Jump to content

bad night


Guest Brainstrain

Recommended Posts

Guest Brainstrain

Hi everyone

Sorry this is a bit of a needy message but I'm feeling pretty poo!

Tonight I went to a party, an uncle in law's fiftieth. Now everyone knows that his wife can be 'funny' towards people. The first time I met her at a party over two years ago she scared the c*** out of me and I don't see her very often but at my wedding last year she totally ignored me which I had kind of forgotten about. Then tonight - the first time I have seen her since - she did the same thing again.

Now I know you're probably thinking that I am just being paranoid and the ocd is making me think this but everyone with me noticed too! We arrived with my brother in law and his girlfriend who got hugs and kisses and were introduced to various people. She looked straight through me literally and barely said hello to my hubby! Then every time she came over to talk to the others she deliberately wouldn't look at me even though I was looking straight at her trying to get eye contact and smile at her. Then when we were leaving I said bye and she walked straight past me without saying anything and kissed the bro in law and his mrs goodbye!

Now I suppose a normal person would just think, oh moody cow, but of course I can't! So now I am frantically trying to think of reasons she could have for not liking me! What did I say to her at that first party that could have put her off me? Does she think I'm a gold digger (Even though we are as broke as each other)? How can I find out what is wrong? They aren't people we see often - well only seen them four times in 2 1/2 years so I can't just ring up out of the blue and 'check' that everything is ok! This is really doing my head in - and it was the first night where I thought I would be sensible and not drink so that I would remember exactly what happened so the ocd couldn't try and trick me and this happens!

Help me!

Brainstrain :censored:

Link to comment
Guest Smudger
  Now everyone knows that his wife can be 'funny' towards people. 

29615[/snapback]

Hey Brainstrain :censored:

The above quote says it all-the problem is her, not you.

I know a couple of people who are exactly the same, and to me they seem to be a combination of over-inflated self importance, and a need to be the centre of everything. Without actually knowing this person I can't really say a lot more, other than I know the 'type'. At least that was the mental impression I got from your brief description.

If I'm right about the kind of person she is, then you're probably right-you did do something, but it's not your fault. It's probably something completely ridiculous, like the first time you met you didn't compliment her on her shoes or something equally pathetic, and that just set her off.

But like I say, I don't know her so I could be waaaaaay off.

Anyway-if she has got a problem with you, she should come out and say it, and not be so mean.

Link to comment
Guest Brainstrain
  Now everyone knows that his wife can be 'funny' towards people. 

29615[/snapback]

Hey Brainstrain :censored:

The above quote says it all-the problem is her, not you.

I know a couple of people who are exactly the same, and to me they seem to be a combination of over-inflated self importance, and a need to be the centre of everything. Without actually knowing this person I can't really say a lot more, other than I know the 'type'. At least that was the mental impression I got from your brief description.

If I'm right about the kind of person she is, then you're probably right-you did do something, but it's not your fault. It's probably something completely ridiculous, like the first time you met you didn't compliment her on her shoes or something equally pathetic, and that just set her off.

But like I say, I don't know her so I could be waaaaaay off.

Anyway-if she has got a problem with you, she should come out and say it, and not be so mean.

29619[/snapback]

Hi Smudger

Thanks for the reply! I woke up this morning trying to get the hubby to ring them to find out what the problem was but he won't! He just keeps telling me not to worry etc but of course, ocd doesn't accept that does it?! By the way this was the party that I wrote about the other day on your thread where I was worried about the brother in law and he ended up being fine - in fact apart from aunty it was a good night!

It's funny though I could almost feel the ocd kicking in! When I still was with the bro in law and his mrs we were all joking about it and I was just thinking it was funny that someone could be that blatanly rude, but as soon as me and mr b were alone I could almost hear my brain saying, 'no not gonna let her get away with this one!' Oh well not a lot I can do about this one I suppose until I see her next which will be months probably, just another obsession to a to the list until I can sort if out!

Thank you for the support

Brainstrain :censored:

Link to comment

For what it's worth she sounds to be an incredibly rude woman.....and like Smudger, I recognise the type.

I presume it was either Uncle-In-Law, or they, that invited you to the party in the first place, to do that and then ignore you is incredibly bad mannered. Even worse was to accept an invitation to YOUR Wedding and then be churlish enough to play games. If she has issues she should have been big enough, or principled enough to decline your invitation.

I don't know what she thinks you're "supposed" to have done, probably nothing and she is being manipulative and controlling.

I think that anyone who had undergone similar rebuffment would be churning this over, exactly the way you're doing, it's probably fairly normal and not that OCD-ish.

If you really wanted to know what you've done you could drop her a card saying, Thanks for the lovely party, didn't get to speak to you, I hope I haven't offended you in some way. Or you could speak to your Father/Mother-In-Law (whoever it is who's directly related) and ask them if they know anything of the problem.

If it were me I wouldn't waste a second on wanting to appease this woman, she doesn't deserve it.....I hate rude people.

Honestly Brainstrain, this lady isn't worth worrying about and your reaction is very understandable and 'Normal' IMHO :censored:

Link to comment
Guest Brainstrain
For what it's worth she sounds to be an incredibly rude woman.....and like Smudger, I recognise the type.

I presume it was either Uncle-In-Law, or they, that invited you to the party in the first place, to do that and then ignore you is incredibly bad mannered.  Even worse was to accept an invitation to YOUR Wedding and then be churlish enough to play games.  If she has issues she should have been big enough, or principled enough to decline your invitation.

I don't know what she thinks you're "supposed" to have done, probably nothing and she is being manipulative and controlling.

I think that anyone who had undergone similar rebuffment would be churning this over, exactly the way you're doing, it's probably fairly normal and not that OCD-ish.

If you really wanted to know what you've done you could drop her a card saying, Thanks for the lovely party, didn't get to speak to you, I hope I haven't offended you in some way.  Or you could speak to your Father/Mother-In-Law (whoever it is who's directly related) and ask them if they know anything of the problem.

If it were me I wouldn't waste a second on wanting to appease this woman, she doesn't deserve it.....I hate rude people.

Honestly Brainstrain, this lady isn't worth worrying about and your reaction is very understandable and 'Normal' IMHO  :censored:

29639[/snapback]

Thanks Caramoole!

Beginning to agree with you on this one! If the rest of the family still like me then I am sure I can't have done anything that bad! And uncle-in-law was fine gave me the obligatory greeting kiss etc. Just have to put it down to the fact that maybe she has more problems/issues than me as I really worry about offending people and she goes out of her way do it....at the end of the day who's gonna have more friends!!!!

Thank you very much, you have made me feel much better!

Brainstrain :censored:

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...