How I cope with Christmas

[frankie]

Not very well I am afraid, for many years its been a time when my anxiety and depression is at its worst.

I find the thought of sitting in a pub with all the happy drunk faces a nightmare.

So I usually make loads of excuses and if people phone up asking me to come out I put on a croackey voice and pretend I have the flu.

People might say thats avoidance but in my book forcing yourself through something is not the answer either.

Its a very lonely time but in many ways I make it so as I dont think I could survive otherwise.

And of course alcohol is the worst thing at times like this.

[Guest lauralee]

Hi Frankie,

I was dreading christmas for a long time, as I couldn't face the thought of endless rounds of parties, drinking, making small talk etc, when I really wasn't up for any of that. I tend to isolate myself, spending a lot of time on my own when I should be out with mates.

Christmas is an anxiety-ridden time for everybody (stress, cooking, buying presents, spending money, bills etc etc etc) but this year I have realised it is only like that if i make it like that and I am trying to get through it all the best i can- avoiding alcohol as this makes me more depressed!!!!

Remember if you do feel lonely, there is always someone on the forum that you can talk to. You never have to be alone.

Merry christmas

Lauralee

[frankie]

Thanks LL

[Rachie]

Christmas can be a very hard time. Whether making an excuse is avoidance or not - I don't think it's a good time of year to be pushing yourself too much anyway in that kind of way. Pubs are more packed than usual, people are drunker and it can be quite intimidating. What do you do on Christmas Day, Frankie?

LL is right, you're never alone.

Rach x

[frankie]

well usually have a meal with my folks, sometimes my sisters and their kids come but not this year

[Guest Creative Cat]

Hi Frankie,

Reaching out here on the boards is a great thing for you to do -- so congratulations for doing that! I can totally understand not wanting to be at pubs/bars because of all the drinking.

Christmas is always very stressful for me because I obsess about gifts and contamination fears in giving them (its truly a nightmare at times for me!) The past few days have been horrendously stressful with trying to buy and give gifts because of my fears. BUT, I force myself to move forward through it and I have been giving gifts. I always feel so happy and like I want to cry when I see how happy people are when they open their gifts because they have NO IDEA of the personal hell that I went through to give it so it makes it worth it to me when I conquer the fear and give the gift and also see that it touched their heart.

I pray a lot through the holidays -- asking for daily strength -- sometimes just moment by moment strength to get through the tough times of the day when OCD trys to terrorize and ruin everything for me.

Actually, I love the holidays, the Christmas decorations, parties and gift-giving. I just hate the OCD fears that are worse at this time! I try to give myself grace and have let go of some of my perfectionistic expectations of myself. I try to do as much as I can and take care of myself by doing things that nurture my soul -- spending time with my cat, my husband, watching movies/TV, talking on phone, whatever helps relieve some stress and builds me up so I can face the next fear when it comes. I've also cut back on caffeine this week because it makes my ocd much worse and at Christmas with all of the extra stress I can't deal with the caffeine effects. It makes my thoughts go faster and my anxiety level go up. I have a withdrawal headache right now. I was drinking Starbucks A LOT and then wondering why my anxeity was getting worse -- go figure (LOL!)

Anyway, be easy on yourself. The holidays can be difficult. Do whatever you are able to do and give yourself a huge pat on the back! And, if you like going to church, consider going to a church service. That's the whole reason for the season anyway.

Merry Christmas!

Creative Cat

Edited December 24, 2006 by Guest

[frankie]

Thanks all

so far I have used the sore throat excuse and its keeping them at bay !!

I cant face people full stop when I am depressed and anxious

[Guest Gryphon]

Happy Christmas, to you all.

Sadly i can see that im not alone, i also find it difficult to socialise but have this urge to do so and when i do i feel weird and dont talk to anyone, how crazy is that, then i hate being on my own although i have my own family i still feel lonely.

anyway to all of you i wish you at least a peacefull time and good health for 2007

Wx