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  1. I know I'm not on here as often as I probably should be, but just wanted to give another update i think its good while since Ive been on the forums and posted. The last year has been much better ive moved away from the four steps and have fred penzels 10 things you need to know stuck up on my bed room wall. I deal with OCD in my own way after 22 yrs of it I think you have to. I did have a great start which then lapsed where studpily i let a thought in and it grew. Ive learned I must not let any thought fester now and its working, my brain deffinately feels stronger. Still sometimes specially at night I get stuck and feel i must repeat my steps or think something away but its better. I dont think it will ever leave me 100% but now I live my life with OCD second. Its actually amazed me how much space OCD took up in my brain, I find myself sometimes not knowing how to think or feel because it was such a big part of me. But getting there one day at a time Hope you are all doing as well as you can
  2. i found before my wedding was difficult as already said others stressing, you stressing etc, the actual day I dint have much trouble at all until the evening when tired, because so much was going on, Id suggest taking lots of you time when you can relax and do some nice things and I bet yuor day will be wonderful and you will enjoy it
  3. Hi Jenn, I've never taken meds only ever st johns wort, but I did find when I stopped them last year ( I felt strong enough) that OCD got alot worse, so went back on them again, to me it seems OCD will take a long time to get sorted to the point where I can ignore it completely so Im thinking its better to be doing well with the help than struggling without. How long have you been back on the meds? are they the same ones as before if not maybe they arent suiting you? I always point people to Fred Penzels articles, I dont know if this will help you but I find on my lowest days reading these gives me a sense of renewal and ability to fight my OCD and feel brighter http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/articles.html hope it helps a little
  4. OCD has got me into trouble and harmed other things in my life because of compulsions, mostly missing work or being late or distant and not doing so well. Ive also thrown things away and damaged things on purpose because of it.
  5. I have a similar issue, in that Ill do well for a while then suddenly it seems to get worse. But I now know that its got worse because Ive engaged a single thought, somewhere in that day Ive listened to something I shouldnt have. I never realised how difficult it was to ignore these thoughts and how tiring it is. Just try to remember that it is OCD and your not a bad person and remember the more we try to not think about something the more we do.
  6. HI Stacey As fefee says you have alot going on, stress is terrible for heightening OCD , Ive been to the 80% place a couple of times now and cant seem to get that 100% yet, doing lots of things to relax yourself and trying to take some time out for yourself might help, also do you have a friend/family member to talk to, I find this really helps if I talk things over with my husband, he knows all the thoughts I have and will just remind me about what I should be doing to take the further steps forward. I hope you feel better soon and dont feel bad about leaving school, you have lots of time to be able to sort things like that out
  7. Hiya I did get this an awful lot when my OCD got worse, id see a spec of dust and think it was something else, or feel something and think it was related to the thought, I think all it was that my brain was putting all these things together and giving them meaning when there wasn't any, like a heightened sense if you like, normally we wouldn't even notice an itch, or that speck of dust floating off the window. It did die down alot when starting to work on OCD, sometimes i think it now but mostly its gone away.
  8. yep I have magical thinking OCD which manifests in compulsions legend has posted a brilliant link, I can say even though as scary as all those thoughts felt, real, nothing ever happened if I moved on and ignored them. I would agree though it does seem a more rare form of OCD, when I read alot of the books i dont find much relating to magical thinking
  9. yeah it happens and its so annoying, i think all you can do is take your mind of it doing something else and just be mindful of what happened and in time itll become less
  10. Been having a bad time this week, my husband is on some new anti depressants that have made him act odd but thankfully thats settling now after a couple of weeks, he isnt working, we cant pay the bills and the companies are not being helpful, so as hard as ive worked today had a little relapse, but as i managed to kick my self up the proverbial and walk away, i realised how 'safe' OCD felt, it was familiar and easier to worry about that than all the things I really couldnt change, in a way it made me realise more why it got so bad and how Id used it almost to have a false sense of control over everything. Well needed to write that out, and back to normal kicking butt tonight, this is a long long journey and some days it feels as difficult as the day I started
  11. ohh yes mine do, they sense me getting stressed and get upset dogs more than the cats, I have a horse he would notice if I was having a hard time and come over to me and stand in front of me, once he stood slap bang where i was trying to walk and nuzzled me, was deffinately comforting and pulled me out of my ritual.
  12. Ive had OCD for coming up 22 years now, like yours it changed once id got my head around one thing another would appear, something far more scary than the last. I think the longer you suffer the more you think about it and the more it changes I could think and do OCD rituals without even realising it until i walk away and think 'damn shouldnt have done that, almost trance like' not sure if thats what you mean?
  13. Ive taken st johns wort for many years on and off for OCD, its brilliant, im not sure it is much good on anxiety but it does lessen the amount of thoughts i get to the point where i know if ive stopped taking it.
  14. when i first started dealing with OCD yes but id say now 4 months down the line now the anxiety has gone I dont get those down days, i think sometimes we all get them specially women, It may well be different for everyone though
  15. Interesting about Leonardo Legend, it does seem that we can change our brains but that we really need solid information to go about it, because otherwise its so easy to doubt ourselves. But I am sure as time goes on even more so now that we can 'cure' ourselves although i suppose if you look at it where some days we need to put what weve learned into practice i.s cbt methods etc it is more control, but Im leaning towards the other at the minute simply because its getting easier as time gets on
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