Will it ever stop?

[Guest Dennis912]

Hi,

My pure O is acting up again - I was really doing well until this morning............

I woke up having horrible thoughts about my wife, with her sleeping next to me I just have to leave the room @ 3am and i've been up ever since..

Well we had some snow last night so I was out cleaning the cars when my neighbor came out to do the same, she has also been part of my thoughts..

So now I feel like i'm back to square one with this after being so good for two weeks.. CAN ANYONE RELATE...I'm just having an episode I guess but I HATE being like this, I just want to be normal again.. :mad:

Dennis..

[Guest lilyelspeth]

Hi Dennis, sorry you are having a bad time right now, I can certainly relate. But I can tell you the best advice I've received about these thoughts is to keep telling yourself that they are NOT you, it is the OCD talking, you are a good person who knows that these thoughts are wrong and you would never do anything to jeopardise your happiness in the long run.

Hope you can take some time to try and clear your head. Can you possibly read something? A book, magazine perhaps? I've found that when I am having a particularly bad obsessional day, reading helps a bit, if not a lot!

Lily

[Guest Steviemfc]

Hi,

My pure O is acting up again - I was really doing well until this morning............

I woke up having horrible thoughts about my wife, with her sleeping next to me I just have to leave the room @ 3am and i've been up ever since..

Well we had some snow last night so I was out cleaning the cars when my neighbor came out to do the same, she has also been part of my thoughts..

So now I feel like i'm back to square one with this after being so good for two weeks.. CAN ANYONE RELATE...I'm just having an episode I guess but I HATE being like this, I just want to be normal again..

Dennis..

30521[/snapback]

Hi Dennis,

I can also relate to this.

This is just a classic OCD symptom, it comes and bites you on the bum just as you think things are getting better.

The best bit of advice I got was to start welcoming the thoughts into your head and accept them as just irrational thoughts. The more you try and fight them, the worse they get.

Good luck

Stevie

[Guest Dragonfruit]

Just to re-iterate what everyone else has said.

It's not you - it is the OCD.

I just want to be normal again..

Dennis..

30521[/snapback]

You ARE normal - you just also happen to have OCD.

It's really hard letting the thoughts come and letting them just sit there but if you can try to allow the thought to sit for even a short time and try to say "yeah - well - so what - I don't care what you're trying to tell me" - the next time it'll be easier to do so.

Hang on in there - it sucks - but it does get better

[Adamski]

Hey,

Ditto what everyone else has said on here. But do try to remember that you have had a good couple of weeks. to me that counts as good quality recovering and YOU moving forward. I guess this is becoming one of my favourite sayings but the best way to deal with set backs is to be aware that you have got to have been moving forwards to go back a bit. Blips in your recovery are going to come from time to time. Just remember you got there once, you can get back to it again.

Best of luck mate

Adam

[Guest robert1]

dennis just relax and realize something ,when you had the two weeks of let up didn't you feel just right happy and easy going not anxious brudy and upset endless sitting down trying to think this out ,the first descriptive words of a person who is himself and in his right thinking mind .

[Guest ace of base fan]

when you say you want to be normal you playing into ocds hands.what you should say is you are normal but are having anxiety over thoughts which everyone has its just ocd making you take more notice of them so dont try not to have these thoughts just let them happen and dont worry about them

[Guest Dennis912]

Hey guys,

Thanks for writting:

Not having anxiety over these thoughts is easier said than done..

These thoughts are totally out of my charactor; I am a nice person who cares more for others then myself, the thoughts I have are horrible images of hurting people, raping women, and most recently choking my dog ( i love my dog )

how rediculas is this I'm going crazy about this..It comes and goes at will

My wife is pregnant and i have visions of throwing her down stairs and I look at a belt and see myself choking my dog, I look at a pretty woman and think I will force her to have sex..............AM I NUTS...........sometimes I feel I am

I do see a therapist "she sucks" I am finding that sometimes I think about suicide

but it doesn't scare me ---> I know why though, I never cared about myself before

I care about other people much more than myself. thats just the way it is I guess

I know It's not me It's my ocd (brain lock)..

[Guest rainbow]

Hey guys,

Thanks for writting:

    Not having anxiety over these thoughts is easier said than done..

These thoughts are totally out of my charactor; I am a nice person who cares more for others then myself, the thoughts I have are horrible images of hurting people, raping women, and most recently choking my dog ( i love my dog )

how rediculas is this I'm going crazy about this..It comes and goes at will

My wife is pregnant and i have visions of throwing her down stairs and I look at a belt and see myself choking my dog, I look at a pretty woman and think I will force her to have sex..............AM I NUTS...........sometimes I feel I am

I do see a therapist "she sucks" I am finding that sometimes I think about suicide

but it doesn't scare me ---> I know why though, I never cared about myself before

I care about other people much more than myself. thats just the way it is I guess

I know It's not me It's my ocd (brain lock)..

30667[/snapback]

Hi Dennis912

Not sure if we have talked before? but I'm rainbow

No you are not mad, going crazy, or any of those things, but are having a real bad time with OCD at the mo!!

I can so relate to u, I too am having a bad time with nasty thought !! MIne are nearly always about hurting my dear little baby!! These thoughts I hate soooooo much. I have had a good few days!! then tonite I read the paper and something I read started it all of again HELP!! Just when you think yep! I'm getting this sorted it smacks you in the face again.This artical I read really started my thoughts off again in a big way oh how I wish I had not read the rotten paper.

try and hold on to the fact it's not you, but OCD trying to be bossy again. I know it's hard I keep telling myself the same thing, But you must not give up!!! you will get better your rainbow will come.

Can you change your doc? Is she no good at all? I no having a good doc can make all the differance.

anyway please take care. don't be so hard on yourself. and you will get better! we all will.

lots of love rainbow xxxxx

[Caramoole]

One little thing that's worth bearing in mind is that these thoughts almost always relate to those you love and care about the most...your partner, children, pets, parents and so on.....rarely do these feelings of doing vile things crop up in relation to people you don't like or would have cause to do harm to. I say rarely, not because it can't happen, to have feelings like this to someone you don't like....but mostly it is a fear of harming those closest to us.

Why???? It's a fear of losing control and doing something WE DON'T WANT TO DO.

That is the root cause...Fear Of Losing Control. This 'Thing' that you've not been able to be in charge of, you fear will take one further twist and you will lose control.

FACT - This does not happen, not ever with OCD, you feel this anxiety because it is the last thing you would ever want to do, it is abhorrant to you and that is why you feel the terror you do, trust me!

I am Forty-Brmmmm-Brrrrrrm Something :hug: , Pure 'O' type stuff has been responsible for 95% of my OCD and despite ANY thought I've ever experienced, I have never yet turned into Atilla the Hun, or the Mad Axe Woman, or a Homicidal Maniac.....I save flies, damn it

....And neither will you, know that with every fibre of your soul, you will never be a danger to anyone, it just feels that way

The best way is NOT to get up (well not and stay up), make yourself a cuppa, read for 15 minutes, listen to a walkman on headphones but stay where you are.

Dennis (and anyone else) facing these fears is the fastest and only real way to conquer OCD, It is not easy, it requires super human courage sometimes.....but even then, you will not act on your fears. The only person harmed by them is yourself.

Print some of the messages on the board that you can relate to and have them in your bedside drawer or pocket.....not particularly to reassure yourself but to act as the voice of reason when the gremlins gain the upper hand.

Trust in yourself....you will not, ever, lose control.

Caramoole

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Dennis

You still haven't changed that therapist yet then? Do it!!!

You aren't crazy. Be content in the fact that ocd sufferers are the least likely people to ever do any of these things. The fact that we have so much anxiety just through subconsciously thinking them is a sure sign that we are not the kind of people to do them. I totally empathise with the not scared of suicide thing because you don't care about yourself only others - it could have been me saying that. But in a round about way if we did do it we would only end up hurting others more than ourselves so that still wouldn't be a way out as we would cause them the ultimate pain we could, which we aren't going to do just experiencing horrible thoughts. Get what I mean?!

Stick in there Dennis, everythings gonna be alright.

Brainstrain