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Not remembering when being drunk


Guest YEPYEP

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Guest YEPYEP

Hi everybody,

I have been reading some posts about people loosing there memory like me when going for 'couple' of beers, then feeling the day after aweful and trying to 'remember' all the details of the night etc and feeling even worser.

My story is the following. About 4 years ago I went out with a girl while I was dating. Anyway we ended up at home but I didn't remember too much after that. I felt terrible the day after and waited 2 months asking her through the messenger if I did something stupid. It happens that I did something very small but still stopped on time.

Few months later went out with a group. Too many shots and lost of memory. Then a friend told me that 'he may have seen me from a far distance' kissing a girl. Anyway I can't recall it totally. Have some vague thoughts about the situation, but don't know if I was kissing yes or no.

Right now I am dating a new girl succesfully for 2 years. Last year I took things more easier regarding alcohol, drinking more water between etc and remember of course much more. But just once in a very long time it can happen that there slips in an evening where I kind of loose my memory totally. Then the days after are horrible, and my mind is going nuts trying to recall the situation and feeling bad about something that could have happened.

I know I should take it easier with alcohol, which I am now doing. However what shall I do with the thoughts about evenings I can't totally recall?

Is a good way to handle this the following???:

- Try to controll alcohol consumption.

- If you don't remember, then ask if possible, persons who where with you what happened.

- If they say nothing special happened, you have done everything possible and you need to move on, trying to prevent memory loss in future.

- Then when an intrusive thought comes in you handle it as OCD and tell yourself that you are obsessing trying to refocus on some other subject.

Please I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!

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Hi YepYep,

I think it's a good idea to cut down on the amount you drink as it's not good for those of us with OCD to drink too much as alcohol is a depressant.

I think it would be helpful for you to speak to your doctor about OCD if you haven't already - see about getting some CBT to help you deal with your thoughts. At the end of the day, it's NOT essential to know everything we might have said or done when we've had a few drinks. It's very unlikely anything bad would ever have happened, isn't it?

I think you should try to say yourself, "I was drunk on such-and-such a night. I may have said or acted in ways I wish I hadn't, but I have no evidence that I did and so I won't allow OCD to upset me by thinking of all the what-might-have-beens." Let the thoughts flow through your head, but don't allow yourself to get caught up in cyclical thinking. Just accept they are OCD thoughts and they will fade.

Are your worries that you might have done something physical/sexual? If so, maybe that's something that you would benefit from discussing in therapy - your feelings about this, I mean.

I don't know if this is any help but please post again if you have any more questions or concerns we can try to help you with.

Take care,

Rach :)

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Guest purplegirl

I understand you totally! I have these feelings, I overdo it then the next day I feel sick with fear and worry that I have said or done something stupid. Generally I havent done anything too bad but I just worry so much. This combined with the fact that alcohol makes me more paranoid and depressed the next day anyway!

You should try to drink less and if you do slip up all you can do is ask others and trust what they say

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Guest YEPYEP

I think it would be helpful for you to speak to your doctor about OCD if you haven't already - see about getting some CBT to help you deal with your thoughts. At the end of the day, it's NOT essential to know everything we might have said or done when we've had a few drinks. It's very unlikely anything bad would ever have happened, isn't it?

Rach :)

True it's very unlikely that anything bad has happened. It's just the fear about loosing control and ruining a beautiful relationship that makes me think over and over again.

I think you should try to say yourself, "I was drunk on such-and-such a night. I may have said or acted in ways I wish I hadn't, but I have no evidence that I did and so I won't allow OCD to upset me by thinking of all the what-might-have-beens." Let the thoughts flow through your head, but don't allow yourself to get caught up in cyclical thinking. Just accept they are OCD thoughts and they will fade.

Are your worries that you might have done something physical/sexual? If so, maybe that's something that you would benefit from discussing in therapy - your feelings about this, I mean.

Rach :)

The thoughts are that I would have kissed or done something sexual. But it's not so much regarding my own real feeling but more the fear about this.

Although something very small may have happened in the past in my former relationship, I am afraid that I will do something wrong etc.

I am aware of the fact that I shouldn't drink much, only sometimes it slips in. Anyway your thought about first considering the facts, and if the facts are not there, accepting the thoughts as OCD thoughts sounds like a good way of dealing with this.

At least I can give it a try.

I am right now not in the position to contact a professional however I got a selfhelp book. The OCD workbook.

Regarding CBT; is it wise to imagien that you have done something wrong, to get used to the feeling? I guess CBT and imagening won't work too well in these kind of cases.

Thanks,

YEPYEP

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Guest vicki

Hi,

I was just going to start a very simlar thread! It seems that this is a common problem with us OCD-ers.

I went out on Sat night and drank quite a lot, although I think I can remember everything. I then spent the entire day on Sunday going over and over everything that I said and all the conversations I had with people. I was desparately worried that I might have said something 'bad' or said something that may have been misconstrued.

I have had some reassurances from my friends, but without speaking to every single one of them I saw on Sat night, I'm still going to worry about things.

What concerns me most, is that I'm increasingly worried about situations even when I haven't been drinking. The other night I popped over to a friends house for a quick chat, and when I got home I started analysing the conversation, convincing myself that I said something 'bad'.

I have had varying mild forms of OCD since I was a child. Do you think this is a form of OCD that could be treated, or is it just general anxiety that a lot of people suffer from?

Thanks to you guys who have posted about this. Makes me realise it's not just me!

Vicki x

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I think if you force yourself to think, "Yes, OK, I might have done such-and-such a thing" and then think, "So what?" that can be a good thing. You realise that if your fear was true, whilst you might not like it, it wouldn't be a terrible thing. Imagine if a friend told you they had done the thing you feared - would you think it was so bad?

If we can accept that there are no certainties about things, and that we might well make mistakes in our lives, I think that helps a bit.

Vicki, your symptoms sound very typical of OCD and I think CBT would be helpful in dealing with these types of worries/thoughts.

Does that make sense?

Rach x

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About 4 years ago I went out with a girl while I was dating. Anyway we ended up at home but I didn't remember too much after that. I felt terrible the day after and waited 2 months asking her through the messenger if I did something stupid. It happens that I did something very small but still stopped on time.

Few months later went out with a group. Too many shots and lost of memory. Then a friend told me that 'he may have seen me from a far distance' kissing a girl. Anyway I can't recall it totally.

..what shall I do with the thoughts about evenings I can't totally recall?

Hi YepYep,

Both of the above incidents happened a long time ago. There is nothing you can do to change them; they were in the past, try to put them there. Easy to say not so easy to do.

A few years ago I went to my GP; my thoughts at that time about a particular incident were running wild. He listened to what I said, was not shocked and told me to visualise putting the thoughts in a box and placing it on a high shelf....and leaving it there.

Although I am not usually very good at visualisation, this really helped me. Some such 'action' may help you.

I know I should take it easier with alcohol, which I am now doing.

I drink far too much - it used to be a crutch with my OCD - now I think it's just a habit - and one I am aiming to break.

Let's hope we can both cut back.

Take care

whitebeam

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Guest DippyD

I got quite drunk once and apparantly I punched my best friend and threw up on another friend but I can't remember a sodding thing! This was before I suffered with OCD! I don't know if it's true or if my mates were winding me up. I've not drunk or will ever drink as much again, I prefer being in control.

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Guest YEPYEP

Thanks for you replies!

Personally I think cheating is very bad, probably i have an obession that if I would cheat it would be so teriible etc..

The 'small' things happened 4 years ago. However I don't remember one specific evening which was 9 months ago and it gives me the creap, maybe I would have done something without knowing?. I am afraid that maybe I have done something wrong.

Anyway I asked my friends who were in the bar the same night and they told me they haven't seen anything suspicious, except the thing a girl tried to kiss me. One friend who stayed the whole night mentioned even that I behaved very well, that I refused the girl that tried to kiss me. But still the bad feelings about that one specific night comes up, because I woke up with a very very bad feeling and alomost no memory.

Is it possible that alcohol and OCD creates that fast after an event a feeling that almost makes you believe you have done something stupid?

Do you think imaginal exposure is a good way to get used to the obsession, or would it be in this case bad, because it would give you the feeling you would have done really something?? Do you know any other good treatment methods? I just have to stop running the compulsive thoughts about rethinking the whole event!

Plese your comments!

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Hi YepYep, what kind of imaginal exposure are you thinking of - imagining you have done the worst and making yourself get used to that idea?

I really would recommend getting one of the self-help books which deals with intrusive thoughts such as Imp Of The Mind or Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts.

I too think cheating is a bad thing and part of my OCD does involve worrying about things I might do. I now tell myself that so far in my love I have behaved in accordance with my beliefs. But, if I were to do something I thought was despicable, it would be AWFUL but it would NOT be the end of the world. I have had to kind of re-train myself not to see it as such a huge thing, if you see what I mean. Otherwise you live in constant fear and don't trust yourself.

Does that make sense?

You have nothing to worry about in terms of your behaviour, it's the OCD that's the problem, same with all of us.

Rach x

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Guest YEPYEP

Hi YepYep, what kind of imaginal exposure are you thinking of - imagining you have done the worst and making yourself get used to that idea?

I really would recommend getting one of the self-help books which deals with intrusive thoughts such as Imp Of The Mind or Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts.

I too think cheating is a bad thing and part of my OCD does involve worrying about things I might do. I now tell myself that so far in my love I have behaved in accordance with my beliefs. But, if I were to do something I thought was despicable, it would be AWFUL but it would NOT be the end of the world. I have had to kind of re-train myself not to see it as such a huge thing, if you see what I mean. Otherwise you live in constant fear and don't trust yourself.

Does that make sense?

You have nothing to worry about in terms of your behaviour, it's the OCD that's the problem, same with all of us.

Rach x

I was thinking that because all the people are recommending so much CBT that imaginal exposure would be an option. But how you explain it ,I was thinking myself, it doesn't make sense I think in this way.

Thanks for the advices about the books. I have now OCD workbook and ordered Brain Lock.

I totally agree with the fact that otherwise you don't trust yourself. And retraining to think in different way might be a very good thing. They only warn that your thoughts shouldn't become compulsive.

I yesterday read something which makes sense too. It's like in court. People with OCD treat themselves if they are guilty and need to prove that they are not guilty. However 'normal' people do like the other way; you are un-guilty till the facts are against you. I think that this is a very strong sentence. Treat all negative thoughts as OCD, and if there are facts then deal with them! But it doesn't make sense to worry and obsess about probabilities and that's just the thing OCD wants you to do!

What do you think?

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Hi YepYep, sorry I didn't see this sooner. I agree with that idea of people with OCD treating themselves as if they were guilty.

It sounds to me as if you've got a pretty good understanding of your OCD and have read a lot about it - this will definitely help you in dealing with it.

Let us know how you get on with OCD Workbook and Brainlock when you get it, and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Take care,

Rach :)

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Guest gemchanel

hiya

unbelievable how common all this is! its horrible to go thru i know.

I dont think that we forget things when we are out on the razz i think our OCD is playing tricks on us and goading at us about the night before etc.

I used to go out at weekends drinking but now i drink a bottle of wine at home by myself....altho this may be 4 times a week i do have a day in between of no drink... im not dependant on alcohol but i do feel more relaxed and confident altho quite anxious after having drank.

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I used to go out at weekends drinking but now i drink a bottle of wine at home by myself....altho this may be 4 times a week i do have a day in between of no drink... im not dependant on alcohol but i do feel more relaxed and confident altho quite anxious after having drank.

I don't wish to come across like preaching, but if you have problems with OCD I think everyone must do what they can to help themselves and drink so regular is not really helping yourself. I don't know if you are on any medication but if you are chances are you are cancelling any positive effect of the medication.

The fact you state your anxious after drinking shows the effect alcohol can have.

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Guest YEPYEP

Hi YepYep, sorry I didn't see this sooner. I agree with that idea of people with OCD treating themselves as if they were guilty.

It sounds to me as if you've got a pretty good understanding of your OCD and have read a lot about it - this will definitely help you in dealing with it.

Let us know how you get on with OCD Workbook and Brainlock when you get it, and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Take care,

Rach :)

Hi Rach,

Thanks for your motivating answer. I have the feeling I am starting to understand more and more about OCD and I want to understand more. I have been reading so much about it lately. I guess should take a bit more easy. I can't solve the problem within one week anyway:)

Stays just sometimes hard to understand the difference between OCD thought and reality...

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