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rainbow

Bulletin Board User
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    114
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    pure o

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  • Gender
    Female
  1. Hi polar Bear, thanks for your post. she is 11.This story that she has been told as really scared her, just a silly kids ghost story, that has now caused a full blown ocd attack.she eventually went to sleep last night about 2am in her own bed but crept in mine at 4. She is afraid to fall asleep, as her fear is a ghost will get her while she sleeps. obviously as we know, there is no reasoning with her, as her fear is greater than reality. I will try to see if settling a time limit works just her inability to fall asleep in her own bed is huge problem. I want her desperately to be happy and not afraid, but at the same time by taking her into my bed I know I'm just reinforcing her fears that she has things to fear.
  2. Hi, I have not posted on here for a long while, but really in need of some advice and help.I have suffered from ocd, intrusive thoughts since I was a child. I'm now 49, still fighting the battle, doing well atm, finally kicking ocd butt. I have 4 beautiful children, all have been plagued with this horrible illness. My eldest daughter fights daily with it been on n off meds since she was 14, she is now 26. It pains me to see her suffer, but she is a fighter like me. My youngest daughter is in the mist of a very bad attack of it, she is a anxious child, had ocd traits since around 7, but it has now upped a gear. She went to CAMMS last year for assessment, he said she had mild ocd, but more anxiety:( I wasn't convinced he was right. I know her ocd is much worse than he said. We were in process of moving counties, so we couldn't continue with CAMMS there. We moved home and her ocd really settled, almost nonexistent. However the last two weeks, have been horrendous!! my granddaughter told her a scary story that has petrified my daughter. She will now not go to bed on her own, or sleep in her bed.The last two weeks, she has slept with me . This I know is feeding n fuelling this dam ocd. I'm at my wits end..Ive tried sitting with her, reading her books on ocd, for reassurance. We have some child friendly ocd books . Nothing is helping as I'm writing this she is still awake..I know it's easier to let her sleep in my bed, it makes her feel safe, however I know this is just making the situation worse... I understand ocd so well, but I can't seem to help her, feeling like I'm failing her. I'm so sad too, tired n exhausted. It has not helped as it has been the Christmas holidays, so doctors surgery has been limited. Also no school to occupy her mind. I am taking her to docs this week, but the waiting list for CAMMS where I live is 6mths ...a joke. she needs CBT and I need help, so I can help her. Feeling a failure
  3. Hi GOOD NEWS!!!! my soon to be dear grandchild will not be going on no registar, went there and kick butt!! took so much info wrote letter all about ocd, they didnt have leg to stand on. Not one person at meeting had a clear understanding of ocd, and some people new nothing at all. I did copys of all imforamation that I gave to chair before start of meeting and suggested that unless they all read my documents then the meeting would not go ahead. When meeting was concluded they all asked to keep documents and said that they had learnt alot and the imformation would help them all greatly. my last quote at bottom of letter that I wrote was I wonder how many of you here today suffer in silence with OCD? and I wonder now how many took the imforamtion for their on benift? Thankyou so very mcu for all your kind words of support xxxxxxxxxx love rainbow and little rainbow and soon to be wee rainbow xxxxx
  4. hi thankyou all so very much for all your great support and avice. No carmoole I havn't got that book have read it though very good book, hard going at times though!! have got some info from my daughters cbt doc that will take with me and will be busy today getting as much info i can arm myself with. I am just so disgusted that they have had 7 mths since they first heard of my daughters ocd and in that time have done jack..... to find out one single thing about ocd if they done any research then they would know without a doubt that she does not pose a treat to anybody let alone her dear son!! on top of because doc from hos sent in his medical report from wen lil rainbow first went and got diagonsed. Ie what age she was freinds family realationships any trigger factors they have mentiond my son who also has ocd, he also has harming thoughts but is much better that lil rainbow. so they now know about my sons ocd he has a daughter too and is expecting his secound child very soon, i was in tears yesterday because I then had to tell him that it may be very likly that they will make a vist to him. They have open such a big box that has had such a massive impact and a knock on effect with so many people. I want to scream and shout protect my children from these stupid Igronant ........ but know that I have to be strong and hold it together for my daughter tomorrow. I will state at the opening of the meeting unless they all have a very clear understanding of ocd then this can not go ahead as how can anybody make such a very important desscion life changing! without any knowledge at all and if you had one bit of knowledge then this meeting should not even be a consideration at all. many thanks rainbow xxxxx
  5. Dear caramoole Thankyou for your post, yes I will write things down and arm my self with as much info as I can get. as I put in previous post got letter from my daughters doc from hos but really dont think it will help. I asked for a letter to be wrote explaining that yes she has ocd get intrusive thoughts but has we all know poses no risk, instead he has gone through her whole history when it first started which in my daughters case was triggered by her being privey to her baby sister dieing of cot death 14 years ago, this has been mentioned which as you can imagine has bought out so many trumatic memories for my self and all other falmily members. Yes in letter he has explained risk that has he put it very low but this in self I cant understand I have read my daughters note and her thoughts they are the same as millons as other peoples are with ocd in particular her hating knives! which I know is extremely common, i so scared that they will just see this and in their ignorance will feel they will have a free rain to choose what happens to my dear grandson Im so scared cant eat feel sick with worry and am so so fearfull for my daughters wellbeing at a loss at mo what to do love rainbow xxxx
  6. hi i desperate need for some help in particular all people who suffer from intrusive thoughts. Need lots evidence to take with me to meeting on thursday to show all bods that having intrusive thoughts doesnt make you a risk to anybody, that they are just thoughts that are never acted upon. have got lettter from daughters doc at hospital but to be very truthfull dont read very well just says yes she does have thoughts explains in detail what they are, says that baby is at no risk, but i am very fearfull that bods at meeting will just see the the thoughts of harming, and if they do not have a very clear understanding of ocd how it works my future grandson will be put on th at risk registar or o my dont even wannt to think about worse case sinero take him away from my daughter. If they do not have a clear understanding of ocd then the outcome doesnt look good at all. My daughter is so scared and i am so fearfull for her wellbeing if the outcome isnt a postive one. thankyou legend your letter bought tears to my eyes i am appalled at what happened to you its a disgrace just should never have happend. I cant begin to imagine what you went through the trumar must have been so awlful for all of you, am outraged that you and your family should ever have had to go through that at all. thankyou for your very kind words of support it means so much take care love rainbow x thankyou meeting thursday am dreading it
  7. hi just a real quicky on way to vist my daughters doc very shortly. just wanted to say a very big thankyou to fathom_nature and lawrie for your kind words of support, ment a great deal to me and my daughter especially yours words Lawrie that my dear grandson will be at no risk at all thankyou My daughter read this and put a very big amile upon her face. I will be asking my daughters doc today for a letter to take to the meeting on thursday and am also waitng for my gp to return a call so she can write a report on my daughters ocd and hopefully midwife will be able to help too as we are both seeing her tomorrow. I have rang the SS and have told them I will be making a formal complaint. I have also been given a number by Mind a group called family rights group whom hopefully will beable to point me in the right direction and arm me with some vaulable imformation on how i can be prepare and what to expect at this meeting. I am in the process of writing a letter which I will give to every person present at the meeting stating that unless they all have a very clear understang of ocd and how it works, then they should leave the meeting. Im guessing that none of them will, so i will tell them that the meeting has to be reschdule as Lawrie so rightly suggested. finding this all very very hard as i put in earlier post my ocd has kicked in big time and am stuggling very much at the moment anyway but with all this and trying so hard to help my dear daughter whom should be very excited about impending birth is now so scared and is finding it very hard to cope. any more suggestions would be very gratefully received does anybody no of anything that i could down load that would paint a very clear picture of pure o that I could take with me. I have been looking on net but to be truthful finding everything a bit too hard at the mo thankyou love rainbow xxx
  8. hi havnt been on here for a long time have been doing ok for quite sometime had so many changes since lst time ive posted. Two major changes my husband and I have been seperated for over a year soon to be divoresd after 23 yrs. My 18 yr old daughter whom also has ocd like me is 4 wks off having her first baby. I dont where to start but here goes.... when my daughter was first pregnant on her first vist to see the miwife she told the midwife of her ocd as we both felt wolud be benifaical to share with her because as i am very aware that having a baby can increase and agrovate ocd tenfold. I felt that to get the best possible help for my daughter she needed extra support and help through her pregnancy and as I explained to the midwife that very often after th birth ocd symptoms would increase and medication would be very benifical, as my daughter has had long periods on meds I felt sure she would need them after the birth as did our GP. The midwife did understand some concepts of ocd and was very supporative and as been excellent all the way through my daughters pregnancy. At the very first meeting the midwife refered my daughter to the social services because she is a teenage pregnancy was in a very turbulant relationship and her ocd she felt made her a case for special needs. anyway so thats what happend she was refered and now the ..... has hit the fan. Last Thursday my daughter had a vist from SS i was privey to lets just say half the convo and what i heard made me feel sick to the stomach!! Whilst I had been out this woman had told mt daughter that because of her ocd in particular her thoughts it had sent alram bells ringing and she was in the process of arranging a meeting with a view to putting my daughters baby my grandchild on the at risk registar!!! My poor daughter had no idea what this ment as the SS didnt explain just made the asumption that she should, now how many 18 yrs old would have a clue not many? my daughter in her innocence thought it was a good thing. I am not ashamed to say it but I went mad saw red!! told the woman on what grounds and asked her in all the months you have had you have not even bothered to research find out one simple thing about ocd but come here and have the front to tell me and my daughter just because she has thoughts that she seems to think the baby is at risk. I said I have had it for 25 yrs plus bought up 4 kids and never have they been at risk, in fact if you had bothered to research it a little and lets face it! it is so well documented now, then you would no they are just thoughts and do not in any way make you a bad person and a ocd sufferer is less likely to hurt anyone and she would have been able to read that they are just thoughts and have no reflection on you as a person and these toughts are never acted apoun. I am so angry so hurt and so fear full for my daughters future and my dear grandchild and it has now kicked in my ocd big time as the stress is playing havoc on it. My daughter is in bits thank god she lives with me so I can look after her but she is petrified of now giving birth and the SS taking her baby away. IM struggling to cope and this thursday have to attened meeting with board with view to my grandchilds future. As my daughter put mum hes not even here yet and will be born with a stamp on him what future does he have what boxes does this oipen?? very sad hurt mum who wants to scream and shout having ocd dosnt make you a bad person at all and we shouldnt be made to feel ashamed please please my head hurt a bit but if anybody got some good info on ocd and thoughts that i could share with bods at meeting i would be very very grateful lv rainbow xxxxx
  9. Hi nadine welcome to the boards :original: I'm sure you will get lots of help and great support from everyone on here, there is always someone to help, and always somone thats has the same sort of ocd! so lots of peeps to relate to I have pure o ( intrusive thoughts) welcome again lv rainbow xx
  10. Dear Ashley this is very worring! but like you said the pros and cons have to be weighed up!! I was taking serrataline, and then became preganant! I was very concerned the effects it had already had on my baby, as i was approx 8 wks when i found out. This ment that all the baby's vital organs had already formed and has I have a history of still birth I was very very worried. I consulated my doctor asap! who at the time was not unduly concerned, however at 5 mths I went bk to see him for someting else and again asked him. he was very alarmed and rang the makers of this drug whom proceded to tell him that there had been cases where babys had been born with some of there digets missing!! I was deeply upset, but thankfuly had had very detailed scan at kings and got the all clear for my baby. However she was born prem because she had a rare clotting factor disorder! which required two transfusions. Thankfuly she is now a very active and happy if not some what naughty two yr old! But I have to say there is a flip side to this. When I had to come of the drug and was not really happy to take any others, I did get the most alwful deppression through out the whole pregnancy, and then went on to have full blown pnd and ocd. The well fare of the unborn baby is vital, but also the mothers too which left un treated can be catapluted into depts of dispair through out her pregnancy, and not always but often is followed by the dreaded pnd and often tied in with ocd. Cases should be looked at very carfully and parents should be given as much imforamtion as they require so they can make the right choices for them, but sometimes I guess this is always not possible( when some mums to be are so un well) they are not capable of making these choices rainbow
  11. With our ocd tears we would create a new sea! we would sail around the world from our own front door we could make a river and sail to the moon we could wash away the grey days forever we could have a rainbow every day we could ride the tide and float to timbukto we could jump in puddles from dusk till dawn we could do all this and more with all of ocd tears but if my tears could be wishes for just one day then I would have enough wishes to set you all free lv and wishes rainbow xxxx [/b]
  12. Dear Green eyes I am sending you lots of love and hugs Please please dont give up! you will come out of this dark place you will see the sun shine again and you will be at peace in this life! There is a way out, its just some days are so very very hard, and you think things will never get better, but they can, and they do! You will find the inner strenght to fight this, you are stonger than this ocd, you are here talking to us! that tells me you are strong you just need all of us to give you a hand and to hold you up while you are in this hour of need. We will pull toghter to help you and we are all here for you get busy typing please!! I have been so low and been there and I found the samaritains so very very helpful, just to talk to you and help you in you hour of need can do so much for you. get typing get ringing please dont dont give up you can beat this take care love and hugs and sending you the sweetest rainbow xxx
  13. Dear jim I havent posted for a little while, been so wrapped up in life and all the hurdles it throws ar you, and ocd being the biggest hurdel!! i'm so sorry that you are so very low and so lonely and trapped! this is such an awlful ilness as well you and all of us know. I do belelive that the thoughts nearly always pray on the ones you love and care for the most, they find our weekness! AND THAT'S HOW IT GETS YOU. But the only way forward is to try to be strong I know its hard but because you have asked your girlfriend to move out this will not improve the situation long term, yes short term you will feel better, maybe you need that just at the mo, but what ever relationship you are in, becasue of your strong feelings of love there is always a danger of these thoughts! it's becasue you love her so much, if you didnt you wouldn't get them. I have them most days about my dear little girl and like you they hurt like hell. I will be honest some days I have not wanted to be near her for fear of my thoughts, but I guess I have had no choice but to ride them out, and it is very hard and so draining. Obviously for you your situation is so much harder because you have not yet found a med than can help you, and the fact you are still on a waiting list for help really does not help. It is only natural that you feel resentment of your girlfriend and the getting out and going to work, don't beat yourself up about this, this is just natural, and not surprising beacause you are indoors all the time. we all feel some form of resentment every day and I know I do because so often ocd stops me doing the things i want to do. I look at other people and often think just for one day you have this and see if you can still smile! But I do smile just not as much as I would like but I know one day I will and so will YOU. I hope that things get better for you very soon, and that when you feel the time is right your girlfriend will come home so you will not feel so alone, but remember you are not ALONE we are all here Oh one more thing yes I heard that lots of people with ocd are artistic in one way or another. I paint draw and in genaral love arty things, and my daughter who also has ocd is a singer song writer!! so i guess ther are lots of very creative ocd people out there take care lv rainbow
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