Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Shell

Driving,hiv,pregnancy the list is never ending

Recommended Posts

I don't often post on here for fear that someone might know who i am but i must say that i regularly read the board which has been a great source of comfort to me.

Anyway, I am finding it difficult to enjoy anything at the moment. When i go out i often spend hours driving around for fear that i have knocked someone over. This has been an ongoing worry for years. In November i had a hiv test that was negative and now that fear has started up again because i have got a cold (which i think i caught from my mum) and had some ulcers and some little spots on my back. Since then i don't think i have done any risky behavior but have had a few drunken nights out that i can't remember which are worrying me. One morning after a drunk night out i woke up with a little mark on my wrist and now worry that someone could have injected me without my recollection. I was also with a few men that are friends of friends but they assure me that nothing happened between us. But this is where the pregnancy fear kicks in because i think maybe they lied, so i have taken the morning after pill on a number of occassions but worry about its effectiveness.

I know it would probably be better to give up drinking but my socal life seems to revolve round going to the pub so it is hard.

It just seems to be one worry after the other and these are only the main worries because there are stacks of others aswell

All i want to do is sleep all the time.

Share this post


Link to post

Hi shell

It sounds like you have got into a real pickle with regards to needing reassurance :) . You will probably know from this board that 'reassurance' can be a big problem with OCD. Now, tempting though it is to offer you some counter-arguments to your fears, I am going to resist! A far kinder, albeit more difficult approach for you is to ask you to challenge your fears yourself.

What is the evidence that you have HIV, have knocked someone down, are pregnant etc etc? You have to really challenge the rationality of your beliefs until you become convinced that your fears are not real. Whilst you are having ths 'argument' in your head, your anxiety levels will probably rise, but it is important to try and bear this anxiety until it eventually falls naturally - which it will.

Over time you will find it gets easier to more readily challenge all those negative and destructive fears and learn to trust your own judgement. The problem is that if I or anyone else simply reassures you, it serves only to temporarily ease your anxiety, until the next fear comes along, then the next and so on.

I know I went through a bad phase once where I was constantly having to contact people to make sure I hadn't offended them or something and it got a bit out of hand. Eventually I had to grasp the situation and start to trust myself that my behaviour had been OK and that I hadn't offended anyone in the slightest. It's hard though and I won't pretend it will be an easy ride for you.

I'm pleased you find some benefit from visiting the board and by all means just view posts as you please. But try to feel confident that you can also post in confidence and no one will judge you :huh: . You seem to have some fears about being recognised and I'm sorry about that. Is that a real possibility or one of your fears? I just wondered.

Your problem is very distressing to you and I genuinely do understand how much anxiety it generates. But if you can try and challenge all those fears I'm sure you would feel more energised and able to tackle life. As you have discovered, anxiety is absolutely draining :D

Good to hear from you

Catherine :hug:

Share this post


Link to post
I don't often post on here for fear that someone might know who i am but i must say that i regularly read the board which has been a great source of comfort to me.

In November i had a hiv test that was negative and now that fear has started up again because i have got a cold (which i think i caught from my mum) and had some ulcers and some little spots on my back.  Since then i don't think i have done any risky behavior but have had a few drunken nights out that i can't remember which are worrying me.  One morning after a drunk night out i woke up with a little mark on my wrist and now worry that someone could have injected me without my recollection.  I was also with a few men that are friends of friends but they assure me that nothing happened between us.  But this is where the pregnancy fear kicks in because i think maybe they lied,

It just seems to be one worry after the other and these are only the main worries because there are stacks of others aswell

All i want to do is sleep all the time.

27513[/snapback]

Hi. I could have written that myself!...ha ha!..Those are exactly the things I worry about. When I got my navel pierced I was fine, and then about 3 months after I saw a programme in which someone got an infection from a pierced naval, and so I convinced myslef I had HIV. I used to cry for hours with it, and had difficulty concentrating on university lectures. I spoke to my doctor about it, and they said that I was in the very low risk category, and so a test would be pointless.

As with your problem, I always worry about people lying to me, and admit to have taken a pregnancy test before even though it was impossible I was pregnant. I have to have constant reassurance.

Are you receiving treatment for OCD?..my specialist is fantastic, and really helped put my mind at ease!

If you want to talk about anything just message me!..Like to help! :D

Best Wishes!

Kelly

Share this post


Link to post
Hi shell

It sounds like you have got into a real pickle with regards to needing reassurance :D . You will probably know from this board that 'reassurance' can be a big problem with OCD. Now, tempting though it is to offer you some counter-arguments to your fears, I am going to resist! A far kinder, albeit more difficult approach for you is to ask you to challenge your fears yourself.

What is the evidence that you have HIV, have knocked someone down, are pregnant etc etc? You have to really challenge the rationality of your beliefs until you become convinced that your fears are not real. Whilst you are having ths 'argument' in your head, your anxiety levels will probably rise, but it is important to try and bear this anxiety until it eventually falls naturally - which it will.

Over time you will find it gets easier to more readily challenge all those negative and destructive fears and learn to trust your own judgement. The problem is that if I or anyone else simply reassures you, it serves only to temporarily ease your anxiety, until the next fear comes along, then the next and so on.

I know I went through a bad phase once where I was constantly having to contact people to make sure I hadn't offended them or something and it got a bit out of hand. Eventually I had to grasp the situation and start to trust myself that my behaviour had been OK and that I hadn't offended anyone in the slightest. It's hard though and I won't pretend it will be an easy ride for you.

I'm pleased you find some benefit from visiting the board and by all means just view posts as you please. But try to feel confident that you can also post in confidence and no one will judge you :) . You seem to have some fears about being recognised and I'm sorry about that. Is that a real possibility or one of your fears? I just wondered.

Your problem is very distressing to you and I genuinely do understand how much anxiety it generates. But if you can try and challenge all those fears I'm sure you would feel more energised and able to tackle life. As you have discovered, anxiety is absolutely draining :(

Good to hear from you

Catherine :)

27527[/snapback]

Hi Catherine

Thanks for your reply. I think i was expecting lots of reassurance which i know would falsely calm my fears. I am glad that you did not give me that reassurance though. I know that it never works. For instance i can be out driving and turn back because i think i have knocked someone over and when turning back and gaining some reassurance i go over another bump which i then start to worry about and my concern switches to that instead. It is so draining and as i am sure you will understand often leaves you feeling physically sick with tiredness. Thank you so much for your advice and i will try and put it into practice the next time an attack comes along.

As for people finding out my identity i think that is to do with ocd aswell really (however i do share a computer and i sometimes worry how much the computer stores). i think i am getting over this a bit now as i am starting to post a lot more.

Thanks again for your reply i really appreciated it :)

Share this post


Link to post
I don't often post on here for fear that someone might know who i am but i must say that i regularly read the board which has been a great source of comfort to me.

In November i had a hiv test that was negative and now that fear has started up again because i have got a cold (which i think i caught from my mum) and had some ulcers and some little spots on my back.  Since then i don't think i have done any risky behavior but have had a few drunken nights out that i can't remember which are worrying me.  One morning after a drunk night out i woke up with a little mark on my wrist and now worry that someone could have injected me without my recollection.  I was also with a few men that are friends of friends but they assure me that nothing happened between us.  But this is where the pregnancy fear kicks in because i think maybe they lied,

It just seems to be one worry after the other and these are only the main worries because there are stacks of others aswell

All i want to do is sleep all the time.

27513[/snapback]

Hi. I could have written that myself!...ha ha!..Those are exactly the things I worry about. When I got my navel pierced I was fine, and then about 3 months after I saw a programme in which someone got an infection from a pierced naval, and so I convinced myslef I had HIV. I used to cry for hours with it, and had difficulty concentrating on university lectures. I spoke to my doctor about it, and they said that I was in the very low risk category, and so a test would be pointless.

As with your problem, I always worry about people lying to me, and admit to have taken a pregnancy test before even though it was impossible I was pregnant. I have to have constant reassurance.

Are you receiving treatment for OCD?..my specialist is fantastic, and really helped put my mind at ease!

If you want to talk about anything just message me!..Like to help! :D

Best Wishes!

Kelly

27717[/snapback]

Hi Kelly

Thanks for your message sometimes it really helps to know you are not alone!

Am having CBT at the moment - is that the treatment you are having from your specialist?

Share this post


Link to post
I don't often post on here for fear that someone might know who i am but i must say that i regularly read the board which has been a great source of comfort to me.

Anyway, I am finding it difficult to enjoy anything at the moment.  When i go out i often spend hours driving around for fear that i have knocked someone over.  This has been an ongoing worry for years.  In November i had a hiv test that was negative and now that fear has started up again because i have got a cold (which i think i caught from my mum) and had some ulcers and some little spots on my back.  Since then i don't think i have done any risky behavior but have had a few drunken nights out that i can't remember which are worrying me.  One morning after a drunk night out i woke up with a little mark on my wrist and now worry that someone could have injected me without my recollection.  I was also with a few men that are friends of friends but they assure me that nothing happened between us.  But this is where the pregnancy fear kicks in because i think maybe they lied, so i have taken the morning after pill on a number of occassions but worry about its effectiveness. 

I know it would probably be better to give up drinking but my socal life seems to revolve round going to the pub so it is hard.

It just seems to be one worry after the other and these are only the main worries because there are stacks of others aswell

All i want to do is sleep all the time.

27513[/snapback]

Hi Shell

Just like to say I know exactly where you are coming from! Apart from the driving thing the others are all some of my worries, except I have never had an HIV test because although I'm scared of having it I'm also scared of having a test too! Even though I have racked my brains and rationally I know I shouldn't have it that doesn't stop the ocd! I'm not so bad on the pregnancy one now I'm married but when I still lived at home I remember the absolute fear I felt over this one. Also the drinking thing. I have spent days churning myself inside out trying to remember every last thing that happened which is impossible as a) i was often too drunk to remember anyway and b) no one could ever remember everything they had done in an evening! But I know what you mean it just makes you want to stay in bed and never get out doesn't it?

brainstrain :omg:

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...