Relapse?

[Guest Muggle]

Hi there - this is my first post for 6 months. I thought I wouldn't need to come back to the site - but then OCd never ever goes?? It just lurks?

Anyway, I thought I shifted most of my OCD a few months ago. I came to the narural end to my CBT and medication (SSRIs). I feel absolutely 90% beter - better in myself. Although I can feel little blips still. I can feel myself consciously having to work every day to battle OCD. It's a tough nut to crack. I thought it would just go - 100%! I work at the little things - and the old ones surface and bubble away.

Has anybody got rid of everything 100% ever - or am I just being a perfectionist here?? It's starting to get me down. I try to get rid of the residual bits and pieces but its so damn hard. I just don't feel as thought I can plan my life here - as I don't know if I'm going to be genetically predisposed to this thing forever - or whether it is possible to get rid of it all together.

Muggle :help:

[catherine]

Hi muggle

There are people who I'm sure have completely recovered from their OCD, but they probably don't need to visit this board anymore . I do know of one or two people who fully recovered, but this perhaps needs to be put into context. Certainly the people I know of had fairly 'contained' OCD in that they possibly had just one specific problem or it was related to a particular time in their life such as a trauma or pregnancy. With treatment (CBT and/or meds), it is estimated that about 80% of patients respond either wholly or partially which is pretty good. But it is also my personal belief that there are an awful lot of those 80% who may be prone to a relapse given the 'right' circumstances. For instance the loss of a loved one may cause an OCD relapse. Similarly I think there are a significant number of sufferers whose life is characterised by 'good' OCD phases and 'bad' phases maybe for no apparent reason. I know this even with my own OCD. For example, I always generalise about having had OCD for 25 years, and yet I can look back over that time and recognise it has not been a steady pattern. If you imagine it as a graph, it has been characterised by peaks and troughs or highs and lows. It has certainly not been a steady line.

So I think what I'm trying to say is that everyone is different . You may still be one of the lucky ones and eventually make a full recovery, or you may be prone to little relapses along the way. Equally you may reach a point where as you say you feel 90% better but you never quite reach that golden 100%. I certainly do not view OCD as necessarily being an all or nothing condition. We all sit on various points along the spectrum and may travel up and down it over the course of our life!

You need really to have a think about how you go about trying to get that extra 10% better, but it sounds like you're beating yourself up about it a bit at the moment . That in itself may actually be aggravating your OCD tendancies and it may be worth trying to be a bit kinder to yourself and 'going with the flow'. It's worth a try because you never know, it may well help you get a bit nearer the magical 100%!

I do hope you make it and do remember to come back and see us so you can confirm the answer to your own quesion :lol2:

Catherine

[Guest bigkeefer]

Hi Muggle,

Hard to say this one. To start with I thought OCD might be a bit like Chicken Pox. You think you've got rid of it - but there will always be a little trace lying dormant in you, never fully dying.

My contamination OCD, for example, I think I have got rid of. But, every now and then, just once occasionally, I will get the old thoughts flick through my mind... perhaps when a customer's dog will lick my arm or something (1st thought:ugh. Second thought: where has that tongue just been?) - but with me now - that is where it stops (2nd thought). The third thought will now be "Ah well - the owners are still alive - so what the hey!" and I move on with my day and forget about it.

On a particularly bad day I might even feel the cold misty fingers of fear try to raise up and grab hold of my brain to force me to hold on to the thoughts - to escalate them. But I still stick with the "3rd thought" and move on.

So initially - I used to think that OCD will always be there but I now have it "under control". And that's OK - I can accept that and live with it because I can still do "normal' things. i.e. it's not impacting my life anymore.

However - now, I think somewhat differently.

I think it is totally unrealistic of us to "get rid of OCD forever". Why? Because "normal" people have these thoughts too!!

The trouble is - we get so wrapped up in believing our own (OCD) thoughts are to be hidden all the time - that we forget that maybe "normal" people have them too.

e.g. Do you think that other "normal" non-dog owners don't have the same "Ewe!" thoughts when a slobbery dog licks their arm? I bet they do! In fact, I bet they even have thought 2 as well! But then, I suspect, they dismiss it.

Well - that's what I do now! So I have effectively rid myself of contamination OCD! But I STILL have the initial thoughts of "Ewe!" - but then everyone else does! So THAT is actually the "norm". Not getting rid of the thoughts all together. That would, in fact, be abnormal in many ways! You would indeed be super-human if you could cut off all unwanted thoughts! No human can do that.

So don't get disheartened by that fact you have not eradicated the thoughts completely mate! I would say this is actually an impossible task - because the human brain will always have thoughts like this!

Instead rejoice in the fact that you no longer have to perform the rituals etc. to lower the fear level!

In other words: your brain is now functioning in a similar way to a "non-OCDer" brain!

[Caramoole]

I think that jointly Catherine and BigKeefer have sort of wrapped up all the points I feel.

I think we always have the propensity for OCD, I think it is part of my genetic make-up, just as someone else may have diabetes. It's how we react that is probably the most important. A diabetic is diagnosed and through medication/diet/insulin etc, is controlled and in charge of the condition, it doesn't go away.

I feel (and it's personal opinion) that with OCD our brains work in a particular way, I can alter the mood and even the chemistry but I will always have a pre-disposition towards OCD episodes given certain conditions. I have had a particularly annoying OCD Hacker attempt today....I'm working on it and using the knowledge and tools at my disposal. As BK says, you learn to adapt your response and try to remember that even 'Normal' people have similar worries.

Try not to be too disheartened Muggle, you still sound to be in charge

[Guest napo100383]

Hi Ya,

I get OCD in lapses so it goes completely away for ages and then BANG comes back but i only have pure o.

[Guest ScottOCDid]

Hi Muggle,

I really like your username!

There's lots of wise words above so I'll keep my post brief...

Although it's always harder in practice than in principle, try to celebrate how far you have come in your fight against OCD - rather than dwelling on what may or may not still be there. It's a huge achievement that you have made; just look at the "blips" in the context that everyone (suffer or not) has ups and downs - but it's having more of the former that's important!!!

Well done,

Scott