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In this months Top Sante magazine, there's quite a lengthy article about SH, about a sufferer who managed to stop and coping strategies etc.

I tracked down a copy of this today and have read the article, thought it was good, so thanks Queenie! :thumbup:

Cool. So great. New style Northern Star..  ;)

Are you sure it was just a new hair style you got the other day  :)

Hehe...I hope not! I think it's been a week now since the last SH although to be honest the urge hasn't been there really that strong recently, only one or maybe two times. The real test will be when the urge is so strong, almost overpowering.

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Not had any urges to self-harm for quite a while now. I'm now 9 (or is it 8? I can't remember  :thumbup: ) days free of self-harm, fingers crossed it continues :D.

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Oh mate i am so chuffed for youxxFingers crossed from me too shug, you are doing fantastic:)xx

So pleasedxx

Love bluexx

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Oh, struggling a bit :thumbdown:. I have exams in January and I have so much work to do for them. I don't even know if I'm dropping one of my subjects yet - it would make sense to because I'm doing 4 instead of 3 and it would take some pressure off, especially since it's the subject I'm worst at and so have to do most work for. I'll have to sort out all my files etc too because they're not very organised and plus I'm still missing some notes for a few subjects from when I was in hospital and also from a few weeks ago when I missed a few days because of that interview. Also (in my rant, sorry!) I don't want my mum to go back. When she doesn't drink too much (in my opinion) then it's so lovely having her around. She's gonna be home for another 8 or 9 days I think. This is the 2nd longest time I've spent with her all year and I just know I'm gonna get used to having her around and when she goes back.... :xmas_sad: To be honest, I don't see the not-selfharming lasting much into January :( :( :(

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Hi NS

OK, you recognised yourself that it was gonna get a little harder. This is just one of those times. If you can get through this one, you can tackle the next one......It's hard, yes. But it's worth the effort. Keep trying, young one.

If you can drop one of those 4 subjects to make life a little less stressful for yourself I'd say go for it and drop it. That's my opinion, based a little on experience. It's all very well setting yourself challenges but sometimes a challenge can be a challenge too far. You need to be fighting your Self-Harm, not fighting to do 4 A-Levels when 3 will do perfectly well......

Sorry for popping up into this thread but I saw you had posted a short time ago.

P.S. Like the new hair colour!

Take care.

Stephen

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Dropping a subject could be the best decision you have ever made. I've done lots of exams in my time including a masters degree and yet out of all of them, I still maintain A'levels were the most demanding. The sheer volume of work you have to absorb is incredible. If you only need 3 good grades then common sense would say concentrate your enegies on just 3 subjects. You'll have a far better chance of getting the grades you need.

One thing you must never do is underestimate the power of OCD and the amount of energy it drains from you :thumbdown: . It's probably like adding a further 2 A'levels to your quota :xmas_sad: . I do understand you have been struggling, but I also sensed clearer thinking in your last post......you've identified a lot of your practical problems and also what you need to do to sort them out. A little pat on the back for that NS :tongue:

Re your mum, well that's really tricky. Do you talk to her about how you feel and that you miss her very much. God I used to get in a state if my mum was simply out for an hour when I got in! I think this could be a stress factor which plays quite a part in your compulsion to self harm. Far be it for me to set your agenda with your therapist, but I wondered if it was somthing you'd be able to talk to him about?

There are lots of things going on with you just at the moment.......OCD........A'levels.......therapy.......mum being home/going away. You are doing very well to identify all these things and deal with them and it's no wonder you are feeling like you are struggling.

To summarise, maybe you could think about talking to your mum and/or therapist about your mum going away so much, and definately consider dropping one of your A'levels on the grounds that it will substantially help you achieve better grades in those that you continue.

Catherine :(

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Guest vanillablini

Hi Northern Star :thumbdown:

The others have written wonderful replies, they have expressed what went through my mind and much more.

So there is little that I can add, just meant to echo that I also think that it's about managing your school situation in a wise way, by dropping a subject for example, and to look carefully where you are about to load up on new work and about opening up when something is troubling or hurting you.

Just talking about it with friends can help, getting a hug and support, and your friends here on the board always offer such precious suggestions too and caring support and are really there for you.

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Guest Elisabeth

hi...

I don't know if this will help but sometimes if I want to hurt myself I do something positive that will help others like putting a bit of money asside for charity or helping somebody and this distracts me and makes me feel better about myself. I hope things are going ok for you :)

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Guest Chrystal

Hi Elisabeth,

How can distracting yourself by doing something other than SH stop the nagging feeling. When I have intrusive or bad thughts, i bang my head against the wall as if to bang the thoughts out of my head.

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Guest Elisabeth

Hi...

Sorry it might not work, it just sometimes diverts my attention so i'm thinking about other things until the urge to self harm goes down a bit. I don't know, sorry if it doesn't work it doesn't always with me. Sorry if this doesn't make sense- i'm not very good at putting things how i want them :)

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Hi Elisabeth and Chrystal,

Sorry it might not work, it just sometimes diverts my attention so i'm thinking about other things until the urge to self harm goes down a bit. I don't know, sorry if it doesn't work it doesn't always with me.

I think this is a really good idea :) :) . Distraction is a very good way of avoiding self-harming and if you can keep distracted for a while then you will hopefully find that the urge to self-harm goes down after a bit. Like for Elisabeth it doesn't always work for me either but it does sometimes and that's very important. There are loads of things that you can use for distraction - different things work for different people. Things that I have found especially useful for me are to talk to people when I get the urge to self-harm, and to play piano etc. Tonight I felt a little bit like self-harming, not as strong an urge as it can be, and I finished watching the programme I was watching, text a friend and then came on here. I find that the board can be a very good place to keep my mind off self-harm when I get the urge to self-harm.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey all

*This post contains possible triggers - please don't read on if you think you will be affected*

I really hope no-one minds me butting in on this thread :wallbash: .

I'm really really annoyed with myself. Earlier on today I SH'd while I was at college and I've got the urge to do it again now.

I usually (I'm ashamed and embarrased to admit) SH by witholding food/drink from myself (my regular way of harming) or by taking painkillers when I don't really need them (though haven't done this for a while now).

I've recently started to dig my nails into my arms. I don't draw blood, I just do it enough to give me some temporary pain relief. Today when I did it I broke the skin and it's all red and sore, now. I didn't mean to go that far, but I did.

I'm tired now, I've been having horrid vivid dreams which scare me and upset me, I'm frightened to sleep tonight and I think it's making me want to SH more.

What am I going to do? I've got a responsibility to look after myself, I've made a promise tonight that I would. I need to be strong for my family atm. My mum came home from hospital today after seeing my grandma and told me I was the only person she could talk to, she offloaded her problems and said she felt better (I have no problem with this - I'm glad she feels she can talk to me) but I didn't feel better, I felt worse, and I know that makes me sound horrible - I don't mean to be - but I just feel as though I can't cope at the moment. I'm sorry to ramble on. I just don't know what to do.

I'm really sorry also for hijacking the thread, too.

from a very tired and confused Queenie

x

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Hiya Queenie :)

First of all I'm gonna tell you off for this...

I'm really sorry also for hijacking the thread, too.

:) no need to apologise, OK? So let's have no more of that please ^^ :D

I'm really really annoyed with myself.  Earlier on today I SH'd while I was at college and I've got the urge to do it again now. 

:huh: I'm really sorry you SH-ed again :( hope you're feeling better now hun :hug: Sorry I wasn't around to help when you had the urge, hope you're ok.

I usually (I'm ashamed and embarrased to admit) SH by witholding food/drink from myself (my regular way of harming) or by taking painkillers when I don't really need them (though haven't done this for a while now). 

I've recently started to dig my nails into my arms.  I don't draw blood, I just do it enough to give me some temporary pain relief.  Today when I did it I broke the skin and it's all red and sore, now.  I didn't mean to go that far, but I did. 

Queenie, are you getting any help for SH? I don't want to speak out of turn but I think that you could really do with some help and support to help you through this, because you can get through this, I know it :).

I'm tired now, I've been having horrid vivid dreams which scare me and upset me, I'm frightened to sleep tonight and I think it's making me want to SH more. 

I find that when I'm tired I generally feel worse, more like SH-ing, more depressed etc etc.

What am I going to do? I've got a responsibility to look after myself, I've made a promise tonight that I would.  I need to be strong for my family atm.  My mum came home from hospital today after seeing my grandma and told me I was the only person she could talk to, she offloaded her problems and said she felt better (I have no problem with this - I'm glad she feels she can talk to me) but I didn't feel better, I felt worse, and I know that makes me sound horrible - I don't mean to be - but I just feel as though I can't cope at the moment.

Is there anyone you can offload to? It's great that you're there for your mum but you need to look after yourself too.

Sending you lots of hugs and wishing you strength to get through this :)

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Hi Queenie

Just want to say I too understand about depriving yourself of food/drink and it's a pig isn't it :(

So............ :bangin: ........for doing it :huh:

And........... :group: ........because we all care about you and you are important to us

Catherine :)

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NS and Catherine

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I really appreciate it.

I haven't SH'd since Monday now. Just in the last few hours or so it's come back again - and while I think I'm pretty much strong enough to resist it right now, I think I'm gonna have to cut my fingernails right down to stop me being tempted as a safety measure. I think it's because I'm tired again, and have had a stressful day which in the end wasn't stressful (if you get me :help: ) and I have an excess amount of grrr'ness inside me which needs an outlet.

Queenie, are you getting any help for SH? I don't want to speak out of turn but I think that you could really do with some help and support to help you through this, because you can get through this, I know it

You're not speaking out of turn, chick. I've got one really close friend who I talk to about it. So that helps a lot - but you know it is when the feeling is lodged in your brain...nothing will shift it...

Just want to say I too understand about depriving yourself of food/drink and it's a pig isn't it 

So............  ........for doing it 

And...........  ........because we all care about you and you are important to us

Thank you! It's the piggiest, most horrid thing ever (well after brussel sprouts and watching Paul Daniels on the TV :group: ). I think I'm eating ok-ish atm - didn't too too well earlier on in the day, but have made up for it a bit this evening.

It's something that's crept up on me slowly again. I defeated it a few years ago and it's just snuck back in over the last year or so.

Thank you for saying you care. It's strange, but I really do find it hard to accept that anyone would care about me. I find it so hard to care about myself!

Anyway, thank you to you both for your support and friendship. You're fab!

Lots of love from

Queenie

xxmwahxx!!

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Thanks, Ittyk :group: .

Unfortunately - I did it again last night, after swearing I wouldn't :) . My arm seems to be just a bit red this morning, though I did manage to break the skin again. I think I was over tired last night though, which never helps.

But thank you again for your reply, chick. It means a lot :huh:

Love Q

xx

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Guest Dragonfruit

Awwwww Queenie

I'd PM'd you before I saw this.

Sorry you were feeling so bad again.

Keep fighting the urges - you can do it

Sending you heaps of :)

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Thanks, Ittyk :)

Unfortunately - I did it again last night, after swearing I wouldn't :( . My arm seems to be just a bit red this morning, though I did manage to break the skin again.  I think I was over tired last night though, which never helps. 

But thank you again for your reply, chick.  It means a lot :(

Love Q

xx

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Take care Queenie :( ,being over tired wont have helped,just try and get as much rest as you can and remember small steps at a time :D .We will support you through this!!! :)

love ittykxxx :(

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Thanks Catherine and Ittyk! :)

Almost 36 hours without SH!!! and I thought about it last night, but didn't. I curled up in bed with a good book instead! (and I'm also a poet and I didn't know it :) )

:)

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Quick update!

Felt the urge last night to SH. Decided to cut my fingernails off instead. It worked and I didn't SH!

However, have been feeling a bit ragey the last few days as well, and have been doing stuff like kicking the bannisters on the stairs and also deliberately kicked the fireplace surround (good job it's made of stone, lol). I did have shoes on and so didn't hurt my feet and didn't do any damage to anything.

It did help, but I am aware that this is NOT a good idea long term either - just a quick fix to get rid of some pent up rage.

At least I didn't break my skin, and I see that very much as a positive :crybaby:

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Guest Automated Alice

Queenie

Im so glad you didnt self harm. (hugs)

If its any consolation, I whack the hell out of the settee with a sturdy vase i have when I get angry :grin: (usually pretending its Keiths head lol :crybaby: ) It works to get out some of the pent up frustation

alice xx :D

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Well, I did it again last night. No excuse for it either, and it seems cutting my nails off didn't do much good. I just have the tiniest of raised red marks on my right arm now. I'm ok today. Not feeling too bad. But I think that I'm starting to realise that all of my problems are associated with my family...(wow, 'huge newsflash' I hear you cry). You can't live with 'em - and you can't live without 'em. Ho-hum.

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Please try not to beat yourself up over it Queenie, it's a blip and you can get over this :hug:. Can't talk for long now but will try to pop on later to say something more encouraging. Go and enjoy the evening, curl up with a good book, some yummy food and a cat :lol:. Hugs

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I feel like I'm butting in on this thread so apologies :D. I SH-ed last night :) Iwas just so unhappy with myself and so I thought it might make me feel better. I didn't cut as deeply as I wanted to either :( although I suppose that should really be :( because it's probably a good thing.

P.S. my top tip that I have been given today is apparently that instead of cutting with a knife/glass you should use a paper clip that you straighten out as apparently that does less harm. Just something I was told, don't know if it'll be useful to anyone or not.

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