my life back on track, who pointed me in the right direction and then stood behind me every step of the way: thank you. You are amazing.
  3. Amazing! You two should be so proud of yourselves - I know I am. You deserve every penny you get. Well done x
  4. Hi there - this really resonated with me so thought I should reply. Simple answer is - yes, this is OCD. You are doing something because you feel you must even though there is no sense to it. I do something very similar with the white lines on the road (I won't go into it here because I have found that reading things on this forum can put ideas into your head and I don't want to be responsible for introducing another ritual to anyone lol) I also write words on my leg with my finger - and hate if it doesn't "feel" right - I often have to start over. I've had OCD for a long time and been a member (on and off) for eight years - I am mostly managing the OCD pretty well now - but still have times when I really struggle. The lines and words are one of my biggest signs that things are starting off again. I also self-harmed for several years - reading your post was quite spooky for me. I don't know your background - but you mention a therapist. I guess you know what you should do with all this. I have given you the reassurance that it is OCD - now go fix it - you can do it :original:
  5. Amazing, guys - what an incredible thing to do. Off to sponsor you both right now. Noooooooooooooooodles of luck to you both - hope you manage to have some fun xx
  6. Hi guys I can't believe it has been more than 7 years since I joined OCD-UK. I have been absent for a while (due to personal reasons) but wanted to come back and see how everyone was doing. The site looks fantastic. I can't believe how many more members there are now. The charity helped me hugely in the beginning and I know it has been a real life-saver for so many people. Just wanted to remind you all that there is light at the end of the tunnel. One week ago today, I kissed the Blarney Stone!! I would never have thought I would be able to do something like this even a few years ago. My life has changed so much in the past 7 years - and I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has helped me through. I am getting to the point where I am starting to recognise myself again - and it feels great If you're going through a rough time at the moment - hang on in there - things will change for you - I'm living proof of it xxx
  7. Hi Porkchop You have done nothing wrong at all in talking to an old friend. This type of thing is very quickly picked up by the OCD as an easy target. You don't need to show your boyf the convo - you do need to try to stop reading it and thinking about it. Easier said than done I know - but this is def a case of over-analysing Feel better xx
  8. I know it's a bit cheeky to be posting here since it has been soooooooooo long since I've visited. But I had a breakthrough a few mins ago and wanted to share it I just cleaned my bathroom for the first time in over 5 years!!!!!!!! (Before everyone freaks out - the bathroom is cleaned by hubs every day - it has not been getting filthier by the day for 5 years!!) I did it all on my own and I used a cloth instead of the usual 12 rolls of kitchen towel OMG!!!!!!!!! I can hardly believe it!!!!!!!!! I know the anxiety will come later - but I'm expecting it and will kick it's ass!!! So - I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has helped me get here and to say to everyone struggling - IT CAN BE DONE
  9. as far as i know 20mg is the strength the vast majority of people start off on if you've not been taking it for a while your doc will want you to build the dosage up gradually
  10. sounds as though you are doing brilliantly - you have a lot of strength - keep going x
  11. Jo - you're so super brave - you can def do this. In fact you've inspired me to book mine - has been 7 years since I had my last (and only) test.
  12. Hi Phoenix Your English is very good First of all, please don't hurt yourself anymore - I have also self-harmed a lot in the past - and although it feels better at the time - soon after you feel guilty and ashamed for having done it. It really doesn't make things any better. As for the thoughts being worse when you are studying - do you find that you are more stressed when you study? OCD is often worse when you are feeling anxious. I understand that you feel there is a bit of a culture issue here - and I certainly do not know anything about how your medical system works in China - so will not presume to advise you there - but it is important for you to get as much information on OCD as you can - this is an excellent site for that. You sound as though you have quite a lot of knowledge on the subject already. Don't feel shame about having OCD - it is a medical condition the same as any other x
  13. Mmmmm - so - did really well earlier - broke one of my big "rules" Knew it would spike me but felt ok with it Don't feel OK now at all Not at all Know I have to just work through this but am soooooooooooooo tempted to "negate" it I know I shouldn't - but I really want to Haven't felt this bad in a really long time :helpsmilie:
  14. You are doing brilliantly honey - how are you feeling today?
  15. Soooooo - good weekend. Except that Izzy (my 2-year-old niece) wee'd on me. Was OK at the time, but it's praying on my mind a lot now. Having problems chatting to my friends too - which is making me paranoid. And nearly had a verbal with a really rude woman in the shopping centre just now - am all angry and shaky.
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