ive had enough

[Guest Green eyes]

hi all, i just cant take this pain anymore,it's late afternoon, and ive only got a fleece top on, i cant put my clothes on as it takes too long, im so very tired of this life,i'm on medication for this illiness,i didnt want to take it in the first place,ine had ocd for over 20 years,and i have'nt got the fight any longer,these things in my head are driving me crazy, there saying that the onlyway is to kill myself,i hap pills in my hand a minute ao,but i cant do it,im not scared of dying anymore, im so sorry guys ijust dont jnow who to turn toany more, it's winning and im letting it, im on my own as i cant be near anyone, i will hurt them,im so confused,enough is enough....

[Guest Squigglepoxy]

Hiya Green eyes

Please, pelase hang on in there. I too have had OCD for over twenty years and I know things are tough, believe me. I wished I was there to talk to you now, as I now how filled with muck how heads can become, how any slight action inlvolves an insurmountable amount of will and ffort to complete, how it just piles up until you can't do anything. But you must try. Please.

I send you all my hope and love that things get better.

John

[Rachie]

Hi Green Eyes,

John is right - please hang on. We all understand what you are going through so please keep talking to us and we'll help you as best as we can.

If you are worried about hurting yourself or feel you can't cope with the thoughts, please contact one of the following straightaway for some help:

Otherwise make an emergency appointment with your GP, or go to your local hospital and someone will see you there.

Please let us know you're all right.

Sending you lots of positive vibes and wishes,

Rach xx

(All open 24/7 unless stated otherwise)

Nhs Direct-0845 46 47

Nhs 24 Scotland-08454 24 24 24

Nhs Wales-0845 46 47

No panic-0808 808 0545 (10am-10pm Everyday of the Year) (including Bank Holidays)

To call No panic from outside the UK- Phone 0044 1952 590545

Samaritans-08457 90 90 90 (The samaritans can also be contacted via email jo@samaritans.org ,they aim to respond to all emails within 24 hours and all emails are signed off by "jo")

Saneline-0845 767 8000 (Mon-Fri 12noon-11pm) (Sat+Sun 12noon-6pm)

[Guest ca02049]

hi all, i just cant take this pain anymore,it's late afternoon, and ive only got a fleece top on, i cant put my clothes on as it takes too long, im so very tired of this life,i'm on medication for this illiness,i didnt want to take it in the first place,ine had ocd for over 20 years,and i have'nt got the fight any longer,these things in my head are driving me crazy, there saying that the onlyway is to kill myself,i hap pills in my hand a minute ao,but i cant do it,im not scared of dying anymore, im so sorry guys ijust dont jnow who to turn toany more, it's winning and im letting it, im on my own as i cant be near anyone, i will hurt them,im so confused,enough is enough....

Im almost in tears reading this, i'm so sorry you feel so awful. I promise things will get better, we do have good days and bad days and bad days really are hidious but yet there is so much more out there to help you. Suicide is not a solution to your upset, just think of those around you who love you and would be devistated. Please talk to somebody, even if its just on here. Many people know what you are going through and what a torture OCD can be but things can get better. Please be strong.

You wont hurt anybody i PROMISE, its nasty OCD telling you that. Please stay strong.

[Caramoole]

Hi Green Eyes,

Just wondered how you're doing?

I know that somedays seem completely insurmountable, but we do get through, hang in there and let us know how you're feeling.

Caramoole

[Guest Squigglepoxy]

Hi all

Has anyone heard from Green Eyes?0 She last a message on here yesterday that she couldn't go on anymore. She's been on my mind since then and I see she hasn't replied to her post. I am a bit worried and could do with someone putting my mind at reast, or even better, if you know her well, maybe you could contact her.

Thanks.

John

[Guest ca02049]

Hi all

Has anyone heard from Green Eyes?0 She last a message on here yesterday that she couldn't go on anymore. She's been on my mind since then and I see she hasn't replied to her post. I am a bit worried and could do with someone putting my mind at reast, or even better, if you know her well, maybe you could contact her.

Thanks.

John

I too have been worrying about her today.

[Guest Squigglepoxy]

I really hope she's okay. I need to log off in a moment, but will try again later to see if there is any news.

[Guest rainbow]

hi all, i just cant take this pain anymore,it's late afternoon, and ive only got a fleece top on, i cant put my clothes on as it takes too long, im so very tired of this life,i'm on medication for this illiness,i didnt want to take it in the first place,ine had ocd for over 20 years,and i have'nt got the fight any longer,these things in my head are driving me crazy, there saying that the onlyway is to kill myself,i hap pills in my hand a minute ao,but i cant do it,im not scared of dying anymore, im so sorry guys ijust dont jnow who to turn toany more, it's winning and im letting it, im on my own as i cant be near anyone, i will hurt them,im so confused,enough is enough....

Dear Green eyes

I am sending you lots of love and hugs

Please please dont give up! you will come out of this dark place you will see the sun shine again and you will be at peace in this life! There is a way out, its just some days are so very very hard, and you think things will never get better, but they can, and they do! You will find the inner strenght to fight this, you are stonger than this ocd, you are here talking to us! that tells me you are strong you just need all of us to give you a hand and to hold you up while you are in this hour of need. We will pull toghter to help you and we are all here for you get busy typing please!!

I have been so low and been there and I found the samaritains so very very helpful, just to talk to you and help you in you hour of need can do so much for you. get typing get ringing please

dont dont give up you can beat this

take care love and hugs and sending you the sweetest rainbow xxx

[Guest brennie]

Hia rach, is there any way we can find out if greeneyes is o.k.please,she said she was on her own !! Brennie

[Guest ca02049]

hia rach, is there any way we can find out if greeneyes is o.k.please,she said she was on her own !! Brennie

I agree, i've been worried about her the last couple of days.

[Rachie]

Hi there everyone,

I understand that people are concerned about GreenEyes given how down she felt in her original post to us. I am sure we can all relate to those dark days that OCD can bring.

Please rest assured that the moderating team are working together to contact GreenEyes.

We are also concerned about our other board members and the anxiety that this may be causing them so we ask that you trust the team to do all they can and not allow this to have a detrimental effect on your own personal health.

Cheers,

Rach x

[Guest ca02049]

Hi there everyone,

I understand that people are concerned about GreenEyes given how down she felt in her original post to us. I am sure we can all relate to those dark days that OCD can bring.

Please rest assured that the moderating team are working together to contact GreenEyes.

We are also concerned about our other board members and the anxiety that this may be causing them so we ask that you trust the team to do all they can and not allow this to have a detrimental effect on your own personal health.

Cheers,

Rach x

Thanks for the post Rach, think your a fantastic moderating team. Please do let us know how she is though if you can. Thanks again for all your support - you are a fantastic team

CA

[Rachie]

Hi - just need to point out that we're not able to actually contact Green Eyes other than through the boards but I have attempted this so will let you know if I hear from her.

In the meantime, please try not to worry. There are a million reasons why people don't post for days at a time.

Cheers,

Rachel x

[Guest ca02049]

Hi - just need to point out that we're not able to actually contact Green Eyes other than through the boards but I have attempted this so will let you know if I hear from her.

In the meantime, please try not to worry. There are a million reasons why people don't post for days at a time.

Cheers,

Rachel x

Isn't somebody able to call her? wouldn't she have to put other contact details when she registered?

Thanks Rachel, i'm sorry if i'm going on but its so sad to think of somebody in such despair on her own. I know you will do all you can . Thanks always.

[Ashley]

Isn't somebody able to call her? wouldn't she have to put other contact details when she registered?

Even if she had supplied her number (which is not a pre-requisite of the board anyway) we would not call her without her permission.

One of the reasons people use this board is because of the anonymity behind the usernames, so we cant break that by calling, even if we really want to I am afraid.

[Guest ca02049]

Even if she had supplied her number (which is not a pre-requisite of the board anyway) we would not call her without her permission.

One of the reasons people use this board is because of the anonymity behind the usernames, so we cant break that by calling, even if we really want to.

I understand, it just heartbreaking to know how bad somebody is feeling and not be able to help in any way. I completely understand though and think you offer a brilliant service and completely agree with what you have said.

Thanks again for everything you do. Sorry if i've been a pain.

[Ashley]

Sorry if i've been a pain.

Not at all, it shows you care and I am glad people on here care for each other.

Over the years both before we set OCD-UK up when I used to manage the then very busy OCD Action forums and now the even busier OCD-UK forums I have become friends with and lost touch with hundreds of people. Some of whom were doing ok OCD wise, others were struggling but they simply disappear from radar overnight it seems.

I simply have to tell myself that they were passing through the forums for a while and their life has moved on and they no longer need us because things improved for them.

Hopefully Greeneyes will log on at some point, if not I am sure she is ok

[Guest Laurawin]

I was just worried about Green eyes and wondered if anybody had heard anything from her. I hope she is ok.

[Ashley]

I was just worried about Green eyes and wondered if anybody had heard anything from her. I hope she is ok.

Her profile shows last online: Yesterday, 11:13 AM

[Guest Laurawin]

Her profile shows last online: Yesterday, 11:13 AM

Thanks alot for letting me know Ashley! I was really worried.

Laura xx

[Guest mandy]

ive just read green eyes post has anyone heard from her ?

[Guest Green eyes]

SORRY,SORRY,SORRY,SORRY!!!!!!!!........

It's green eyes here,sorry for worrying you all,and thank you all for your concern....

I'm still feeling the same,i hope that i didnt upset you all to much ....

I know, you all know what it's like to suffer this illiness, i dont want to add to your struggle....

ocd and my dark, low mood is really taking hold of me,i worry that my will to live is so low that i want to give up,Ive never been this low,i worry that i want to do these things in my head,is that ocd????....

I was in hosp with this,came out 2 months ago and ive been back to my doc over and over about getting help,but she just keeps saying there's a long wait,i know there's so many other people who need help out there, but i do too, i know that sounds so selfish, im in a place where i want to crawl out of my skin,that there's nothing more for me than this hell,sorry i'm going on again!!!!....

I just dont know what to do with myself any longer....

I get no restbite from the thoughts,there like metal spikes that jab and poke ny head....

xx xx xx xx

[Guest Jinxed33]

Green Eyes,

I am glad you are still here, we have spoken before in the past, I do know what you are going through and we are all here for you. Please please look after yourself.

Lots of hugs :group:

Jinxed

xxx

[Caramoole]

Hi Green Eyes

Nice to see you and I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so low.

i worry that i want to do these things in my head,is that ocd????....

Yes, it is...normally reassurance doesn't help that much with OCD but sometimes for a while we need a little bit of extra support.

All of these awful thoughts are OCD, they aren't real, they aren't dangerous and they aren't you, remember that. That's something that you really have to try and believe and hang onto. An added complication is that you are obviously feeling very depressed because of how you're feeling.

I also have had those awful Pure 'O' thoughts, I've believed myself (at times) as being the most awful, insane person to inhabit the planet. I've had times in the past where even being left alone in a room was extremely difficult......BUT I got past it.

What help did you get in hospital and did it help? Did they give you any information about what you should do if you felt bad when discharged, any contacts or support teams? Was your medication or dosage changed and has it helped or made you feel worse?

I don't know your home situation but do you have family around or anyone you can talk to?

These suicidal feelings are because you're feeling so low, what you really want is to feel better which is quite different.

If you don't feel your Doctor's helping, you have to tell her you can't cope and need help now, I know it's hard when you're not feeling assertive.

In the meantime keep talking here, even if we can't make it go away, we can offer you support, encouragement and a listening ear.

You're amongst friends who at least truly understand the depths of your despair, I know that you can get past this.

You Take Care

Caramoole