bluegas

Very !! He really needs to think some of his comments through a bit more

What th hell you on about

You say tragic but ur posts always give me a bit of assurance (not reassurance) before I get told off same as the op @Emmalou1976 I don’t take no pleasure in your suffering but it’s like I could have written some of your posts my self! I do take medication but have never gotten on with cbt therapy and have gotten quite down when sometimes it been suggested I’m just not doing it right ! But for me the main reason I stick with this forum is for the. People like yourselves who make me feel like part of some sort of community and for me knowing I’m not alone is therapy in its self ! Thank you

Thank you

Thank you I don’t have any practical solutions but what the op writes really resonates with me so my support is all I can give ! But thanks again

Sorry to be as unhelpful as I always am but I’ve struggled with pocd on and off for the last 25 years to ! And going through a tough time at the moment brave people like you posting let’s the not so brave people like me know I’m not alone so thank you for that and I hope you get some peace soon !

Hi phill you really have triggered me by changing that slab! I’ve been working so hard to leave all my imperfections alone and now ocd is telling mel I need to go and change things just because you did! But I really am going to do my best to stay strong! I’m by no means saying this to make you feel bad or have a go ! But I really want you to see what a slippery slope your on ! You completely ignored everybody’s advice on this ! Which I completely understand I know that feeling when the compulsion is so strong you’re gonna do what ever it takes ! I was out rebuilding a wall Xmas eve because the anxiety was killing me and then still wasn’t happy so Xmas was ruined anyway but how you ever gonna take control of your life back by giving in every time! I get it I really do ! I don’t know maybe I’m writing to myself ! Just hope you and me can find some peace

You definitely never up set me I thought I upset you ha ! ButI think your bang on here!! at the moment I’m really struggling with really dark intrusive thoughts when I’m being intimate and the guilt shame and disgust they leave me with is unbearable leaving me feeling like a monster so I suppose yeah your theme to me seems easy and probably vice versa but they are both hell on earth for us respectively!but trying to spot the common denominator in all this which is of course OCD and that is where any theme stems from so it’s just worth sometimes looking at it from another angle! I suppose !

Thank you

Ha ha thank you for that my friend it’s nice to know I make sense to someone

Yeah I am a builder and if my fears/themes were health/contamination I would 100% be the same as you but because there not I probably view it at the same risk as driving on busy roads as in a accident could happen but my brain sees it as a small risk! In my not very well educated way of explaining things I was just trying to say you should try focusing more on the fact that the ocd is causing you more of a problem than the lead or which ever material ever will ! It’s so hard I know but I’m trying myself to deal with the ocd rather than than trying to fire fight every problem it presents me with. I hope this has made some kind of sense

Sorry if I triggered you . Wasn’t my intention I know what I’m trying to say in my head I just can’t ever seem to put it to the right words

Please please leave it you change that slab and something else will take its place and feel 10x worse! I know I’m a builder and have the exact same issues as you do expect it was happening every day! At one point I was charging work redoing work! I lost Christmas because of one brick being slightly darker than the rest! But with some help from my wife I’m learning to leave things alone it’s hell at first and I know it drives you crazy but each time you leave it ! It becomes easier at one point my wife made me swear I would not change a wonky brick and I felt like I was gonna explode but that brick is still wonky now and I hardly even think about it ! It’s not easy and I’ve got a long way to go but changing that slab is a compulsion! And we all know compulsions are about as helpful as sunglasses on a bloke with one ear !

I know you mean well you just seem to miss the point and can unintentionally be quite triggering! At the end of the day we are all learning and trying our best to help each other I myself have been pulled up in the past in how I come across and I’m trying to do better! Just maybe take on board your views might not always be helpful especially when we are in a sensitive group

I’m doomed then ! Cheers Howard as helpful as ever

I’m reading this and thinking the exact same as you! I guess ocd is the key phrase here! I’m a builder and handle lead copper and other metals regularly without gloves eat my lunch and in the past when the kids were small probably went home and picked them up! Now admittedly I probably could do with upping my health and safety game but my brain sees it as a very small threat! Where as something that happened 10 years ago like flirting with another woman or whatever I’ve obsessing about seems like the worst thing in the world !! What I’m trying to say is we need to see ocd for the illusion that it really is ! Because it really does tell us lies! My theme’s seems to change like the wind these days and maybe one day I will become obsessed with contamination fears but I’m just trying to point out that it’s not the theme that’s the problem it’s the ocd !

Thought you didn’t diagnose

I promise you are not alone I struggle with exlactly the same thing! I’ve said before the thoughts are bad enough but the shame and disgust it leaves you with is next level! I often think it’s a side of ocd that’s not really discussed much even in the ocd community’s

I can’t offer advice but I can offer support I feel very much in the same boat as you right now ! And like you say it’s not the thoughts so much it’s the extrem shame and disgust it leaves us with! Please know you’re not alone ! This tea is a vile condition !

Very well said

I think shame and quilt are still very much underestimated in ocd ! Even most professionals still seem completely focused on the actual thoughts or actions than the emotions it leaves us with! I alway say if I feel quilt it’s not just a little bit it’s like I’ve killed someone ! Same as shame when I feel shame I feel like I’ve committed the worse type of crime! Same as fear of I feel fear you would think I had the mafia coming for me! An example I was on a night out and during that night out a woman started talking and showing interest in me ! I was completely respectful said I’m married with kids etc but on the way home I said out loud to my self completely on my own if I was single I would have definitely pulled tonight!( Maybe a bit more graffic than that )Woke up next day and just started completely obsessing why I said that what did it mean ! by the end of the day you would have thought I’d had a full blown affair, I even knew how irrational it was ! But there was no intrusive thought I was the one that thought it on purpose

Handy your understanding of ocd is very strange! I know you mean well and I think that’s why you don’t get told off more often. but I find a lot of your comments quite unhelpful and very triggering! You can obsess over an action just as much you can a thought ! OCD is a very complex disorder and can attack in many different ways ! And it’s a lot more complicated than the way you often portray it! Obviously your heart is in the right place but please be more mindful of what you type ! All the best to you thou

I completely understand this! The amount of times I’ve purposely felt the need to check or explore the thought or a feeling! And even years later I feel so guilty that I could allow myself to think some really sick stuff on purpose ! But at the time I felt so compelled to test myself! There’s a person on here that constantly says an intrusive thought is something you don’t put there yourself! Which makes me feel even worse because I’ve purposely thought some really nasty stuff just trying to judge how it makes me feel ! Sometimes I even find myself daydreaming something really odd then I catch myself and freak out why was I thinking that ! But on the whole most give good advice on here and I think that they would all say it’s just ocd ! But for me ocd is so complex as I spend more time feeling guilty than I do obsessing over the original intrusive thoughts

I’m lucky in the fact other peoples mistakes don’t bother me (just my own )but I can imagine for a woman with hair it would be really distressing! It’s so hard because I can’t find a way around this hence why I’m following this post !

Yeah I can imagine hairdressing would be the same !! A week before Xmas I rebuilt our front garden wall! 2 days before Xmas I noticed something I was not happy with but was to late to change with out redoing the lot! Completely ruined my Xmas ! On top of that was this massive frustration because I couldn’t help thinking I’m probably the only person to have Xmas ruined over a brick! But it’s like this unbelievable pressure in my head that somethings not right! What makes it even worse it’s still the same but no longer bothering me! Probably because a million other things has taken its place since ! I hope you find some peace soon