Bad Night With OCD And Depression

[Guest Dippy]

They are 11 and 9. They are both ok now, sat next to me watching The Simpsons.

I'm exhausted. When i'm home they both take up alot of my time but I want to be there for them.

[Guest hayley73]

I bet you are exhausted. kids are exhausting - without everything else you are dealing with. How is your parents and you sister's partner doing in all this?

[Guest Dippy]

Their showing more emotion then me.

[Guest hayley73]

Remeber you are entitled to show of emotion too.

[Guest Dippy]

I'm too scared to show emotion. I'm scared if I start I won't stop.

[Guest hayley73]

I know its scary sometimes letting go. But its healthier for you in the long run. Maybe after the funeral you will be able to let your guard down a bit? No one is gonna judge you for showing emotion.

[Guest Dippy]

I really don't think I can let my guard down at all? I'll fall to pieces.

[Guest hayley73]

Dippy I do feel for you. Wish there was something I could do or say. I will probably have to go off line soon. I'm here by myself and the baby is wanting some attention.

Perhaps just say to someone, 'look I might look as if I'm coping, but inside I'm falling apart'. It might help just voicing how you are feeling.

[Guest FobicFairy]

Hi Dippy,

Sorry to hear about your loss, all this on top of OCD must be so hard, please try to be open about how you feel with people, I know they find it hard and don't know what to say, but real friends will stand by you anyway.

We all have our own way of coping with grief, maybe you will be able to show more emotion once the funeral is over and everything is sorted out. I should think you are too busy with coping with all the practical stuff right now to let go. Sometimes it takes a while to take it all in properly as well, but it will come out when you are ready.

I've only just got round to reading your thread, I've been dashing in and out only reading the odd link lately, so apologies for not responding sooner. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

FobicFairy

[Guest Dippy]

I cried last night, not very much but I did shed a few tears.

[Guest FobicFairy]

Thats a start sweetie, it will come when its ready.

Hope you are coping ok. Keep us updated on how things are going.

FF x

[Guest Fallen Angel]

Hi,just to let you know your message box is full. I wanted to say that I hope all goes well today.Best wishes to you and your family.Love Sam. (P.S Sorry if my message last night was insensitive, about me having a good day,I forgot that today was the big day for you,Take care,Sam.X) :original:

[Guest Dippy]

Still haven't cried. Can't help but think it should be me and not her.

Sam, My inbox is not full anymore. PM'ed you. You weren't being insensitive.

[Guest hayley73]

Dippy hope you are ok. No it shouldn't be you. Please don't think like that.

[Guest Dippy]

I'm feeling very low at the moment. Don't feel myself at all. Maybe everything is just coming to head and I need to explode!