Pure "O" thoughts about friends or strangers

[Mcajshaw]

I dont know if any of you can identify with this. I read a lot of accounts of people obsessions being with knives, killing others, hurting people etc. However my OCD (if I do have it) is just about have crude thoughts about people, both friends and strangers that leave me feelign very guilty and anxious.

A few examples :

1) see someone fat, and call them a fat soemhting in my head

2) see someone who is poor and get some crude remark in my head about their lack of money

3) Same might apply for people who aren't very good looking

It happens all the time and is really bothering me. Many people with OCD seem to talk of just one or two thoughts continually popping up like "killing a baby". Can anyone identify with mine where you might get dozens of thoughts a day like the ones I outline, with your head putting forward somethign nasty at the worst time?

[Guest cerenbrackston]

Hi Mcajshaw

These thoughts that u have are all fake messages from the brain.Brain makes you a trick and u dont want to think that way but it plays you a game.Dont take those thoughts seriously because they are not real.

I have been suffring obsessive thoughts and anxiety for 4 months now.i have had several stupid thoughts in my mind.General thoughts are harming people but it all the time changes.Like yesterday i had red lipstick on and went outside.On the way i was think that why i had that colour it s blood colour ..and then do i have to get rid of it..stuff like that..and i change my mind to focus something..all disseappear..so u are not the only one my friend..i am with you.

The main thing is whenthe thoughts comes to our mind tell ourself that these is not me thats my ocd,chemical inbalance..and change the mind for a diffrent thoughts..and it takes time to control our thoughts really..

keep writing here and u will find very usefull.

[Guest ocd13]

It happens all the time and is really bothering me.  Many people with OCD seem to talk of just one or two thoughts continually popping up like "killing a baby".  Can anyone identify with mine where you might get dozens of thoughts a day like the ones I outline, with your head putting forward somethign nasty at the worst time?

31129[/snapback]

Hi Mcajshaw,

Yes I can relate to this. I keep getting ones about the person I'm seeing - things like "he's not a typical 'pretty boy' who everyone would fancy, so therefore you don't think he's good-looking and so you can't fancy him"... this one is the worst at the moment because I love him and I know that I 'am' attracted to him so it hurts like hell and really confuses me when I get these thoughts. I don't know if anyone else gets these either and so sometimes I feel quite alone and also I start then doubting that it's my OCD and in fact real feelings, which then of course brings on the anxiety.

[Guest andyman]

Hi Mcajshaw

I can identify with you 100%.As well as other obsessive thoughts that revolve around harm,sexual or philosophical themes ,I also get thoughts that you describe above.Like you these thoughts often relate to a persons looks,weight or class as well as race and sexuality.

In my mind I would like to think that I am not predjudiced in any way and I try to remain as open minded and as non judgemental as possible,but when these thoughts come into my head I start questioning myself and the doubt and confusion set in.When this happens I start to think that I am an evil,worthless,shallow person with no feelings or empathy for other people,which then leads to a spiral of guilt and depression.

For almost 14 years these thoughts remained my secret until I was diagnosed with OCD.Once I received this diagnosis a number of things including medication,CBT,books,this site and other web sites have improved my life considerably.

I am far from recovered but with the help of alll the above factors I am begining to see the light at the end of the tunnel,the thoughts have less power now to hurt and confuse me.I am continuing to research websites,books etc for any helpful info,so if I find anything that may help I will let you know.

All I can say is get as much help as you can,read as much relevant info as you can and hopefully you will begin to gain an understanding as to why these thoughts cause so much pain and this way be able to give them less power to hurt you.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you are still only young so time is on your side.

Good luck

Andyman

[Caramoole]

Hi Ace

No your not a shallow or bad person, you have OCD!!

This sort of problem gets a bit mixed up with 'normal' emotions and feelings as well. Everyone (IMHO) wants to look good, wants to be liked. Almost all people work at improving appearance whether it is by hairstyle, clothes, figure, dental work, and even more so today with surgery. It is a basic desire felt by most people. As is being in with the 'In' crowd, we all want to be popular.

Every day we are all making judgements about other people all of the time, it's a fact. Only an hour ago I was chatting to a woman (a very nice woman I may hasten to add) and thought, what a stupid haircut, why would anyone 'choose' that hair style  It was just a fleeting thought (and not an 'OCD' thing for me) just an observation and if we're honest most people do that. Some people only like blondes, or redheads, some people like slender people, some with defined muscle, it's just the way we are. It even happens in the animal kingdom where the female species always chooses (or vies for) the biggest, strongest and most colourful mate.

All of your feelings are quite normal, just in your case your style of OCD chooses to make these feelings and thoughts excessive and objectional to you. You have to gain a deeper understanding that the thoughts are OCD thoughts, it's probably harder to realise this when they aren't involved with fear of violence etc, they're possibly harder to identify, hence you just feel you are being a horrid person.

It is OCD, it's an exagerated form of the type of thoughts that other people have every day. It doesn't make you an awful person, just a bit bewildered by it all

This was my response to Ace of Base the other day. Although he was more convinced with looks, the same applies. We all make these observations everyday, as does everyone. We make a brief assessment of everything we see or hear, just that normally the thought is so fleeting we pay no attention. I think that everyone thinks...'He is far too overweight' 'What a vile dress' 'He looks a real Scumbag, bet he's got a criminal record', we are appraising information all the time, everyone does. The difference would be if we 'Said' what we were feeling, if we were deliberatly rude. You're not, with OCD we just have an exaggerated response to the white noise that flits through our mind.

[Guest postalpostie]

this was what i was thinking.

someone comes on and explains something they've been thinking/feeling and instantly it HAS to do with OCD.

why can't it just be a case of

"seeing somthing in someone else that you don't like"

or

"seeing something in someone else that you recognise in yourself and you don't like"

maybe you see an overweight person and you think "i could never let myself get that fat. they must have a serious lack of control"

or

you see them and think

"that's what i was like a few years ago.(or now) but you transfer your thoughts about yourself to someone else.

it doesn't ALWAYS have to be OCD

YES he might have OCD but not all these symptoms have to be instantly attributed to it.

[Guest MPP]

Of course, it may not be OCD but I feel `Mcajshaw` is posting here to get some kind of reassurance.

Seeing something in someone that you don't like doesn't usually result in feeling guilty and anxious about it, the thought occurs and you just move on.

People with OCD have a lot of trouble believing that it is the OCD that makes themselves feel this way and usually attribute it to them being wicked and not a result of the illness. Your post exhibits a great LACK of understanding of OCD although I am sure that is not the case as you suffer from it and as he is posting on an OCD forum I'm sure that he has other things that identify with OCD that made him post here in the first place.

Pure O is not always about feeling a danger to people or loved ones...it manifests itself in so many ways, you should KNOW this.

Your post gives the doubt that most people feel themselves...the best advice to give to `Mcajshaw` is to seek help if it bothers him enough and let a professional decide if it is OCD or not.

[Guest ace of base fan]

well i think all people have those thoughts which was good advice given to me but the difference when people with ocd have those thoughts we feel guilty for having them and then think we are bad people than we get anxious about it which in turn can make the thoughts even worse and more violent and bad,i have bad thoughts mainly about my friends because that makes me anxious but sometimes it happens with people i have just met but i keep telling myself it is only ocd and normal thoughts.

[Caramoole]

Hi Ace

Like I said to you and Mc, above....everyone HAS these thoughts, it's just that we OCD sufferers have an exaggerated response to them......I'm certainly not belittling them as MPP perhaps thinks. They are not uncommon, or vile or unnatural thoughts, they are common place...what is different is the OCD repulsion and fear surrounding them, we have to realise that our response to them is exaggerated.

[Guest MPP]

Oh, definitely...where other people simply brush it aside, OCD'ers don't.

OCD is not about one or two thoughts, as Mc says "Many people with OCD seem to talk of just one or two thoughts continually popping up like `killing a baby`." It's a lot more than that.

I still feel Mc, if he feels strongly enough about this, should seek help, only a professional can let him know what is wrong.

No offense was meant to `postalpostie` or anyone on this forum, I responded because I'm having a hard enough time accepting things are OCD even though I KNOW they ARE and reading the slightest hint of doubt kinda sent me off on one...my apologies to all.

[Guest ocd13]

No offense was meant to `postalpostie` or anyone on this forum, I responded because I'm having a hard enough time accepting things are OCD even though I KNOW they ARE and reading the slightest hint of doubt kinda sent me off on one...my apologies to all.

31632[/snapback]

Hi MPP,

I had exactly the same response as you when I read that post. As I read it, my insides did that horrible panic feeling and instantly I had this huge anxiety "what if it's not my OCD after all" - and like you say, I have a hard enough time accepting it's OCD a lot of the time and so reading that also set my doubts off again!

I think the difference between what we're feeling and what postalpostie's comments were, is that if these were 'rational' thoughts and we didn't suffer from OCD, then as Caramoole says, they would literally fleet through our minds and then disappear without us giving them any acknowledgement. The difference with our thoughts is that they are irrational. It's like I know that I'm attracted to the person I'm with and I know this by the way I act around him, look at him, etc. etc. It's when we get these irrational thoughts that make us doubt what we think about another person and in my situation, they don't make any sense because what I think and how I behave totally contradict each other. These thoughts bring immense anxiety to us because we don't 'want' to think what we're thinking and because we don't 'want' to think them, it's as if the OCD bully goes "ha ha I've got you now", whereas non-OCD'ers if they don't want to think of a thought, they simply process it and pass it on through their brains ready for the next thought. The difference in our brains is that the thought gets 'stuck' and so we then obsess about it asking ourselves why it's there and if it's there, it must mean there's some truth to it. In reality there isn't always truth to our thoughts and that's the part we can't accept. Actually a good example of this is that I have got to a point where one day the word 'Octember' came into my head. It was as if my mind had got confused over the words 'October' and 'November'. It sounded so right to start with that I remember obsessing over the word 'Octember' and starting analysing as to whether that was a real month or not. It was as if I didn't believe my own knowledge. When I write it down however, it is obvious to me that this is soooooo ridiculous, and I think that just proves how bizarre OCD can be. I can laugh at that scenario because it doesn't affect anybody I love, etc. whereas when you get these thoughts about loved ones, etc. then it causes anxiety because it does affect ourselves and the way we feel about others.

Does any of that make any sense???

Love Andrea

xx

[Guest postalpostie]

Of course, it may not be OCD but I feel `Mcajshaw` is posting here to get some kind of reassurance.

People with OCD have a lot of trouble believing that it is the OCD that makes themselves feel this way and usually attribute it to them being wicked and not a result of the illness. Your post exhibits a great LACK of understanding of OCD although I am sure that is not the case as you suffer from it and as he is posting on an OCD forum I'm sure that he has other things that identify with OCD that made him post here in the first place.

31555[/snapback]

very good points. my apologies

all i'm saying is we must be careful about playing along with peoples fears.

i do suffer from OCD symptoms myself

but it is not unreasonable to suggest that someone watches this program on channel 4 (i think) about OCD, thinks that he might have it because of some thoughts they have been having. (even though it could 'just' be depresssion or poor self esteem or any number of things of this manner that makes him project his low self esteem about himself onto others)

and all of a sudden he has OCD.

we must be careful about this because all of a sudden EVERYONE could have OCD. EVERYONE has obsessive thoughts at one time or another.

everyone feels a certain 'disgust' for people or things that that person feels shows a lack of control or self worth.

and then obviously because they feel that they are the ONLY ones thinking these thoughts, they are obviously going to be upset or disturbed but the thoughts.

once you understand that everyone thinks these the problem 'can' subside.

i'm certainly not going to say the person HAS or HASN't got OCD or not. i will read the thoughts of everyone on this board and if i can help will certainly try.

i'm only voicing a concern that i have NOT about YOU, but about a 'trend' i have noticed on this site to attribute everything that someone says to OCD.

'disgust' is perhaps a very strong word to use in the paragraph in the middle there. i hope you understnad what i mean. it isn't my intention to insult with the use of this word. just that i couldn't formulate my thoughts properly.

hope this goes some way to explaining what my thoughts were at the time of writing my previous post.

if not please reply.

[Guest postalpostie]

sorry.

must also reply to people saying that the fleeting thought means nothing and the fact your concentrating so much on it means it is OCD.

if your a lonely person (like me) and have problems sociallising with people (like me) you have a lot of time to your self to dissect and consider everything that you have said or thought. alot of time to spend doing this when your at home on your own.

i mean what else are you going to do.?

the thoughts about other people COULD be normal

the fact your thinking about them and putting so much effort into constantly thinking about them COULD be because you've got the time.

obviously here these are the counter thoughts that go through MY mind. and also things that my previous councellor has said to me.

my mind constantly argues with it self. maybe this is down to OCD.

i'm a very logical minded person so i m constantly looking for logical reasons in everything.

[Guest MPP]

My friend, you don't have to explain anything, we're all in this together...we all KNOW what each other is going through.

I tried to be logical about it but it didn't help...I looked for reasons where there were none...now I try to let the thoughts just flow and not react but it is so difficult to deal with sometimes.

Anyway, take care.

And Andrea, yes, it made sense.

:crybaby:

[Mcajshaw]

Sorry havent checked the message threads for a while..Cheers for your kind words..I went to see the uni doctor and she has referred me to a psychiatrist as she feels I have "intrusive thoughts" and will let the hospital diagnose whwther it be OCD or whatever..Yes, I do want re-assurance, but I know there is a problem there. I never used to get these horrible thoughts and images interferring in my day to day business that have racked me with guilt, hopefully this is the first step to sorting it all out! I found the "Imp of the Mind" very intersting although not all of it seemed relevant to me personally. Things like crude remarks that spring into my mind about people's death or people's problems that I care about have caused me much distress and were not convered overly. Hope you can all understand this. The fat thing was just an example, but Its anythign that will upset me like phsical features, class, race etc, and I know this isnt the genuine me, and that why I'm gonna sort this thing out!!!

Cheers Jon.

[Mcajshaw]

Also I didnt mean to upset anyone with my fleeting remark about "killing a baby"..It was just my way of illustrating that my intrusive thoughts are not continually about the same thing, they can come up when I see a stranger on the street, go to see my tutor, speak to a relative on the phone or whatever...I even go a few around the time of a family funeral which upset me. Just hope I can shake this thing off...It has only appeared in the last 12 months, though I am 21 so perhaps this is a common age for intrusive thoughts to manifest themselves?

Jon.

[Guest ocd13]

Hi Jon,

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and I too have those sorts of thoughts. I get the racial ones too - it's as if I'm scared to look at people sometimes who are of a different race in case my thoughts get set off and they can magically read my mind and find out what I'm unintentionally thinking. These thoughts thankfully for me aren't too dominant at the moment and so don't cause too much anxiety. This is probably because I've never worried too much about them and because I know deep down that I'm not racist. It may also be because I don't really know anyone of a different race and so I'm not exposed to these thoughts every day. The ones that cause me the most anxiety are the ones I get about loved ones that I don't want to be thinking.

Love Andrea

xx

[Mcajshaw]

Hi Andrea,

Can totally relate to yours about family and things, sometimes I can feel thoughts coming in if that makes sense. Can think of a family memeber and my brain almost tells me "You're going to get a bad thought in one second" and it 'micheviously' creates one.

[Guest MPP]

Yep, Puro is a bit of a git I'm afraid.