Walking anywhere is a nightmare

[Guest tinman]

This is my first post. I am not sure if I have OCD, to be honest I have only just discovered what it is! My doc has given me Sertraline for what he called depression, but we didn't have long to talk so I didn't fess up about everything I wanted to.

I think I have many traits that may be described OCD, that have come and gone my entire life. Some I have learnt to live with in secret but still cause mild stress, but for the last few months I cannot walk anywhere without abiding to the rules of something in my head which at the moment forbid me from stepping on cracks or inline with the joins in pavements. If I do it accidentally then I have to even it up by doing it with the other foot, but doing that might do the other foot 'too much' and need to even the first. Anyway, I am getting sick of abiding to the rules, but i think if I do it then it might give me the power to say no when i get thoughts about punching people or spitting at them or kicking a kid or far worse things i don't want to mention. It seems so trivial, yet I can't stop it, although medication has perhaps made me less stressed about the fact I am doing it.

I had some problems when I was younger, but I can't remember how I got over them, and even then it took years by myself. Anyone else have something similar, is this even OCD? Any neat tricks you can think of that don't invlove alcohol???

[Guest Bug]

This is my first post. I am not sure if I have OCD, to be honest I have only just discovered what it is! My doc has given me Sertraline for what he called depression, but we didn't have long to talk so I didn't fess up about everything I wanted to.

I think I have many traits that may be described OCD, that have come and gone my entire life. Some I have learnt to live with in secret but still cause mild stress, but for the last few months I cannot walk anywhere without abiding to the rules of something in my head which at the moment forbid me from stepping on cracks or inline with the joins in pavements. If I do it accidentally then I have to even it up by doing it with the other foot, but doing that might do the other foot 'too much' and need to even the first. Anyway, I am getting sick of abiding to the rules, but i think if I do it then it might give me the power to say no when i get thoughts about punching people or spitting at them or kicking a kid or far worse things i don't want to mention. It seems so trivial, yet I can't stop it, although medication has perhaps made me less stressed about the fact I am doing it.

I had some problems when I was younger, but I can't remember how I got over them, and even then it took years by myself. Anyone else have something similar, is this even OCD? Any neat tricks you can think of that don't invlove alcohol???

It sounds like OCD to me....... and it sounds like your having a hard time. Poor you. x I found cognitive behaviour therapy extremely beneficial. have you tried councelling? x

[Guest tinman]

Thankyou Bug, I will be able to sleep better having got a reply! mmmm councelling, I am not sure how that will help but am willing to try, councellors just listen don't they? I know what I do isn't reasonable, but I don't know why I do it. Did councelling help you with that? As far as I can see its how I was made!

[Guest legend]

hi tinman, and welcome to the forums, as a suggestiom, i would go straight back to your gp,

and maybe print off the gp icebreker at the top of the page, which clearly states that you "may" have

ocd, and then he should refer you for a correct diagnoses, and then you should be offered cbt as well

as the meds you are taking,

it doesnt sound like depression to me, more like ocd, and the sooner you get the correct help

the better,

have a look at the four step link at the top of the page to, its a good tool to learn

legend

[Guest legend]

hi tinman, and do keep posting for advice and support, theres lots on here who can relate.

Edited November 28, 2008 by Guest

[Guest Bug]

Hi,

Just councelling did not help me....but CBT was fantastic, the main things it helped with was my constant need to seek reassurance and my buzzing thoughts that kept growing.......CBT helped me find a way of controlling my thoughts and anxiety. x

[Guest tinman]

Thankyou both, it's nice to know there are others out there

Walking about from home to campus was not much fun again today. I feel bad for scaring a lady, there was loads of pavement but I had to walk very close to her and she didn't realise she was walking where I needed to (and I didn't notice her cos I was concentrating on pavement slabs and fallen leaves). I got around it by just taking a more difficult path, but wasn't very happy about it cos it meant missing out on the easiest part of my walk where I can relax for a minute.

I went to the gym before doing any work and I found that was good, definitly some good chemicals for the brain involved post-gym which eases the OCD tendancies of the day a little! The trouble with the gym is loads of rugby dudes throw the weights about and little old me has to put them back in order before leaving, i tell you this, its a lot more difficult than organising your couloring pencils in order!

[Kylie]

Hi Tinman,

Firstly, a very warm welcome to the forums - I can assure you, you are not alone with what you are experiencing, and many of our members will be able to identify with you.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at present - unfortunately, none of us are medical experts and are unable to offer you a diagnosis - but it does sound like you are displaying OCD type symptoms. It's great that you have been to see your GP - but I would advise going back and asking for a referral for a diagnosis of OCD. Although you have been given some medication - which should hopefully help with the anxiety levels you are experiencing, medication alone is not a magic cure. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is recognised as the most effective treatment for OCD - and a referral for this treatment would be the best thing you could get.

CBT is not the same as counselling - there is a link at the top of the page that explains all about CBT - take a look and see what you think. I personally have had CBT to help me overcome my OCD, and I can't speak highly enough about it. It has changed my life beyond all recognition.

Take a look at the main OCD-UK webpage HERE. It is full of a wealth of information.

Please feel free to post anytime.

Kylie

x x x

[Guest tinman]

Thanks Kylie, you guys really are super!

You've convinced me. My GP asked to see me after 4 weeks of new dose of medication so I shall see him next week and ask for referal. I am not keen to be on medication for a long time, and need another way over this. It has all been very manageable for a few years now, but then I have had the luxury of avoiding situations or being drunk if I have to go and be social. I nearly broke my neck at the begining of the year and have been drunk or heavily painkillered for nearly 6 months to cope with the pain. I thought all I was going through was a result of the injury or too much alcohol damage, but since discovering this site I have kind of evaluated my life and my recent life before the accident and realised what I am going through now is just an amplified version of what I used to be like (or in fact identicle to what I was like in primary school with the addition of very sick thoughts).

That's a long post - sorry! - and it's very off the topic of treading on the cracks which is only one of the problems. Does anyone else wonder what they would be like if they were a caveman? Like, would I still be doing this, what if a mammoth was charging at me, would I have to run away whilst treading oh so carefully? If that could motivate me to 'get over it' what else could? I know that listening to my ipod isn't distraction enough. I seriously think I wouldn't last long as a caveman.

[O Neg]

Hello Tinman, I have a very similar problem myself re the spitting and to some extent the kicking, which I suppose could be classified as a sort of harm OCD. I still have problems today, although in my heart of hearts I know OCD is telling me another lie.

[Closed for repairs]

 

This one is 2008

Have you been Googling stuff as well?

Im not trying to be an **** about this but am worried you are “going down the rabbit hole.”

Edited December 26, 2019 by Closed for repairs

[O Neg]

Does the age of the thread make it any less relevant? Get off my case!

[Closed for repairs]

Fair enough, sorry to offend.

Like I say just worried that you were of on an epic internet search, we’ve all done it.

[dksea]

17 hours ago, O Neg said:

Does the age of the thread make it any less relevant? Get off my case!

In terms of being able to learn information/appreciate the advice given? No not necessarily. 

In terms of responding to it and expecting any kind of reply, I’m afraid it does. For example Tinmans last visit to the forums was over 9 years ago. 
 

Meanwhile researching can very much become a compulsion. While it’s understandable to look for sufferers with similar themes as it can provide some reassurance it’s important not to fixate too much on the obsessive thought, that imparts a level of importance on it that is the opposite of what recovery is about. In the end the goal is to get better and better at treating these thoughts as unimportant.

Its not about being on your case, it’s about recognizing behavior that is likely to be, at best, unhelpful, at worst, possibly harmful. 

[O Neg]

My apologies Closed. My family and I have had a bad Christmas mainly due to myself and my disorder. I do not mean to take it out on you. Apologies again.

[Closed for repairs]

No apology needed, 

But very much appreciated, you’re  a gent.

[OldCrazyDame]

Hi Tinman.  I, too, am new to the forum.  I can relate to your not treading on cracks as this has been one of my 'things'.  I can't remember how I overcame it as it was years ago but I have never been free of OCD in many of it's forms.  However, I did seek help through MIND who put me in touch with a local clinic where I had a course of Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) which was the best thing I ever did.  It certainly isn't an easy option but well worth the suffering!  Unfortunately something happened that made me relapse but ERP has given me  strategies that help a bit for now and I am definitely going back for more therapy in the new year to get my life back again. Don't despair too much.  There is help out there and you can win!