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AnxiousCarolyn

Sorry to offend any of you but i am dying

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:weep:

I have just researched through websites of my main worrying physcial illness. I know i have it but no one believes me. :weep:

I have the symptons and i had them b 4 i looked at the site. :weep:

The disease kills you in the end its not cureable. :weep:

I don't want 2 die i have a 15 month old daughter and i love her :weep:

So upset maybe i should finish myself off now b 4 this disease kills me.

Edited by Guest

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I don't want 2 die i have a 15 month old daughter and i love her :weep:

So upset maybe i should finish myself off now b 4 this disease kills me.

It is just your OCD talking Carolyn, but surely if you were dying you would want to spend every minute you have with your lovely daughter and partner?

I am afraid I am now banning all talk of people taking their own life, and this is not aimed just at you, at a number of users. All that happens by continuing to write such words down on here it simply reinforces the negative thinking which does not help you. If you do have those thoughts, think about all the positives in your life and there is no bigger positive than your daughter who you love and she loves you.

And of course I am sure it is not nice for your partner or friends to keep reading that you wish you could take your own life.

Your life is precious Carolyn and I want you to celebrate that.

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Carolyn,it is very important that you recognise your feelings as a mental illness.My gran was a very severe hypocondriac (Is that the right word?I think I spelt it wrong) Anyway,she convinced herself 100% that she had Cancer,Colon disease, You name it,she had it....Do you see what I`m saying? You ARE unwell with OCD. Everyone on this site is backing you.Focus on your kids.Grasp help and support from ANY available source you can,and don`t care about `annoying` people.I have read many of your posts on this site and you really do sound like a genuine,loving,kind and giving person and you deserve to feel secure and happy.Contact your GP and tell him that your mental state is in need of immediate attention.Don`t feel guilty,you have nothing to feel guilty about.If you are not happy with your GP,change them.You deserve the best help available and we are ALL rooting for you on here...Love and best wishes,Sam.XXX

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Carolyn, even the healthiest among society read diagnosis of illnesses and can identify with the symptoms, fearing they may have it.

With OCD sufferers it's almost guaranteed.

I think it most likely that this is the OCD/anxiety doing its deeds.

If you really have symptoms of an illness, don't self-diagnose, go and see your GP.

Caramoole

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I believe so much i have this horrible illness. I don't think many of you would of heard of Lupus? I believe i have it because i ache all over and have done for 2 days and nothing helps i also have felt tired for weeks despite 7 hrs sleep at night i also have problems with the cold i seem 2 suffer from all year round chilblains and any thing below about 12 degrees triggers them off i also feel nausea alot of the time. The lupus sites say the main 2 symptons are aching and tiredness and they are my main 2 symptons the lupus site says it usually occurs in women in there early 20's but any where between 15 and 55 i am 22 the lupus site says childbirth can trigger it off i have a 15 month old and have these symptons ages. Why would i not have this terrible illness all evidence suggests i do :weep:

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Why would i not have this terrible illness all evidence suggests i do :weep:

But it could be anything Carolyn, your OCD zaps your strength and it could be that its leaving you drained all the time, I am sure looking after a baby is hard work enough let alone with OCD so those two combined could be whats leaving you drained all the time.

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If you really have symptoms of an illness, don't self-diagnose, go and see your GP.

Absolutely. Modern medical practice makes it possible to test for the vast majority of physical illnesses; such a test could demonstrate to you that you will be able to share a full and fulfilling life with the daughter whom you love.

Scott

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I am a relative and not a sufferer, but I do know a little about lupus. Only the doctors can tell you if you are sick or not Carolyn. My mum is involved in another charity for a particular condition and people ring all the time asking her what the symptoms of the illness are, she tells them she cant tell them that because they will immediately believe they have it and the internet works in the same way.

A few years ago I was very tired and had terrible aching all over. I had a blood test for lupus and it turned out I had another condition caused by a common virus (I wont tell you which one), but I had a few tablets, was soon recovered and now it is in the dim and distant past. If you want to be sure you dont have lupus, ask the doctor for a blood test specifically for that. I know you dont find blood tests easy, but it would be worth it to put your mind at rest.

How lucky you are to have a beautiful baby and Im sure her mum will be around for a long long time yet :original:

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My gp thinks i am a joke just like everyone else. Any doctor only has 2 type my name on there records and it will show how many illness's i have thought i had. This time i really do believe it though i believe i have this Lupus illness. I ache all over yet i have taken painkillers that are suppose 2 help aches but it hasn't done but its not just 2 day i have felt ill for ages. Yeah i will make a docs app and i will have 2 wait 2-3 weeks and all i will get told is 2 stop obsessing NO DOCTOR will take me seriously.

Edited by Guest

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I am really sorry to hear about your GP Carolyn, but none of us think you are a joke, if we could possibly help we would.

You had blood tests before didnt you? They must have believed you then. I promise you painkillers didnt help me at all and I felt poorly for a long time, but it wasnt lupus, or anything else life threatening.

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They bascially said last time was the last time and they never believed i had any thing wrong they just did it 2 shut me up. I believe so much i have Lupus :weep:

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Guest legend

Sounds like me, you are just being neurotic!!! thats a part of ocd. Always looking for answers,is it this, is it that

is that the answer!! NO we have ocd it makes us neurotic and i suffer with every illness under the sun.

i like a drink everyday(2-3) now im a alcholic.I lose weight i have got cancer. I feel tired, im dying, no we are not, it is the brain/imp telling us otherwise. I no it is frustrating but try to keep going and do not let OCD beat you, you will get better and you are the best mum in the world XXXXXXX

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Guest Gryphon

Hi Carolyn,

Im really sorry to hear your feeling so low at the moment, hang in there, ride the storm im sure that whatever is going on at the moment, will pass and everything will be back to normal sooner than you think,

i know how hard it can be in the grips of ocd at times, but im sure its what it is and the more you feed it the more it will go on,

I would suggest if you havent already, go to the docs and get a test to see if you have anything else going on or you indeed have what you think you may have,

if your not happy seeing a particular doctor ask to see another one, anxiety will zap you phisycaly and mentally,

I think your in the loop my friend hang in there things will get better, dont let the ocd win,

Like legend has said your the best mum in the world

Take care

Edited by Guest

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Thank you all of you. This time feels different like last time and the time before but what if?

OCD plays on the 'what ifs' and there will be a million 'what if's', just try and tell yourself 'what if, I will worry about it when not if'.. eeer does that make sense? Does in my head when I typed it out :lol:

And try and enjoy yourself Carolyn, with your holidays and I believe you might be at the same wedding reception as myself next weekend? If so, go there that night and just ignore the 'what if's for the night and have a lovely time.

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Guest Gryphon

Carolyn

You will get to the wedding reception ! This will Pass!! your going to be fine!!

Positive positive positive

You will conquer we all do we are survivors, you are a good person,

Hang in there and have a drink for me at that wedding,

:a1_cheesygrin:

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I still ache and i am still so scared its lupus. I have taken over the limit of painkillers in 24hrs but i feel if i don't keep taking them i might feel the ache more and get even more anxious. I don't understand why i have ached for 3 days running and nothing could of triggered this. I don't understad why i always feel tired. I just know I have got lupus i know it and i can't see any other reason for feeling like this. My lupus worry has been going on for 6 months or so but only recently have i just been getting more and more symptons. I am making a doc's appointment but its going to be 3 weeks in that time how do i cope with this? what if i have got it i could get worse in that time? and when i go i can't just say "i am worried i have Lupus" she will laugh and i know she will just say its my eating disorder causin me 2 feel unwell but i am sick of that being used as an excuse for every physcial problem i get.

Edited by Guest

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Hi Carolyn, you need to get a GP appointment to talk about how you're feeling - does your surgery do on-the-day appointments so you could call first thing Monday and get one?

I know you feel rough and I'm in no position to say whether you have lupus or not, but as you say yourself you have believed you've had many illnesses in the past, so it does look as though you have a pattern of doing this. Hand on heart, do you really think you do have it? Wouldn't you go to hospital if you really felt you had a potentially life-threatening illness?

Try to use any techniques you can think of to calm down. If your symptoms are getting worse then do go to hospital, otherwise make an appointment with your GP for as soon as possible. As Ashley said, I wouldn't be surprised if having a baby to look after on top of all the stress from your OCD is making you feel so drained and achey. Maybe you're not sleeping well or sleeping in an uncomfortable position - this can cause aches. You might have a virus but if that is the case, it should be able to be treated fairly easily.

You've made some fantastic progress lately with the holiday - did you make a decision about the one in July by the way?

You said also that OCD always wins, but it doesn't - you enjoyed the holiday didn't you? And you've been doing really well with the making drinks - is that still going well?

Take care,

Rach xx

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Guest sam

I have a book called the family health book and if I actually read it and belived it I would have every illness known to man and would have died 10 times over. My point is babe that unless your GP has diagnosed you with any thing then you worry not through self diagnosis because if you start beliving in it then you will create symtoms and make yourself ill through doing this.

Take care.

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Hi Carolyn

Please stop worrying. I am currently undergoing tests for Lupus. I have had a postitve result for it. But it takes more than one postive result for it to be diagnosed. If I do have it, it has been found by accident. You see, I had a blood clot on my lung when I was pregnant. My son is now nearly 6 months old and very healthy. They are testing my blood to find the possible cause for the clot. I was told I might have Lupus. Nothing was explained to me. So what did I do? Go online and looked it up. Scared myself stupid. Yes I do have some of the symptoms. But, I also have 3 kids, take anti depressents and suffer OCD which could all make me tired and achy also. Do you see what I'm saying? Stress, depression and anxiety can mimic so many things. I felt like I was probably going to end up with kidney failure and be in a wheel chair when my joints packed up thanks to the info I read about Lupus. My husband as Diabetes so he went to a website about that. Guess what? He pointed out to me the doom and gloom and all the horrible things listed there that could happen to him. What I am trying to say, information can be good but too much information can be a bad thing. Please be assured that Lupus is difficult to diagnose. If there was any possiblity to you having it, believe me it would be looked into by your doctor.

Yes you are feeling unwell right now. But after years of on and off depression and anxiety I know that the mind can make you body feel ill. It doesn't make how you are feeling less real. But assure yourself that you will probably feel better if you stop worrying.

I've told myself now that if I do have Lupus, well its probably been there for ages and was ok before I knew about it, so I will be ok if I know about it. It doesn't mean death. In fact they don't even treat it unless symtoms dictate the need for treatment. Whether I have lupus or not, I will just have to inject blood thinners again everyday during another pregnancy. I have done this once and the result is so worth it. As the doctor pointed out to me, lupus may have cause the blood clot during pregancy, then again it might have just been one of those things. It frightend me that the blood clot could of killed both me and my baby. But IT DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cheer:

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I am afraid I am now banning all talk of people taking their own life

Does this mean that people are no longer allowed to say that they are struggling with suicidal feelings on here?

e.g. say you get a young sufferer who has just found out that they have OCD and is finding things very difficult. They stumble across this site and state that they are finding their OCD hard to come to terms with and are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Are you then going to ban them for saying that?

Some people find that they have been let down by the medical services and have no friends/family. This may be the only place that they feel safe to express their darkest worries and most scary feelings. To then say that they can't say that they are suicidal seems unfair.

I can see why you want to do this, because of the situation it relates to, but isn't it better to relate to the situation than to create a blanket ban? Please don't take this as an attack, but if a ban is going to be put in place then it might be helpful to advise people on where to go if they risk falling foul of the ban.

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Hi Northern Star,

The moderating team are very concerned about the effect that messages along the lines of "I want to kill myself" has on other forum users. We all care about each other and it can be very frightening when someone posts these kinds of comments and then doesn't log on for a while - this can cause a great deal of anxiety amongst many users.

We do certainly not want people to feel they can't discuss their feelings; it's more about the way in which these feelings are expressed. Of course we seek to help anyone who feels desperate and do regularly advise users to contact helplines or seek urgent medical help; but we need to consider ALL our users and I think all we ask as moderators is for people to think carefully before posting something which could upset others. There is a huge difference between saying "I am having suicidal feelings" and "I am going to kill myself", don't you agree?

I hope that makes it clearer; perhaps Ashley will add his thoughts later.

Take care,

Rach xx

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There is a huge difference between saying "I am having suicidal feelings" and "I am going to kill myself", don't you agree?

I absolutely agree.........I was under the impression that it was ANY mention of suicide/suicidal feelings that was going to be banned though. Sorry if I misunderstood.

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Hi Anxious Carolyn,

I just wanted to pick up on something you said earlier about your eating disorder. I had an eating disorder for many years and it totally wrecked me - I had no energy what-so-ever, was constantly anaemic and had terrible aches and pains everywhere. I could not see how they related to the eating disorder at all at the time- I really couldn't. I thought that was me for life - that was how I would always be. I would often be dizzy and would pass out but it could happen when I had eaten and so I wouldn't attribute it to the eating disorder. I ended up in hospital having scary tests done for this and that, all of which were negative. Eventually, after alot of therapy and meds I overcame it, which actually was something I always told myself I could do, but at the same time never believed I could. Even though I've been pregnant I've still had far more energy and life in me than I ever had before, though it's come back gradually over time. Looking back I would say that the eating disorder played a huge part in the physical problems I had, even though I didn't believe it at the time. Whether it's the anxiety part, the depression part, the bad coping strategies or the physical nutrition I don't know - probably a combination of all four.

Please don't think I'm siding with your doctor or saying that is your problem - I'm just saying how far reaching the problems from an eating disorder were for me. Are you getting good help for it? Your doctor should be pointing you in the right direction for help and if not maybe you could go to someone else?

Take care,

Stella :original:

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