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Is it OCD? It's so different from anyone else


Guest tyga

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Hi,

It's been a while since I was on here cos I've been able to keep my thoughts under control for the last 2 years. But it's reared it's ugly head again, and with new information to scare me with. So now, with this new information I am more convinced I don't have OCD and my thoughts are true.

This is hard for me, I've never actually written down my thoughts like this before but I feel that I can now. My thoughts are always about sexual abuse. It started 14 years ago when I couldn't stop thinking that every man I saw coould be a child abuser. I just realised that I would never know who was and who wasn't and it scared me to the core. But then I started to think where did these thoughts come from. And then the what ifs started and from that day to this I have never been able to shake them. What if I was abused and that's why I think these things? Then I start to think who could it have been. This is the most frightening thought I have ever had, and I feel so guilty as well, but I have no recollections of any incidents even after all these years of worrying about it. At it's worst I worry that there is something wrong with me and I am a pedaphile or deviant.

The problem is I am worrying about something in the past that someone else did. The posts I have read are about people worrying about what they have done or might do to other people. So maybe its not OCD and I really should be worrying about this. Its almost like I fell that if I just keep worrying about it I will eventually get an answer and find out the truth.

Can anyone else tell me if they have thoughts like this or if it isn't OCD? I can't take much more of this anxiety and panic attacks.

tyga PS sorry this is so long

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Hi tyga,

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with your OCD at present - but I can assure you, many of our members can identify with what you are experiencing.

Without getting into the realms of offering reassurance (as we all know this is not the best way to combat OCD), I will say that the thoughts you are experiencing are typical of OCD - and will leave it at that!

You say that you have managed to control your obsessive thoughts for the last couple of years - can you remember what techniques you have used before, and can you implement them again? Did you receive any help for your OCD in the past? If so, could you speak with your therapist and get some more support to help you with your present thoughts?

You have been able to control the thoughts in the past, and I am sure you will be able to do it again - it's just remembering techniques that you have learnt. Regardless of what the thoughts are - the disorder is the same - and as such, the techniqes still remain the same.

Hope this helps a little.

Kylie

x x x

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Thanks for ur reply, Kylie. It's such a tricky thing cos it has me almost convinced its not OCD. The arguments it can come up with! I have almost fallen for it again. I know I need to keep reassuring myself it is and this forum certainly helps alot. I do have a therapist and I will be talking it through with her. Do you ever feel when you are so high in anxiety that your senses are dulled? Food tastes like cardboard and you can't really see properly, like the colour has drained out of everything?

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Guest PatsyG
Thanks for ur reply, Kylie. It's such a tricky thing cos it has me almost convinced its not OCD. The arguments it can come up with! I have almost fallen for it again. I know I need to keep reassuring myself it is and this forum certainly helps alot. I do have a therapist and I will be talking it through with her. Do you ever feel when you are so high in anxiety that your senses are dulled? Food tastes like cardboard and you can't really see properly, like the colour has drained out of everything?

Yeah theres no point trying to argue with OCD, it will always come up with one better!

I have high anxiety at times and i feel like im in my own world a little, I dont take everything in that goes on around me, I kinda shut off a bit. Its all normal in terms of anxiety I think. x

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