where im at now...

[Guest cat1]

i can though,for sure,thats the problem i have.And if i think that i enjoyed what i was watching,that makes me feel sick,but if i tell myself the feelings were ocd,i feel better.But i dont know which is right!! But the reason i want to know,is because if i get 'nice' feelings from watching something about men in the future,how will i know its caused by ocd? (i use nice,but thats a bit too strong a word)

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest Duckfoot]

But now im not sure if that thought,which came while i was still slightly anxious right after the ocd,was ocd or not! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

There's no need to get wound up cat i'm just trying to help.

Ocd - the doubting disease

if it feels like ocd it probably is

i know people have said this to you countless times but they are two of the most important things to remember when applying the four steps

[Guest cat1]

hi,i know u are,thanks.i wasnt wound up at u,i was getting annoyed at the ocd!! sorry if u thought that!

i think the reason i think the feelings were ocd,is that what i was watching wouldnt normally cause me to feel like that.

There's no need to get wound up cat i'm just trying to help.

Ocd - the doubting disease

if it feels like ocd it probably is

i know people have said this to you countless times but they are two of the most important things to remember when applying the four steps

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest cat1]

so,on that basis legend,i relabel it ALL ocd?

its not called the doubting desease for nothing, ............ :dry: ..........

[Guest Duckfoot]

how about if you think about them as 'yes they were feelings of enjoyment, but they were a natural response that any person could have'

and i can't blame you for getting wound up at the ocd, the pain in the **** that it is believe me we all understand the feelings of frustration that come with it

[Guest Duckfoot]

i think the reason i think the feelings were ocd,is that what i was watching wouldnt normally cause me to feel like that.

i think you may have your answer then now you can relable refocus and move on

[Guest cat1]

thanks nim,i really appreciate u taking the time to understand what i was saying.i also think it was because this woman on the programme was asking these rugby guys if they knew how long the average male penis was.It was all done with her grinning etc.And when she said the word e r e c t i o n i got this anxiety and was scared i was going to get turned on (ocd thought),but didnt.That was my ocd reaction i think.

i think you may have your answer then now you can relable refocus and move on

[Caramoole]

my suggestion would be,that you consider what i was saying in my last posts,regarding me trying to understand what happened last night.I really dont want to be told it was all ocd

You seem very certain about what you want to be told and what not!! I'm afraid the forum doesn't work like that.

As I've mentioned before Cat, this is where we have a problem because every new thought and feeling that you have, you're here and asking about it. That will bring you back here every day, several times a day questioning the thoughts each day throws at you.

You don't have to analyse every thought and feeling you experience, OCD or not. I know you think it's information seeking, my opinion differs.

We can't and shouldn't allow a situation to occur where you rely on others to the level you are doing right now.

I think there were 4 threads set invisible yesterday evening saying "Please help me, I'm so anxious"....and yet the next day you always state you weren't.

As Lawrie mentioned the other day, it's often like walking on eggshells making a response. It seems that we don't offer what you need. Conversely, we won't offer the type of response you think you should have.....so it leaves us with a bit of a dilema.

[Guest Duckfoot]

Hi Caramoole

theoretically i must say i agree, that it is not helping to post with every new worry but where i personally have taken the time to try and help cat today i haven't done it in a 'say what she wants to hear' kind of way.. i hope lol i simply adopted the attitude i have when i usually reply to posts, i say what i think and if it's not appreciated or whatever then thats not my problem, i've tried.

I can't really put my thoughts into words, my head feels like its been through a mangle lol

i'm not having a go at ANYONE here, so before i get shouted at or something i'm going to go :blushing:

[Caramoole]

Hi Nim....No need to explain

I'm looking at the general picture rather than a specific question.....and I do think that there is a dependency on others to make Cat feel better.

No need to run away

[Guest autumn girl]

What im confused about now,is how i know if the feelings i get are ocd or me.can anyone answer that? i mean,people whove recovered from their ocd should know the answer to that question right? i assume most people here when they recover will get bits of them mixed in with the ocd yes? thats what im getting now,and i dont know how to interpret it.This question has not been asked before legend,i have asked if the enjoyment feelings i had when i was spiking were ocd or not,yes.But thats not what im asking here.This situation last night was a mixture of me and ocd,and im trying to work out which bits were which,so i can treat the ocd accordingly.

Ok so you are saying now that you know when your thoughts are OCD, but you are now checking every single thought to see what that thought comes from and what that means??

Seriously are you analysing every single thought that pops into your head and categorising it in some way??

Trust me, people who don't suffer from OCD don't measure and analyse themselves like this, you are on your 20 page of going through all your thoughts with a fine tooth comb. Have you read back through this thread and read your posts too. Can you step back and see how confused you sound?

I don't really know what to say to be honest, I feel for you and I wish you could step back and view this thread objectively I really do.

xx

[Guest cat1]

hi caramoole,the only reason i said i didnt want to be told it was all ocd,was because i was trying to explain that i didnt post what happened last night for reassurance.I didnt say that i wanted anyone to say anything else in particular....i agree,i dont want to have to analyse every new thought and feeling.But when i get a situation where i have some ocd and some that might not have been,how would u suggest dealing with it? thats what im asking here.I havent said that i wasnt anxious last night,but what i did say earlier on,was that i was anxious as i was misunderstood and ignored,not because of my ocd,theyre two different things.Are u saying that your not willing to tell me how you think i should handle situations like last night? as i dont think youve answered what i asked about that yet.

You seem very certain about what you want to be told and what not!! I'm afraid the forum doesn't work like that.

As I've mentioned before Cat, this is where we have a problem because every new thought and feeling that you have, you're here and asking about it. That will bring you back here every day, several times a day questioning the thoughts each day throws at you.

You don't have to analyse every thought and feeling you experience, OCD or not. I know you think it's information seeking, my opinion differs.

We can't and shouldn't allow a situation to occur where you rely on others to the level you are doing right now.

I think there were 4 threads set invisible yesterday evening saying "Please help me, I'm so anxious"....and yet the next day you always state you weren't.

As Lawrie mentioned the other day, it's often like walking on eggshells making a response. It seems that we don't offer what you need. Conversely, we won't offer the type of response you think you should have.....so it leaves us with a bit of a dilema.

[Guest cat1]

autumgirl,i didnt say that i am checking every thought when it comes in and analysing it.I said that i wasnt sure how to interpret the feelings i had last night,ie if they were an ocd response or not.Those are the bits i wasnt sure how to interpret in the quote you have put here.Yes i have done a lot of analysing on this thread.But today and last night i was trying to work out which bits were ocd and which werent,so i knew how to treat them.I think how ive explained it now is clear,yes? yes i can step back as youve said,which is why i have only posted two spikes in the last eight pages or so of this thread,a bit improvement i feel.But i do understand what your trying to say,and that youre trying to help me,i do appreciate that.

Ok so you are saying now that you know when your thoughts are OCD, but you are now checking every single thought to see what that thought comes from and what that means??

Seriously are you analysing every single thought that pops into your head and categorising it in some way??

Trust me, people who don't suffer from OCD don't measure and analyse themselves like this, you are on your 20 page of going through all your thoughts with a fine tooth comb. Have you read back through this thread and read your posts too. Can you step back and see how confused you sound?

I don't really know what to say to be honest, I feel for you and I wish you could step back and view this thread objectively I really do.

xx

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest cat1]

this post better explains where im at now with my ocd,and what im asking...

hi nim,it matters as im trying to understand my illness and how it works,and which bits are me and which arent.Ive had a lot of great help from here on that.But am im recovering,im finding more and more situations where i have a mixture of ocd and non ocd responses.So i would like to know if anyone has experienced this.My thoughts were that this forum was for sharing experiences to help others,which is my intention.I believe now that i spiked myself as i was worried about the feelings of enjoyment i had,even though i knew they werent sexual,the feelings seemed alien to me.And then other ocd stuff came in then.

[Guest cat1]

i think thats the problem caramoole.I dont feel that you are looking at what i was asking last night,with the knowledge of where im at now with my ocd,but where i was then,when i was posting all my spikes here.Im not in that place now,what i was asking for last night wasnt reassurance,but a way through a confusing situation where i had some ocd and maybe some not ocd.I spoke to my mentor at no panic tonight and told her about the situation,and she seemed to understand where i was at,and that im having episodes where ocd is creeping in at times when im reacting normally to things and then going again and leaving me confused.And she didnt give me any reasurance.Im not sure why it seems that people on here cant understand whats happening to me now...

Hi Nim....No need to explain

I'm looking at the general picture rather than a specific question.....and I do think that there is a dependency on others to make Cat feel better.

No need to run away

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest autumn girl]

But today and last night i was trying to work out which bits were ocd and which werent

Often times I just don't know myself. I know what types of classic things can spike me but sometimes I can go along, down a route where I am worrying and anxious but because it's not something I typically spike about it's not automatically apparent.

OCD will fix on lots and lots of different things, indeed when you have a handle on one thing it seems to fix on another.

I understand your need to take control of this but I also think you need to relax your grip a little. Maybe try a new tactic, relax a little. Say to your brain "ok brain, this is what you want me to think right now is it, go ahead"....what's the worse that can happen if you make a bit of room in your brain for the thoughts to be there for a while. It will go away alot quicker that way than if you fight it

xx

[Guest legend]

no,autumgirl,i didnt say that i am checking every thought when it comes in and analysing it.I said that i wasnt sure how to interpret the feelings i had last night,ie if they were an ocd response or not.Those are the bits i wasnt sure how to interpret in the quote you have put here.Yes i have done a lot of analysing on this thread.But today and last night i was trying to work out which bits were ocd and which werent,so i knew how to treat them.I think how ive explained it now is clear,yes? yes i can step back as youve said,which is why i have only posted two spikes in the last eight pages or so of this thread,a bit improvement i feel.

as a ocd sufferer, and looking for a reasonably controlled life, you wouldnt look for what is ocd and what isnt,

in your case, because youre fine tooth combing it....which keeps you trapped

stop doing it.

stop posting, same questions, in a different disguise.

stop using the forums, as a crutch, its making your ocd worse.

step back, take on board, and for the sake of you, and your ocd, listen

[Guest cat1]

hi nim,i really apreciate you taking the time to help me,and to be willing to consider that where im at now with my ocd,is not where i was.Your replies did help me to work through what happened last night.However im still not sure how to deal with future situations such as that and thats what i would like help with now.(generally i mean)

Hi Caramoole

theoretically i must say i agree, that it is not helping to post with every new worry but where i personally have taken the time to try and help cat today i haven't done it in a 'say what she wants to hear' kind of way.. i hope lol i simply adopted the attitude i have when i usually reply to posts, i say what i think and if it's not appreciated or whatever then thats not my problem, i've tried.

I can't really put my thoughts into words, my head feels like its been through a mangle lol

i'm not having a go at ANYONE here, so before i get shouted at or something i'm going to go :blushing:

[Ashley]

Im not sure why it seems that people on here cant understand whats happening to me now...

Sorry Cat, but you need to turn that around. We can see very clearly what is happening, remember we have been where you are now. The problem is you can't see what is happening and that is why we are struggling to help you.

[Guest cat1]

so youre saying that i should have relabelled all of what i felt and thought last night as ocd and refocussed? i guess im wondering if thats a better way of dealing with it than dissecting it.Although after i had thought about it last night,i did get some answers pop up when i was less anxious,but because of my ocd,the doubts about that started again.I see now that its a cycle isnt it? i just find it difficult to identify what is ocd sometimes and dont know how to get past that.For instance,do i relabel ANY positive feelings about watching men on tv (obviously non sexual),as ocd or me?

as a ocd sufferer, and looking for a reasonably controlled life, you wouldnt look for what is ocd and what isnt,

in your case, because youre fine tooth combing it....which keeps you trapped

stop doing it.

stop posting, same questions, in a different disguise.

stop using the forums, as a crutch, its making your ocd worse.

step back, take on board, and for the sake of you, and your ocd, listen

[Guest cat1]

ok,if thats true,please explain to me what you think happened to me last night,ie which of it was ocd and which wasnt,as so far,i dont know.the reason i dont feel people understand,is because i feel people are saying to me,its all ocd,when i dont know if bits of it are.I do recognise that some bits were,but others bits are less clear.how do i treat those bits if you can see what i should do.please tell me.As all ive been told so far,is that im seeking reassurance and that its ocd.(apart from nims helpful responses).Noone seems to be even trying to understand what im asking about last nights situation.If i wanted reassurance i would know,but i dont and im not.If 100 people on here told me it was ocd,it wouldnt help me,as i am asking a different question.Also,if what u say is true,why is it that me no panic mentor can understand perfectly what im asking,and has talked it through with me,giving me no reassurance? yet noone has on here?

Sorry Cat, but you need to turn that around. We can see very clearly what is happening, remember we have been where you are now. The problem is you can't see what is happening and that is why we are struggling to help you.

Edited June 18, 2009 by Guest

[Guest cat1]

i would just like to say,that the feelings i was worried about last night,were nothing like the nice feelings i got with my other ocd spikes.They felt like me,thats why i thought they were me.does that make sense? i didnt post last night asking about those old feelings,as ive now accepted that they are part of my ocd.

as a ocd sufferer, and looking for a reasonably controlled life, you wouldnt look for what is ocd and what isnt,

in your case, because youre fine tooth combing it....which keeps you trapped

stop doing it.

stop posting, same questions, in a different disguise.

stop using the forums, as a crutch, its making your ocd worse.

step back, take on board, and for the sake of you, and your ocd, listen

[Guest autumn girl]

For instance,do i relabel ANY positive feelings about watching men on tv (obviously non sexual),as ocd or me?

Honestly Cat you must be absolutely exhausted!

The OCD logo is "it's ONLY a thought", again I don't really know what to say to help but try to focus on the ONLY.

You give your thoughts so much power, every one that comes into your head seems to be analysed and categorised in some way (although I know you have said that you don't do that but I believe you're contradicting yourself on that).....everyone has a million thoughts going through their head every day, most of which are dismissed as just not that important.

Stop giving them so much importance.

xx

[Ashley]

Also,if what u say is true,why is it that me no panic mentor can understand perfectly what im asking,and has talked it through with me,giving me no reassurance? yet noone has on here?

Well because I was not privy to such conversations I can't comment, but I will tell you this. I take phone calls from people who have called other organisations before they call OCD-UK, and the comment I get nearly every time is 'it is so great to talk to someone that actually understands OCD'.

I will repeat Cat, and this echo's what others have said, you need to stop blaming us for not understanding you, because I assure you we fully understand what is going on here and the problem is you don't and your OCD is not allowing you to accept anything but crystal clear answers, and when we don't give you those the OCD seeks other ways for reassurance.

[Guest legend]

ok,if thats true,please explain to me what you think happened to me last night,ie which of it was ocd and which wasnt,as so far,i dont know.the reason i dont feel people understand,is because i feel people are saying to me,its all ocd,when i dont know if bits of it are.I do recognise that some bits were,but others bits are less clear.how do i treat those bits if you can see what i should do.please tell me.As all ive been told so far,is that im seeking reassurance and that its ocd.(apart from nims helpful responses).Noone seems to be even trying to understand what im asking about last nights situation.If i wanted reassurance i would know,but i dont and im not.If 100 people on here told me it was ocd,it wouldnt help me,as i am asking a different question.Also,if what u say is true,why is it that me no panic mentor can understand perfectly what im asking,and has talked it through with me,giving me no reassurance? yet noone has on here?

carry on using no panic, no doubt, there response, are probably keeping you trapped,

if hes helping you, why do you post on here? probably because you doubt there answer, and your here just to make

sure, and your still doubting. STOP STOP STOP...........for gods sake stop....