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Do i have CSP?


Guest FallenAngel84

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Guest FallenAngel84

I find this really embarrassing.

Ive only recently heard of CSP and just cheked it out today, im a little usure though, i dont know, could really do with some help people please.

Ok, well ive always thought i was just an odd person with some grotesque fascination of picking at my face.

I may have mild acne, im not sure, but i pick at everything which makes it all look 10 times worse. If i find a blemish anywhere i have to pick at it, whether i squeeze it or scratch it away making scabs i cant leave anything alone. Feel like i need to get it off me and i just cant stand it, they make me feel so ugly and disgusting. I have to get them out.

Im not sure how long i spend doing it, but i probably spend 5 mins in the morning, ill do it 3/4 times in the evenings when i walk past the mirror, and then 10.15 before i go to bed. Its not like hours at a time but i do it often. When im in work im always touching my face coz i can feel something and i wanna pick at myself. does my head in.

Ive worn make up everyday since i was about 15 to hide this. In 6 years only my mum and nan have ever seen me without make up. If i sleep over somewhere or someone stays here i have to sleep with make up on. i hate it. I do my make up again in the evening if my boyfriend is coming round.

Even as a child id pick and pick at scabs until they were infected, i have scars on my legs because of it.

I dont know why. I dont feel noticably anxious or anything before. I dont feel anything really, but i feel something on my body and i have to go pick it.

I have depression and i self harm, currently on anti-depressants, waiting to see a psychotherapist, again, and have seen a psychiatrist(for my depression ad self harm) who dissmissed me as having emotional problems. So its probably linked to the depression?? Oh, and ive never mentioned this to anybody before.

Sorry this is so long.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

x

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I find this really embarrassing.

Ive only recently heard of CSP and just cheked it out today, im a little usure though, i dont know, could really do with some help people please.

Ok, well ive always thought i was just an odd person with some grotesque fascination of picking at my face.

I may have mild acne, im not sure, but i pick at everything which makes it all look 10 times worse.  If i find a blemish anywhere i have to pick at it, whether i squeeze it or scratch it away making scabs i cant leave anything alone.  Feel like i need to get it off me and i just cant stand it, they make me feel so ugly and disgusting.  I have to get them out.

Im not sure how long i spend doing it, but i probably spend 5 mins in the morning,  ill do it 3/4 times in the evenings when i walk past the mirror, and then 10.15 before i go to bed.  Its not like hours at a time but i do it often.  When im in work im always touching my face coz i can feel something and i wanna pick at myself.  does my head in.

Ive worn make up everyday since i was about 15 to hide this.  In 6 years only my mum and nan have ever seen me without make up.   If i sleep over somewhere or someone stays here i have to sleep with make up on.  i hate it.  I do my make up again in the evening if my boyfriend is coming round.

Even as a child id pick and pick at scabs until they were infected, i have scars on my legs because of it.

I dont know why.  I dont feel noticably anxious or anything before. I dont feel anything really, but i feel something on my body and i have to go pick it.

I have depression and i self harm, currently on anti-depressants, waiting to see a psychotherapist, again, and have seen a psychiatrist(for my depression ad self harm) who dissmissed me as having emotional problems.  So its probably linked to the depression??  Oh, and ive never mentioned this to anybody before.

Sorry this is so long.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

x

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Hi there FallenAngel and welcome from me :thumbup:

I'm by no means an expert on CSP - but from what you describe it certainly does sound like you suffer from it. Please don't feel embarrased - you're not alone anymore :)

I'm slightly concerned by the fact that you said your psychiatrist just dismissed you as having emotional problems. Did he/she give you any more help/info at all? Your problems with skin picking could be related to depression and self harm as well. I SH too, so I do understand where you're at right now ((hugs)).

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you along - there's some lovely folks on here who will always help you if you're struggling or in need of advice.

Take really good care

Queenie

xxx

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Guest day_enthusiast

Hi fallen angel! (sorry!!!)

I know where you're coming from and I think you may have CSP. Your symptoms sound quite a bit like mine in that they started early and are the subject of sucrecy. I think I'll quote the idea of what someone else said to me earlier and that is that if it interferes with your life, you have the problem. Picking the occasional scab isn't CSP but having to pick even though it causes you problems and distress is.

I'm no expert on dealing with any of this **** by any means but if I can be of any help at all, just say! If nothing else, I'll comiserate with you ha!

bonne courage!

dee

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Guest FallenAngel84

Thank you both for your replies. Really appreciate what youve both said.

Not sure ive got the courage to address this sibject with my gp but its a little releif to know there could be a reason to why im doing this.

Queenie-yes basically he told me after 20mins of questions about my life situation and past that im "not the sort of person that needs medication".(despite feeling depressed, self harming and sometimes suicidal for 10 months for no apparent reason). And wrote a letter to my gp saying that i should be referred to a psychologist for my mild depression thats more of an emotional problem that mental illness.

But as psychologists take forever and a day to get appointments with im waiting to see my old psychotherapist(who stopped seeing me after an appointment mix up and was then too busy to contact me).

Oh and after an arguement with my gp she tried me on another medication which seems to be helping a bit.

Anyway enough of my moaning!!!!

thanx again.

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Guest day_enthusiast

Justa little question fallen:

What medication is it that's helping? Did your Gp say that it had to do with saratonin levels in the brain? I read this book the other day about how saratonin affects the brain and it was saying low saratonin manifests itself as CSP and self harm often. Any ideas?

Don't think you're moaning! I'm glad to hear anything you ahve to say!

glad things are a little better!

dee

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Guest FallenAngel84

My gp seems to be trying to get me help, but there is little available and what there is seems to be rubbish. For example, i was told the psych i saw was the only one that 'could' see me, then the gp had a battle to get him to. doesnt make sense to me.

Anyway, medication im on at the mo is Sertraline, brand name Lustral, at 50mg a day.

Day_Enthusiast- I think low serotinin generally leads to depression, which is why i self harm. Im not sure if people have OCD without depression, i dont know much about OCD, but its an anxiety disorder isnt it?? But the Sertraline is a 'selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor' type of anti depressant which will help that and its also used for OCD too.

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Guest FallenAngel84

ohhh right, thank you.

Yes i should think about seeing someone else, whether thats another gp or another psychiatrist.

It all takes soooo long.

thanx again everyone

xx

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