I need some help

[Guest hayley73]

Hi guys

Baby Destiny is 2 1/2 weeks old now. Up until now I have been doing quite well in not giving in to over cleaning and such. But the worries are now starting to creep in.

Making feeds is a biggy for me. It was with my last baby. It is now recommeded that feeds are made when needed. I have spoken to my midwife and she says as long as I practice good hygiene and cool the bottles down properly that the feeds can be made in advance. I have always done this with my previous babies without any problems so I finally plucked up the courage to do this today. Hubby has spent loads on 'ready made' feeds to try and cut the stress for me but I don't want to give in to OCD.

I am doing pretty good with the cleaning and steralising the bottles. But the worry is about making the feeds wrong, are my hands clean enough? I have gone through 2 towels before deciding on a clean one tonight when making feeds (then that still wasn't right but I continued anyway). Then worrying have I cooled the bottles down enough before putting them in the fridge? The list is pretty endless.

I couldn't really eat much tea tonight cause of anxiety. This can't beat me - I haven't got time for such worries with four children.

The health visitor is coming Tuesday. But she is young and very over zealous so I don't feel I can discuss much with her.

I have upped my meds to my pre pregnancy dose. I hate the way my body is looking and I have about 9lb to lose to get back to my pre pregnancy weight. This is getting me down and to be honest I am obessing over it. I feel miserable tonight.

I should have posted earlier - but find it all difficult. :helpsmilie:

[Guest alison]

sorry to hear you are down at what should be a special time, and, as you point out - you have better things to do with your time!

as you have 4 children, and im sure you love them all very much, im sure all your worries are ocd. youve previously done it with 3 kids so you know what your doing. maybe your just a bit worn out and more susceptible to the ocd??

i dont have any children myself so cant really comment, but if you cant talk to your health visitor im sure there must be someone you can confide in?? im sure someone will be able to point you in the right direction.

hope things get better

[Guest Miz]

CONGRATULATIONS on your new little arrival!! This is a time when you really need ocd to vacate if only for a short time. Its a very special time for you. So sorry your down, dont be so hard on yourself you have just had a baby and it took you 9 months to get there so a couple of weeks is nothing. You need to eat to keep your strengh up. I'm sure with 4 children you'll burn them calories off before long. I dont really know what advise to give about your ocd, I suffer from intrusive thoughts!!! But I had my first child 6 months ago and I know how hard ocd makes it. My thoughts are with you and your family. I breastfeed so not to sure but all my friends always made up numerous bottles at a time and that was the done thing. I know my little boy would not like waiting while I made up a bottle and cooled it everytime he was hungary.

Take care and take all the help everyone offers you deserve it. xxxx

[Caramoole]

Congratulations on the safe arrival of baby Destiny, Hayley.

Just remember, you've all sorts going on just now.....hormone disruption, maternal protection, tiredness.... to name but a few, never mind 3 other children. Most Mums have similar worries, never mind having to cope with OCD.

The hygiene risks with feeding are probably very, very small and I'm sure that the measures you have in place are quite adequate, honestly......it's your OCD that is creating the doubt. We can actually be 'Too' clean and prevent natural immunity developing.

Be prepared, be On Guard and relabel, relabel, relabel. Carry on normal hygiene practices that any other Mum would and identify that your OCD is trying to throw you a Bum card and create doubt, where none is necessary. Get as much rest as you can, share the load with Hubby (but not in an avoidance sense) and be kind to yourself....looking after 4 youngsters is very hard work, even without OCD.

I reckon you should be pretty proud of yourself

Take Care

Caramoole

[whitebeam]

Hi Hayley,

Lovely news that you've had your baby - and the name, Destiny, is lovely.

Sorry that you're feeling a bit down but hope you soon feel a lot better.

I can't comment on any of the baby feeding questions as I've not had any children.

Best wishes to you all :original:

whitebeam

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Hayley

Congratulations! With the bottle feeding what I do to fit in with the new guidelines is put the correct amount of boiled water into each bottle straight after they've been sterilised and leave them just on the side to cool to room temperature and then just add the scoops of formula when needed and shake it. I was told this was the best way to stop bacteria forming. As it hasn't been in the fridge you don't have to warm it up which can create more germs as baby wil take it fine at room temperature. Don't know if this is helpful but this was actually how I was told to do it by my midwife and helath visitor and it is really easy to do.

Try not to worry about your weight too much. I had a similar problem after my baby 6 1/2 months ago. In fact the problem was that I actually lost weight whilst I was pregnant, having been a bit overweight before, so loads of people including my husband made comments that I should take advantage of it and I could end up being really slim afterwards etc. These comments combined with my ocd got me a bit obsessed with weight loss among other things and within weeks of giving birth I was frantically walking miles and obsessing over calorie intake. I just ended up having to have an operation because I hadn't healed properly and I can't help thinking all the exercise had something to do with it and if I'd just taken time to relax things might have been different.

I know what you mean about being worried about disclosing ocd to your health visitor I haven't told mine although I did tell the midwife when I was pregnant and she didn't really bat an eyelid! I too am thinking of telling my health visitor on Tuesday as she is coming to see how the op went. At the end of the day you have successfully brought up three other children so she wouldn't be able to say that your ocd is oging to have a bad effect on your new baby.

Hope this is helpful

Brainstrain

[Guest purrfect]

Hayley,

god I feel for you right now. We had baby garry here this weekend, and we had ian at the same time (who was not amused his space was being "invaded") and all I could think of was you and how much I admire you. Its kinda what got me through.

I'm sorry your OCD is in overdrive, But as you have said the baby has been fine. Little things like the towel incident will crop up, esp as you are understress. As long as you keep trying to take steps forward (which it sounds like you are doing every day) the odd step back will be easier to correct, and I think you are doing fantastically, even though you don't feel that way right now. i hope you start feeling better soon.

with admiration,

mhairi.

[Mel1971]

hi hayles

sorry youre having a tough time hun, but as you said, youve been there before and know exactly what you need to do to get through it.

recognise the signs and times when ocd tries to trip you up - and knock it on the head,

glad to hear baby Destiny is doing well, i hope you get some time to yourself to have a little bit of 'me' time.

take care hunny,

love melxxxxxxx

[Kylie]

Hi Hayley,

I am sorry to hear that the OCD has raised it's ugly head again. I found, after the birth of Laigan, for the first couple of weeks, I didn't have chance to let OCD affect me..but once I started to adjust to having a 3rd baby, it tried very hard to come back with a vengance.

At least you have realised what it is instantly..and you have the tools needed to help you overcome whatever OCD is trying to throw at you.

Well done for making the bottles, and standing up to OCD...you should be very proud of yourself..I know just how easy it is to give in to the compulsions when you have a newborn baby in the house...but you are fighting.

The thing about making bottles as and when needed, rather than in advance, was just coming into plat after I had Laigan, and with my previous 2, I was advised to make feeds up in advance. I have to be honest and say, I just did it the way I always had, and not when needed...as there was no way Laigan was going to wait while I made him a bottle!! I used to make feeds up for the next 24 hours...and to be completely honest, I never fridged them. I would make 6 bottles up, and leave them in the kitchen until I needed them.

You know what you are doing, you've done it before...don't let the OCD try and tell you the way you are doing it is wrong...coz it's not!!

Kylie

x x x

[Guest hayley73]

Thank you guys for your support.

I am not feeling very good at the moment. Wondering if a bit of PND is at play here. I will post more in depth when I got time. I totally lost the plot for a good hour last night. Took half a bottle of wine to feel any way near normal. :helpsmilie:

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Hayley

Just to let you know I've been having the same thoughts about whether I'm getting a bit of pnd or if its just the ocd or a bit of both. I know that's not a good reply but just wanted you to know I think I'm in the same boat and you're not alone. If it helps you could pm me for a chat.

Luv Brainstrain x

[Guest hayley73]

Feeling a bit brighter today. Visit from health visitor went really well. I tried to be honest about my OCD and the way I had been feeling. She tried to reasure me that babies need a certain amout of germs in order to build up an immunity and also Destiny has a certain amount of immunity from me.

I told her how I was feeling and that it was particualy bad on Sunday evening. My stepsons behaviour (again) sent me over the edge. She is refering us for help with someone else.

My hands are quite dry due to washing. Very frustrating. The night feeds I am finding tough. Me and Adam are taking it in turns doing a night each. The nights I do get sleep I am still tired when waking. The trouble is I feel very low on waking and feeling quite panicky at times.

We registered the babies birth yesterday. Despite my head trying to scream at me I have stuck with the name we have chosen. So she is now officially DESTINY GRACE.

My weight obession is pretty bad at the moment. Feeling tempted to start my Slimming World diet now. Even though I originally told myself I would wait at least 6 weeks. Thing is when I am tired and shaky its only chocolate that is doing the trick. My pre pregnancy clothes fit but the scales is fluctuating so much! According to those blasted scales I have gained 6lb throughout the day. I mean that can't be possible!

Brainstrain - I am doing your idea with the bottles. Thank you. I told the health visitor how I was doing them and she was happy with it. Although cause of the way I 'need' to wash my hands and stuff before adding the milk powder, on the tough days I will probably make some in advance.

:original:

[Guest legend]

Best thing for the scales is the bin!! yes the weight is important to you, but constantly checking it only makes the

ocd worse!! and thats from a man!!

Obviously with a young un, you need lots of energy, short term fixes are only temporary,

carbohydrates are good if you are using loads of energy, which you are!! pastas good with chicken, protein as well

eggs are always a good source, but in time things will settle, and maybe a good diet will come about eventually,

most important is you and baby, and as your health visitor said, your doing really well,

hth legend.

[Justine]

L

Edited June 20, 2008 by Guest