What's it called?

[Guest Jalvo]

I was just updating my profile filling in my type of OCD which mainly is contamination, but I also have another thing, not too problematic, but I just wondered if it's called something special:

If I for example say goodbye to loved ones I have to think about something positive. I am worried that something will happen to them (which makes it specially strong if they're gonna travel far by car or plane or whatever) and if something would happen, at least had the proper thoughts the last time. (Yeah, I know, it's mad; IF something WOULD happen I would of course not worry about those thoughts at all, maybe later - I don't know, but you know... that's the messed up OCD for you.)

I also have this with things and situations as well; like when I recently was in my childhood home for the last time (my parents just moved), I had to think about something positive for every thing I did in there for the last time; even when doing such a silly thing as using the loo for the last time. Walking out the door the last time was specially hard.

On the other hand; when I read about accident and see disturbing images I must NOT think about loved ones, but things/persons I don't like.

Luckily, if I fail getting the right thoughts in my head (it requires mad concentration; it's like telling myself to NOT think about an orange for the next half minute, hehe), it doesn't annoy me for a very long time.

Weird.

Is there a name for this kind of thing?

[Guest bigkeefer]

Hi Jalvo

I think this would probably come under the "Pure-O" catagory of OCD.

[Adamski]

Howdy

This seems like pure o thinking. The compulsion of sorts is to think something through in your mind. But by doing this obviously your are making the urge to think all the stronger and tying you up in mental knots as it were. I can imagine that my advocating the site ocfoundation's thiniking the unthinkable article might bring groans from some members (sorry ) but it really helped out with some of my thoughts.

See ya

Adam

[Guest ScottOCDid]

Hi Jalvo,

I agree with bigkeefer & adamski that if you were to categorise these thoughts, they'd probably come under "pure-o" (in the context that there's no visible compulsive behaviour attached). That said, I think a lot of people would also know what you meant if you said "responsibility OCD".

It's a point that's been touched upon in other threads but I think that the term "pure-o" can be a tiny bit misleading. I can only speak from my own experiences (and those about which I have read) but I believe that "pure-o" sufferers do experience compulsions, insomuch as they feel compelled to resist the obsessive thoughts. The behaviour may not be apparent to an onlooker but it is there.

Particularly when I was younger, I had similar worries as those that you have described. When hugging or shaking hands with a family member who was about to embark on a journey, fearful thoughts of pending disasters would hit me and I would have to cancel/ neutralise these thoughts before breaking contact with my loved ones. If I didn't, the belief would be that the bad thing might happen and it would be my fault. During these episodes, my anxiety levels soared, but the only behavioural manifestation of this might have been a glazed or pensive look, or a slightly clingy hug or longer handshake - simply to allow myself time to secure the "good" thought and resist the bad one.

I believe that all of the fundamental elements of OCD are present in this variant of the condition:

Obsession - something bad will happen

Compulsion - I must eliminate this thought and therefore the "real-life" possibility

Disorder - "normal" people don't go through this, or can easily "switch off"

It's a tough ol' ride!

Cheers,

Scott

[Guest Jalvo]

Thanks for the info mates!

They sure can be spotted by other ones. Specially the goodbyes on the phone with my girlfriend are usually very long. I repeat the same sentences (Love you, take care and so on; things I have to say) till I am happy. But she knows about it. She's away right now and the other day my thoughts were right the first second after I had said the "obligatory" sentences so I hung up like a normal person would do. She phoned me back straight after to hear if everything was ok since I hung up so quickly. Hehe.

Another recent situation was when I left my home for the last time and stepped into the car. I got the wrong thoughts and were standing for some seconds with the foot on the ground for the last time looking like an idiot.

Well....