Jump to content

Smacking


Guest Laurawin

Recommended Posts

Guest Laurawin

I know this is a touchy subject but I just wanted everybody opinion.

I don't usually spank my children unless it is absolutely necessary. Well tonight was the first time in a long time and a first since my ocd. If you have read my post you know I fear harming my kids. I have been letting them get away with stuff because I am afraid of losing control.

Anyhoo, right after I spanked my little girl my ocd popped up and told me that I like to hurt her like that. It really scared me. I know I don't like to do that and it is ocd but what happens the next time this happens. I would rather I never had to do it again but if I ever have to I am scared to do it.

I also checked her out to make sure I didn't hurt her and kept questioning her if she was alright. Which she said she was and gave me a hug.

I am just scared about when I get mad or aggrivated that I am going to snap.

Any input on this subject?

P.S. I know there is people who don't agree with this so negative feedback is expected so don't worry about offending me.

Laura xx

Link to comment
Guest jessica

hi there,

i thought i'd let you know that i have thougfhts like this, the fear of acting out my thoughts when i get angry. even though i have no children mine are usually directed at my boyfriend or nephew. i get worried i will hurt him if i can't stand his crying. but when it happens i just want to cuddle him as i'm sure you do with your children. i can't comment on smacking being the right thing or not but i'm sure you will not go over your bounderies. no matter what OCD makes you think you are always in controll of your actions, unfortunatly not our thoughts.

it's just another thought, (wish i could tell myself that)

take care

Link to comment
Guest twoshoes

The Psych who helped me the most told me that OCD will never make you do something that you are not capable of.

You care for your children and so OCD won't make you hurt them.

Guilt seems to be what you sign up for the moment you find out you are expecting and OCD just grabs onto that in an attempt to control.

i suffer terrible with mood swing partly due to hormones partly due to high leves of anxeity. I have a 3 yr old who just pushes my buttons constantly. I don't smack for fear of losing control aswell. If it helps we use the time out in a boring place (for him not me :blushing: ) i go into another room an take a minute to chill out (I use techniques taught by my hypnotherapist/NLP practitioner) then I go back for round 2

:wallbash:

I find that when he really needs a short sharp shock just to get him to focus on me and what I am saying i will slap the back of his hand(I have done this 4 times...and never before he turned 3) I use this when he is uncontrolable or doing something dangerous and I need him to STOP!

i worry most about him and my OCD tells me I am a bad mother and i will scald him, burn him, poison him etc to the point I was frightened to be alone with him for fear of what I might do. i still fear doing it but I don't let it stop me enjoying him, I just ride out the anxiety and tell my self that I am not capable of it.

Take care

Link to comment
Guest Laurawin

The Psych who helped me the most told me that OCD will never make you do something that you are not capable of.

You care for your children and so OCD won't make you hurt them.

Guilt seems to be what you sign up for the moment you find out you are expecting and OCD just grabs onto that in an attempt to control.

i suffer terrible with mood swing partly due to hormones partly due to high leves of anxeity. I have a 3 yr old who just pushes my buttons constantly. I don't smack for fear of losing control aswell. If it helps we use the time out in a boring place (for him not me :blushing: ) i go into another room an take a minute to chill out (I use techniques taught by my hypnotherapist/NLP practitioner) then I go back for round 2

:wallbash:

I find that when he really needs a short sharp shock just to get him to focus on me and what I am saying i will slap the back of his hand(I have done this 4 times...and never before he turned 3) I use this when he is uncontrolable or doing something dangerous and I need him to STOP!

i worry most about him and my OCD tells me I am a bad mother and i will scald him, burn him, poison him etc to the point I was frightened to be alone with him for fear of what I might do. i still fear doing it but I don't let it stop me enjoying him, I just ride out the anxiety and tell my self that I am not capable of it.

Take care

Thank you so much for your reply. I have gotten better about being with my kids also and hope it gets better. It is nice to no other ways to handle it. I will try the hand smacking instead it sounds like a great alternative.

Thanks everybody for the nice things you all said. I don't know what I would do without you.

Laura xx

Link to comment
Guest Dimphy

As a mother of a very active and spontaneous 4 1/2 year old I too am struggling with keeping in control when the child tests my patience.

But I've been watching Supernanny Jo and the other versions of her and I find their disciplinary tactics very benificial!

I smack my child sometimes but feel so guilty because I don't see supernannies smacking. Instead, they tell you to create a "naughty spot/corner" and put them on it, one minute for their age. My little fellow sits on the bottom of the stairs for 4 1/2 minute and he hates it! He thinks twice before he does the bold thing again!

Also, I made up a "good behaviour chart", a railway track painted on a big paper with Thomas the Tankengine pinned onto one of the ten beams on the track which goes up or down according to his behaviour.

When he gets to the top he gets a reward for being so good.

It sounds like a lot of work but it pays of!

The child thrives on knowing his boundaries, and for yourself.. you can respect yourself more for not losing control over your anger.

Good luck Laurawin!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...