Obsessional Thoughts, Please help!

[Mcajshaw]

Most of the reading I have done on OCD indicates that thoughts are uncontrollable and just pop into the head and this makes me question whether or not I have the condition. I find my thoughts are often created, when my brain almost delibertely thinks of something I dont want to think about..

For example I heard on the phone about a relative being ill or some bad news from home and I can feel in my head that something bad that I am goign to feel guilty about is about to come along. Seconds later I think of an image or a nasty thought, but it judt didnt fly in. I thought of thinking something bad (I'm sure to upset me) before it came.

DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?

Am I then responsible for the thoughts? Is this sequence of events familiar to you?

Please help!!

Jon.

[Guest Jalvo]

Eventhought it's not my main-OCD I do have this sometimes as well.

Some years ago I got really frightened because I started thinking of my girlfriend as a bitch which I absolutely never would. I love her to bits and pieces. The thought just came and came again.

Luckily it disappeared by the end of the day.

Another terrible episode was once that she was sleeping. I looked at her and I suddenly got this thought about going over with a knife and stab her!!!!

Come on!!!!!

It was a nightmare!

(I feel very guilty and bad writing all this down now; it's a bit in conflict with my other, more frequent pure-o, but what the heck.)

[Guest summerleft]

I found that as my ocd progressed that was happening

Id know where i would have ocd thought and my brain would kind of go oh yes youll have a thought about that in a moment and of course the more you try to stop it the more it comes on so this is just another way it trys to get into your thoughts

Ive done alot of reading and im getting to know my ocd very well shes crafty and down right sneeky but with the CBT i can acknowlegde when its coming and get on with something else i think ive been at it for three /four week and am just starting to get clarity .

[Guest Beckett93]

If the thoughts are something you would not normally think about and they cause you unhappiness, then they are probably OCD related. You are not responsible for the thoughts. They might feel like you are creating them intentionally, but you are not. The fact that they cause you guilt shows they are contrary to your personality and in spite of that feeling of purposeful creation, they are really coming against your will. An obsession can be as simple as saying, doing, or thinking the wrong thing. It does not have to be anything specific. And the sequence of events is very familiar. It is normal for people with OCD to feel guilty over their thoughts and worry that their obsessions reveal some darker aspect of their personality, but that isn't the case. You are a good person suffering from the expected symptoms of a common anxiety problem. Best wishes on feeling better again soon

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi

I agree with what the others say. The feeling guilty before hand is because you have had what is known as a trigger from the sounds of it, something that has started your ocd ticking ready to explode at any moment and give you a full blown horrible thought or image. It isn't you creating the thought, it is the ocd magnifying something that you aren't even consciously thinking about. It is not your brain trying to alert you to some mystery dark side of your personality.

Hope this helps!

Brainstrain :blushing:

[Guest bigkeefer]

Hi Jon,

Yes, I can totally relate to this. I have exactly the same thing. Basically the brain is deliberately putting the thoughts there - but only because it knows that it will cause us anxiety.

Think of it as the "fight or flee" instinct malfunctioning. It's not just Pure-O that does this really either - as checking OCD'ers will often feel compulsions to re-check the door (even though they have done so 5 times already) because the brain deliberately puts in a thought of a burglar breaking in and attacking their family (as one example).

When I finish checking a window is locked for example - as soon as I try and walk away my brain will deliberately put an image of me opening the window in my mind (perhaps a memory from Summer on a hot day). This of course will make me go to back to CHECK again! (argh!)

I think it's exactly the same with Pure-O - apart from maybe the trigger is more deep/emotional/complex. Perhaps a deep rooted fear of a relationship going pear-shaped or something (for me personally - my Pure-O got much worse when I started to obsess about losing my job - leading to very similar thoughts that u mention)... The brain picks up on this and over compensates the anxiety to keep you in check. e.g. say your girlfriend is in a bad mood - your brain would "normally" say "be careful around her. she's had a bad day etc. don't rock the boat."

However - with OCD it will OD you with anxiety with thoughts such as "if I call her a ****** - the relationship will really fall apart - so make sure I DON'T DO that..."

leading to the old "don't think about pink elephants" line of argument again :blushing:

Erm. Hope that made sense - as I should really be in bed. :blushing:

Anyways - just wanted to say that you aren't alone with this one :blushing:

[Guest lilyelspeth]

I agree as well.

My thoughts don't necessarily follow that sequence at all times, but it does happen the way you described. Sometimes I get triggered by everyday, mundane conversation. All of a sudden my brain will tune out the conversation and I'll start having my disturbing thoughts, mostly they come out as repeated "filthy" words or phrases. I'll have to fight in my head until they suddenly go away again and then I've missed half of what was going on and I get lost!

:blushing: OCD! :blushing:

[Mcajshaw]

Sorry havent checked the message threads for a while..Cheers for your kind words..I went to see the uni doctor and she has referred me to a psychiatrist as she feels I have "intrusive thoughts" and will let the hospital diagnose whether it be OCD or whatever..Thanks again. Jon.

[whitebeam]

Hi Jon,

It's a real step forward to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. Hope you don't have to wait too long before you see him/her.

Good luck with it :clover:

Take care

whitebeam