coming to get me

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hello!

I just wanted to know if anyone else has these worries!

When I was little I used to drive my mum mad because I was so scared about going to bed and regularly convinced myself that someone was going to climb up the drain pipe smash the window and 'get me'!

Now it has come back except I lay in bed getting all hot and hysterical having images of someone - sometimes my ex but otherwise a stanger - coming in through the front door and up to the bedroom and either stabbing my husband and me or shooting us, but now I'm more scared about them hurting hubby than me.

I also get scared about going home and indoors on my own, for instance, hubby is working til late tonight so I am sitting at my mum's until he comes home! Eventhough I have a mountain of washing up to do and lots of washing I can't bring myself to leave mum's til I know he's gonna be there! I just think there is going to be someone waiting outside for me or even inside! Once I'm inside if I hear a car pull up outside - even if I'm not alone - it really puts me on edge, especially as we seem to have loads of people who leave their cars running for ages in our road. I can't seem to relax until the noise has stopped. Although I try to stop myself, sometimes I have to look out the window just to check it is a familiar car to the road!

Does this sound familiar to anyone? After reading what I have just written I think I can be safe in the knowledge that I definately have ocd and have had it for quite some time!!!!

[Guest summerleft]

I do get those kind of thoughts too so dont worry your not alone , although i do dismiss them mostly as there are more pressing worries my ocd comes up with.

I will pick out danger in any situation and sometimes even think its like foresight but it never happens

so dont worry your not the only one :grin:

[Guest bigkeefer]

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Hi Brainstrain (love the nickname! )

Yes, you are not alone. Very much in the past, and occasionally still now (if sometimes my grip slips off the cage door, where I keep my OCD buried deep down inside me) I have experienced almost identical feelings!

In fact thinking back - it was when my OCD was at its worse that I would have these feelings flood through me leading to panic. This I would put down to "Pure-O" OCD which, unfortunately in my case, lead to another form of OCD (which I won't mention here as I do not wish to give your OCD any ideas!) which gave it a double edged attack on me.

I remember one night when I was on my own and had got into a state already that night and then I heard a car running outside at 1am... The so and so's were out there for AGES - simply sitting in the car and running the engine etc. Then they turned it off and sat there still...

Of course I was convinced it was someone "casing the joint" - and sat up until daylight in a right state!!!! (I remember drinking 7 cans of Red Bull at work the next day and still falling asleep in my chair several times. How I never got the sack was beyond me!!)

Of course it was nothing of the sort and quite innocent (in the cold light of day I was better equipped to argue with the Imp and in fact remembered countless times when I was much younger when someone would give me a lift home and, instead of me going in, we would stay in the car putting the world to rights!) and it was just OCD raking up every worse case scenario that I had ever seen in some cheesy film or drama!

I also had to check every room (and every possible hiding place in said room) to make sure no-one was hiding there when I came back to the house! (ESPECIALLY if I was coming back in the dark!)

Actually, just remembering how I was back then fills me with a memory of the clawing fear that you are currently battling with Brainstrain so I know where you're coming from...

But stop here a minute...And then re-read that last sentance. Key words are "how i was" !

Yup, I still have my moments but, on the whole, after a mighty I manage to keep the fear to a inaudible whisper (which I then dismiss as flotsam & jetsam in the river of the brain).

I won't kid you - it will take months, possibly years, but you CAN overcome this...

I should also point out at this point that I am not a preacher and I can't lay a virtual hand on your and cure you :lol2: (Although I wish I could cure people with this curse in such a manner!)

But what I AM trying to give you is HOPE. Because OCD tries to shred it.

OK - here's the hard bit, and I'm afraid you'll hearing me (and others) say this a lot on this site, and that is to beat this - you have to face it!

There is no other way. I know it's hard but you start at the easiest bit first and move on up.

I would suggest making a mental list of all the fears and what rituals (looking outside the window to see if you recognise a neighbours car etc.) you perform to satisfy (calm) those fears.

Then, starting with the easiest first, try and either stop or cut down the rituals you perform. For instance - if you look outside the window 5 times a night, cut it down to 3...

For the Pure-O (when you're lying in bed thinking of people trying to stab you etc.) Counter attack a nasty thought with a nice one. E.g. when a nasty thought slides in about an attacker - think of all the millions and millions of people who have just put their hand in their pocket to help in the Tsunami appeal. 'Cos hey! If people can do that - the world can't be ALL bad can it? Surely for every nasty person there is 500,000 nice ones? Think of the people who stop to help people in the street who faint etc.

Start with these little battles first and then move on to bigger battles (such as going to yours and not your Mum's place) and then finally the war.

OCD will try to make you concentrate on the dark side (I'm not really a Star Wars nut you know!) of human nature - counter attack with good thoughts. Remember your favourite feel-good movie moments etc. Anything to dismiss the bad thought as quickly as possible.

Because that's what happens with us OCD'ers. EVERYBODY has similar thoughts at some point or other (this has been proven in numerous studies). The only difference is that "normal" people dismiss it as quickly as it arrived!

And that's what we have to learn to do again mate!

It's a long journey - but everyone here is here to help you!

Erm, those of you who may remember me from before - yes, Im afraid big-Tolstoy-keefer is back! Apologies for the long posts is a given....

[Ashley]

Erm, those of you who may remember me from before - yes, Im afraid big-Tolstoy-keefer is back! Apologies for the long posts is a given....

28484[/snapback]

There goes my bandwidth....

Welcome back bud

[Guest gemgem]

im kinda embarrassed to admit this coz its so stupid, but i always think that either wen im askleep or wen im out, ppl would want to break in and pee in my wardrobe n bed and use my loo

[Guest Brainstrain]

To bigkeefer and others

Thanks for the strategies I'm already doing quite well on the looking out the window thing but the idea for getting rid of the thoughts with thinking of the tsunami appeal was very useful. Thank you for taking the time to reply!

brainstrain

p.s glad you like the name!

[Guest Brainstrain]

im kinda embarrassed to admit this coz its so stupid, but i always think that either wen im askleep or wen im out, ppl would want to break in and pee in my wardrobe n bed  and use my loo

28502[/snapback]

Hi gem-gem

Something that has been happening to me recently which is a bit similar, I have found myself coming home and thinking someone has been moving my dirty washing around or taking it out of my washing bin! I have to really try to remember how it was before I went out including asking my mr. how he remembers it! Luckily he see's my madness as quite endearing I think!!!!!

brainstrain :omg:

[Guest gemgem]

my fella always says to me:

''if sum1 broke in would they pee in yr bed or rob yr telly?!''

[Guest bigkeefer]

There goes my bandwidth...

:lol2: Better also allocate another 10 gig or so of storage for the forum database :crybaby:

Welcome back bud

cheers mate! :crybaby:

Thanks for the strategies I'm already doing quite well on the looking out the window thing but the idea for getting rid of the thoughts with thinking of the tsunami appeal was very useful. Thank you for taking the time to reply!

My pleasure Brainstrain. I'm glad it helped. Another thing I do when Pure-O tries to take over is to keep the mind occupied with something else. Read a book, watch a film. Music. Best thing of all for me is COMEDY. Think of your funniest moments in a film (Monty Python films always does it for me :crybaby:) or sitcom - anyting to remind you of the good things in life. I'm definately a believer in the "laughter is medicine" theory.

Whatever you use - remember to try and NOT focus on the bad thoughts. Think of your thoughts like items on a conveyor belt like in the Generation Game (baggsie having the cuddly toy!) or, if you're not as old as me to remember such quality TV programming, a supermarket.

The cool/nice things on the belt you can pick up and ruminate on (these are the things you wanted in the Generation Game or the items you want to take home in the shopping bags ) but the horrible thoughts - hey, just leave those on the belt so they can just keeeeep on going into oblivion (these would be the tacky things in the Generation Game and non-essential items in the Supermarket such as vegetables, cereals, rice instead of beer, nibbles & chocolate )

Hmm. Hope that came over right Maybe it's too late for analogies :grin:

Anyways - either way - keep on fighting the good fight!

im kinda embarrassed to admit this coz its so stupid

Don't worry gemgem - that's OCD for you!! I bet everyone here has had a thought/worry at some time or other that would equal your one here. I know I have! Erm, I might tell you one day

:grin:

Sleep well all!

[Guest Dennis912]

Hi keefer,

You said alot of positive things -> thank you

But, I have the opposite thoughts, she felt someone was coming into her house

I think it's me, I know it's foolish - I'll never do it, it's silly ect....

I tried all the things you said, but I just can't shake these thoughts..

Dennis..

[Guest Brainstrain]

or sitcom - anyting to remind you of the good things in life. I'm definately a believer in the "laughter is medicine" theory.

HI bigkeefer

It's funny you should say that cos I'm getting kinda obsessed with watching old episodes of Friends and Only Fools and Horses which is driving my man a bit mad! It's like I can't possibly watch anything else which might make me think of anything 'deep'! As soon as I turn the telly on I just wanna watch 'something funny'! My poor little husband! He is rarely 'allowed' to watch anything remotely dramatic!

brainstrain :blushing:

[Guest bigkeefer]

Hi Dennis,

I know what you mean exactly - but bear in mind that the object is not to shake the thougts - but "simply" to try and train your brain to ignore them.

You see the thing that causes the anxiety is the fact that we can't bear to HAVE these thoughts. It spawns all other kinds of thoughts like: am I bad a person for having these thoughts? Am I evil? etc. etc.

Of course, as we all know (at least deep down we do), OCD'ers are the LEAST likely people to actually ACT on these thoughts. Do you think real life attackers spend 20 years of their life worrying about whether they WILL do something? Or do they just simply go out and do it? It's the latter without the doubt.

So the real trick is to actually ACCEPT we have these thoughts. Accept that we will never act on them. Accept that they are simply flotsam & jetsam in the river of the mind and let them flow on by into obscurity where they belong.

As an example - if I tell you NOT to think of a pink elephant - what will you do? You've already pictured one haven't you?

Same as if I told someone with vertigo to stand at the edge of the grand canyon - and then tell them NOT to look down and NOT to think of tripping over the edge. There is NO WAY that thought is NOT going to come is there? The trick is not to CLING to that thought and go over and over it like a washing machine stuck in spin. This is when the anxiety WILL build up and make sure that the washing machine stays in spin!!!

So if you make the object of the "game" to NOT have these thoughts at all - you are embarking on a battle that you will never win. Instead you should be aiming to NOT CARE that you have these thoughts. Your brain will then give up sending, or at least decrease the intensity, of the thoughts.

I know it's easier said than done - but you have to start training your brain to not care about the thoughts you have. Repugnant as you may think they are - simply let them come. Let them flood into you if they want...Same way an arachnophobic would eventually let spiders flood over him to get over the fear.

Say to your brain:

BRING IT ON!

I KNOW I"M NOT GOING TO DO IT - IT'S JUST THOUGHTS.

I DON'T CARE!

THOUGHTS DO NOT MAKE ACTION!

and then let the thought GO.

The thinking of something else (pleasant memory etc.) watching films/comedy etc. are simply a TOOL to help you let the thought slide on by quicker. i.e. if a thought comes - brush it aside and try and pick up a book as if to say to your brain "I've acknowledged the thought - but it's unimportant as it was a silly thought thus I am concentrating on something else worthwhile and ignoring it."

Hmm. Hope some of this makes sense mate. It's :mad2: hard to try and explain how I overcome these thoughts etc. in words....

But I'll keep on trying!

Best we can do - keep fighting mate.

Hi Brainstrain!

Friends? Friends?? You must have missed my point mate - I said watch some COMEDY! :lol2:

hehe. Nah - only joking brainstrain - I understand that an awful lot of people find that programme funny (I'm just not one of them

I can't really talk about watching TOO much telly at the moment either -- as I am finding myself being rather sad and watching back to back episodes of Angel (season 1 onwards!) at the moment. There's nothing like a nice bit of escapism is there?

BUT - I guess we have to bear in mind not to escape from reality tooooo much eh? 'Cos at some point we have to come back to the real one....

Still - I still think laughter is the best cure, so knock yourself out I say!

Keep smiling.