where im at now...

[Ashley]

Sorry Cat, I don't wish to be unhelpful but you have posted about this fear many, many, many times now, and each day we get a new lengthy post asking more or less the same type of questions, more in guise these days which are basically you or your OCD seeking reassurance.

We can't and must not keep giving you the same answers, it really is time for you to stop posting and start thinking about how you can engage your thoughts whenever the TV turns its attention to mens bits.

[Guest cat1]

im genuinely confused though,as to which bits are ocd.i dont know whether to treat it all as ocd,or if the enjoyment feelings were me.how can i treat it if im not sure what it is........?so how do i handle all this? relabel it all as ocd,or try and work out which bits were ocd?i honestly am not sure whether to label these feelings as ocd,but i know that if i dont ill keep trying to work it out..

Edited June 17, 2009 by Guest

[Ashley]

The golden rule from Brain Lock is that if you think something might be OCD, then generally it is OCD!

[Guest cat1]

yeah,but how do i know if it is though? i mean,i know i didnt get excited when the woman announced it was about mens bits,i wasnt like 'oh yeah,want to see that..'.but i dont know what to make about my feelings in the rest of it.I think it was more to do with the fact that some of it was funny that made me feel that way,ie it was a bit 'tongue in cheek' with this woman asking rugby players what they knew about penis size etc.The horrible part for me was the ocd making me think i was going to get aroused,but i know it always does that,and it never happens,so i should have learnt by now.

[Guest cat1]

nowim analysing it too much i think,as i keep getting intrusive thoughts telling me it was because it related to sexual things that i enjoyed it.But then it also says that its ok to get turned on by stuff that is sexual,even stuff about men,(ocd can make me feel like i am but its false) but im not! and i dont want to be either! im not ok with that.If it did happen i would know it was totally unwanted and irrational.my ocd wont shut up!

Edited June 17, 2009 by Guest

[Guest cat1]

please can i have some advice on how to understand all this?

[Ashley]

Sorry Cat, I am not sure what advice we can give you today that we have not already given you multiple times before. I am not trying to be a wise ass, but I am not sure how else we can help you at this point until such time you are able to start taking some steps yourself to address this. I think you do understand some aspects, but your obsessively posting every little details multiples times a day, which are simply reworded posts that have come before, with your OCD simply seeking reassurance about what you're feeling. I actually think the forum is becoming just as much of a negative issue for you now as the OCD itself.

[Guest cat1]

nooo,u misunderstand ashley.the feelings i described,i actually dont know if they were ocd or not.What i was trying to ask last night,was that i was concerned that parts of me watching the men things on tv were ocd,but i wasnt sure if bits of it werent.Do u see what i mean? i wasnt posting a spike situation as only parts of it spiked me,not all of it.Thats why i didnt know what to make of it.I genuinely dont know if what i felt was ocd or just me enjoying the programme.I didnt spike straight away when i was watching it,although i had the anxiety,it came in after a while.I wondered if anyone has experienced that? I didnt think it was a case of my posting all ocd stuff.And i still dont now,after thinking it through a bit more.I think i did well to start with when i was watching it,but then my ocd came in and then i didnt know which was ocd and which would have been my normal reaction.Ashley,ive been using the fours steps very effectively everyday for quite a while now,and before the spikes last night,my last one was at the weekend,which was a mild one.I feel sorry that u cant see that.I know ive got a lot better,but last night i wound myself up by engaging with my worries,and feeling ignored on here when i was asking for some help interpreting all this.I didnt want to be told it was all ocd,thats not what i was asking.I was asking if an objective person could help me understand better what might have happened.I think the problem is,you and maybe others think whenever i post stuff about men,that all im doing is posting ocd stuff.But thats not the case at all,i though hard about what to put here last night.I didnt type it purely because of the anxiety,as actually when i posted it i was that anxious.id just really like some opinions on it.

[Guest cat1]

i would also like to add,that i have not posted every little detail multiple times a day.In fact when i do post about a spike,i take care NOT to include every detail.Also,since page 13 of this thread,i have only posted about two spikes,and even then,i have not included many details and have told how ive used to four steps effectively.So whats youve said simply isnt true.Ive posted a lot about my recent progress on here lately,and its a shame u cant acknowledge that.The fact is,im simply not where u think i am with my ocd,my spikes are a lot fewer,and dont cause me as much anxiety,some none at all.

Sorry Cat, I am not sure what advice we can give you today that we have not already given you multiple times before. I am not trying to be a wise ass, but I am not sure how else we can help you at this point until such time you are able to start taking some steps yourself to address this. I think you do understand some aspects, but your obsessively posting every little details multiples times a day, which are simply reworded posts that have come before, with your OCD simply seeking reassurance about what you're feeling. I actually think the forum is becoming just as much of a negative issue for you now as the OCD itself.

[Guest legend]

Its called reasurance cat, and ocd is devious in the way it makes you ask questions, despite already knowing the

answer, ocd craves food, and the longer you feed it, the stronger it becomes.

the information, youve been given, has to put into practise, and for the benefit of your health, and ocd, posting

the same question over and over, isnt going to make you better,.

its very difficult, when people refuse to answer a ocd question, thats been asked many times, but the reasons we

dont respond, is because it will make your ocd worse.

legend

[Guest cat1]

no legend,im not asking for reassurance,i dont want any.i dont want to be told that my feelings are all ocd. i wanted someone to help me to work through this situation last night.I didnt need help to work through the anxiety,i did that myself with deep breating and distraction.Ive already said that it wasnt all a spike,i feel like people arent listening to me here! im not asking questions ive asked before.Im getting better,and this thing last night was a mixture of spiking and not spiking.One mintue i was watching the programme normally,then ocd came in,then it went.Thats how it was.It really was a mixture of ocd and non ocd stuff i believe.Im sure other people must have had this.can anyone help?like i already said,im using the four steps EVERYDAY and they are working for me most of the time.I really dont know if the feelings i had were ocd or my own enjoyment.Thats not obsessive doubt talking as im not anxious now.Thats me.I dont know what to make of the whole thing,other than that i can identify my intrusive thoughts and anxiety that were part of the ocd.I cant treat my ocd if i dont know which bits are ocd can i?

Its called reasurance cat, and ocd is devious in the way it makes you ask questions, despite already knowing the

answer, ocd craves food, and the longer you feed it, the stronger it becomes.

the information, youve been given, has to put into practise, and for the benefit of your health, and ocd, posting

the same question over and over, isnt going to make you better,.

its very difficult, when people refuse to answer a ocd question, thats been asked many times, but the reasons we

dont respond, is because it will make your ocd worse.

legend

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest Duckfoot]

I really dont know if the feelings i had were ocd or my own enjoyment.Thats not obsessive doubt talking as im not anxious now.

If you're not anxious, then why does it matter so much whether you get an answer to your question?

Lashing out is going to get you no where

[Guest legend]

QUOTE (cat1 @ Jun 18 2009, 10:14 AM)

I really dont know if the feelings i had were ocd or my own enjoyment.Thats not obsessive doubt talking as im not anxious now.

but still a question, thats looking for certainty, and a question thats been answered many times for you, and if

it was answered, it would keep you gripped in the ocd web.

[Guest cat1]

hi nim,it matters as im trying to understand my illness and how it works,and which bits are me and which arent.Ive had a lot of great help from here on that.But am im recovering,im finding more and more situations where i have a mixture of ocd and non ocd responses.So i would like to know if anyone has experienced this.My thoughts were that this forum was for sharing experiences to help others,which is my intention.I believe now that i spiked myself as i was worried about the feelings of enjoyment i had,even though i knew they werent sexual,the feelings seemed alien to me.And then other ocd stuff came in then.

[Guest cat1]

no its not legend,im not looking for certainty or someone to tell me its all ocd.What im confused about now,is how i know if the feelings i get are ocd or me.can anyone answer that? i mean,people whove recovered from their ocd should know the answer to that question right? i assume most people here when they recover will get bits of them mixed in with the ocd yes? thats what im getting now,and i dont know how to interpret it.This question has not been asked before legend,i have asked if the enjoyment feelings i had when i was spiking were ocd or not,yes.But thats not what im asking here.This situation last night was a mixture of me and ocd,and im trying to work out which bits were which,so i can treat the ocd accordingly.

QUOTE (cat1 @ Jun 18 2009, 10:14 AM)

I really dont know if the feelings i had were ocd or my own enjoyment.Thats not obsessive doubt talking as im not anxious now.

but still a question, thats looking for certainty, and a question thats been answered many times for you, and if

it was answered, it would keep you gripped in the ocd web.

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest legend]

read caramooles thread, in the helpful threads section,at the top, if it feels like ocd, it probably is.

legend

[Guest Duckfoot]

It seems to me then, that you have answered your own question and know what was and what wasn't ocd, now i'm not having a go here but maybe next time you get something like this where you are confused scared or whatever, maybe take a couple of hours to refocus and maybe see if you can come to the conclusions yourself, instead of hopping straight on here and posting a thread about it, because as you've probably realised nobody is going to answer your questions about it for you.

You're right, you have recieved alot of great support on this site, its up to you what you do with it now.

ACTUALLY..

i've just read the post you've just made and seemingly you still don't seem to think you've worked it out so scratch what i've said above, all except for the bit about nobody answering your question because to be honest it does still seem like you're asking for reassurance.

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Caramoole]

The problem seems to be the difference in how you see and understand OCD, and how we do. That isn't that anyone thinks you're lying, just that we have hugely differing opinions on how you're using the forum to deal with things.

This has been discussed between the Moderating Team and we do feel that we aren't helping you very well by allowing (what we see as) reassurance seeking.

Now you're going to tell me categorically that it was a genuine enquiry to help you understand a partiular point and I believe that you genuinely feel it was simply information seeking. Unfortunately, we're not in agreement and it does pose a problem as to how we move forward with this without coming back to the same point of conflict every few days.

We feel very strongly about using the forum in a way that we don't think is helping you, and in accordance with the general beliefs that the Charity hold, can't let this type of questioning continue when we consider it damaging to your improvement. You clearly disagree, so we have a stalemate situation. I'm not sure how we get past this point effectively.

Given that future posts of a similar kind are going to provoke the same problems, how do you feel we can get beyond this?

Caramoole

[Guest cat1]

my suggestion would be,that you consider what i was saying in my last posts,regarding me trying to understand what happened last night.I really dont want to be told it was all ocd.Im trying to work out which bits were ocd and which werent,and would like someone to help me with that.For the reason that ive had episodes like this before,and will again.And id like to know how to tackle situations where it might be a bit of both.what would u suggest? if im not sure,label it all ocd? Ive discovered that by examining it,last night i thought id got some insights,but really i cant be sure if what i thought was right.Id like to know how i can deal with situations where some bits might be ocd and some arent.As i really dont know how to help myself with this,and would very much value some opinions on it,whatever people think.I almost think that getting better is worse than being in the thick of ocd,as you get times when u have ocd come into a situation where u werent that anxious.I think thats what happened last night,i still am not sure about the feelings side of things though.If you dont want to give me an answer,can u suggest how i can work it out for myself so that i can help myself in future occassions like this? At the moment all i want is for someone to help my understand last night and how to deal with similar situations in the future.And im trying to get myself well here,and would really appreciate some help on that.Im managing well by ignoring or relabelling most spikes now,but in situations like last night i just end up confused about how to handle it.

The problem seems to be the difference in how you see and understand OCD, and how we do. That isn't that anyone thinks you're lying, just that we have hugely differing opinions on how you're using the forum to deal with things.

This has been discussed between the Moderating Team and we do feel that we aren't helping you very well by allowing (what we see as) reassurance seeking.

Now you're going to tell me categorically that it was a genuine enquiry to help you understand a partiular point and I believe that you genuinely feel it was simply information seeking. Unfortunately, we're not in agreement and it does pose a problem as to how we move forward with this without coming back to the same point of conflict every few days.

We feel very strongly about using the forum in a way that we don't think is helping you, and in accordance with the general beliefs that the Charity hold, can't let this type of questioning continue when we consider it damaging to your improvement. You clearly disagree, so we have a stalemate situation. I'm not sure how we get past this point effectively.

Given that future posts of a similar kind are going to provoke the same problems, how do you feel we can get beyond this?

Caramoole

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest cat1]

hi nim,last night i did come to some conclusions,but then my ocd came in and confused me and i couldnt get out of it.i dont want to be told its all ocd.i also want to believe that the 'niceish' good feelings were all ocd,but im not sure whether to believe myself.

It seems to me then, that you have answered your own question and know what was and what wasn't ocd, now i'm not having a go here but maybe next time you get something like this where you are confused scared or whatever, maybe take a couple of hours to refocus and maybe see if you can come to the conclusions yourself, instead of hopping straight on here and posting a thread about it, because as you've probably realised nobody is going to answer your questions about it for you.

You're right, you have recieved alot of great support on this site, its up to you what you do with it now.

ACTUALLY..

i've just read the post you've just made and seemingly you still don't seem to think you've worked it out so scratch what i've said above, all except for the bit about nobody answering your question because to be honest it does still seem like you're asking for reassurance.

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest Duckfoot]

if you just take a step back and ask yourself what is the difference between the ocd thoughts i was having and the non ocd thoughts i was having i think you'll find you knew the answer all along, you really don't need anyone on here to tell you

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest Duckfoot]

hi nim,last night i did come to some conclusions,but then my ocd came in and confused me and i couldnt get out of it.i dont want to be told its all ocd.i also want to believe that the 'niceish' good feelings were all ocd,but im not sure whether to believe myself.

i know you don't want to be told it's all ocd i'm trying to understand but my brains a bit of a mush today lol

the not knowing whether to trust your judgement.. you know why that is don't you?

[Guest cat1]

errrr, ocd? hi nim,its not that that i want to know though.I know which were my intrusive thoughts last night,it was the feelings that im not sure about.I dont want to trust my judgement though,as last night i thought the feelings were enjoyment not ocd.But now im not sure if that thought,which came while i was still slightly anxious right after the ocd,was ocd or not! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! when i said i dont want to be told its ocd,it would be nice to me told that.What i meant though,was that the reason i posted here last night was not to be reassured it was ocd.In a way,id like to label it all ocd but i dont know if im right on that! can u see my mental spaghetti!!!

It seems so obvious that i want to scream it out loud, but that wont help anyone, 1 because you can't hear me and 2 because as much as you don't want to think that it is, but it is reassurance

if you just take a step back and ask yourself what is the difference between the ocd thoughts i was having and the non ocd thoughts i was having i think you'll find you knew the answer all along, you really don't need anyone on here to tell you

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest Duckfoot]

it's the same principle when you consider that enxiety arousal is a manifestation of ocd, and so using that principle you should be able to recigonise which feelings were ocd and which weren't

[Guest legend]

its not called the doubting desease for nothing, ............ :dry: ..........