feeling odd about myself

[Guest j julie]

Hi all.

I suffer from pure o, and very bad anxiety over the slightest of things, lately ive been feeling like i really dont know myself and i feel really lost in life and which direction im going, and i think to myself who am i? does anyone else get these feelings?? please reply if you do, explaining how you feel, (if you dont mind)

I also get very anxious about things such as:

sometimes when im driving on motorways my hand or foot may feel slightly numb and this makes me worry and if i let it it would bring on a panic attack, but i have to sort of talk myself out of panicking.

going on holidays, areoplanes.

also feel very anxious when im on a course at work, feel like i just need to get up and get out, my stomach churns, feel really worried.

cinemas, feel like im trapped cant get out when i want to.

thank you for reading.

[Guest Beth]

I know how you feel. I'm very anxious in social situations and if I'm in a class and people stand around me I feel I have to escape becasue I feel caged in. I also haven' t a clue who I am, sounds weird like I've lost my identity, but I don't think i know me, i try be what others want and block them from the real me incase I get hurt, but know I've boxed myself out from seeing the real me.

I think you have to take time out and go somewhere where no one nows you and you can be alone and really reflect on yourself and find out who you are, whether it takes hours, weeks or months, it'll be worth it. It may help with social situations if you seek help because it sounds like you ahve a social phobia which may come from a deep rooted problem, I know what you're experiencing is probably different to me but I have a social problem, and its comes from being humiliated as a young child and being rejected from friends.

If you're unsure of who you are, you must take the time to find out it may make things easier.

Hope everything works out, all the best

Beth

-x-

[Guest han]

Hi Julie,

i think i can relate to what you are going through. i also quite often don't know who i am or what i'm supposed to be doing in life - i find my feelings are more philosophically orientated though... but i think that it still comes from ocd because i get scared and don't want to think about these things or dwell on them!

i also understand about the trapped feelings - they can be so scary! its important not to try to avoid these situations too much though because otherwise it will never go away.

when it comes to going away on holiday, my personal feelings are that in advance i worry that i will feel trapped while i'm there because i will be so far from home and if it is overseas and involves a plane journey then i worry that i will not be able to get home and will become so scared that i will have to kill myself! but i have been abroad since i got these feelings (with a little help from diazapam) and it was nothing like i expected - i didn't feel trapped whilst i was away and even the plane journey was ok. in other words when you face up to bully that is anxiety it really does step down! if you don't mind me asking, what are your feelings on the holiday/plane situation because you didn't go into much detail in your post?

take care and best wishes,

H x

[Caramoole]

Hi

These are all classic symptoms of Panic Disorder/anxiety.

It's a feeling of not being in control. What if I can't.......

get out/leave/crash/die/faint/go mad/ make a fool of myself...these feelings add to the production of adrenalin, which in turn make you feel even more afraid.

It is very important to set yourself tasks to face the feared situation, if you don't, it will begin to encroach upon more and more situations.

Start small....if you're scared in shops, make a pledge to go in and look at the magazines....next buy a packet of mints...build a hierarchy but start small....when you can do it comfortably make the task a little bit more difficult.

Remember, you are in control, you can leave, you can make an excuse and go...often even knowing this can help. When you're in a supermarket it's likely that there are a dozen people in there suffering the same panic.....see if you can spot them...I bet you don't. In fact I bet you've NEVER seen anyone lose control and draw attention to themselves.

I think the best books to understand about panic/anxiety are those by Claire Weeks, they have been written quite a long time ago and are a bit old fashioned but the descriptions of 'every' symptom you could experience really do help.

Start small Julie...but make a plan to face some of the smaller fears and share them here, we'll all be able to help and enjoy your success's

[Guest j julie]

hi,

thank you all for your replies they means so much.

when im going on holiday/aeroplanes i get anxious knowing i cant get off when i want to or go home, this happened whilst i was on holiday last year, i nearly changed my mind and didnt go, when i got there i wanted to come home for the first 3 days, but then i startd to enjoy myself, although i couldnt wait to get home.

all your replies sound similar to how im feeling, especially the part about not knowing who i am, it almost feels like at the moment i have an obsession about not knowing myself.

also i feel anxious 100% of the time.

thanks all

[Guest han]

Hi,

have you spoken to a doctor about your feelings? or if you're past that stage are you on any medication/having therapy or anything like that? hope you don't mind all the questions...

best wishes,

H x

[Guest j julie]

h.

yeah the doctor put me on clitalopan ( spelt wrong i think)

i had my second therapy session last week, its not cbt, im not sure if it will work, if it doesnt il ask to go on the waiting list for cbt.

hope your keeping well.

thanks for your reply

[Guest han]

Hey,

its good that you've seen your dr, and i'm sure the medication will make you feel better very soon. personally i'm taking 10mg cipralex (its practically identical to the one you're taking) and i haven't had a major panic attack since - i'm not exactly cured but things are certainly a lot easier - my general anxiety is so much better.

hopefully the therapy you are having will help, but based on what i've learnt from people on this forum cbt is very helpful for ocd.

there is a lot of stuff you can do to help yourself when it comes to anxiety, e.g. reading up on the subject to become as well educated as possible so that you gain some amunition to bring down the anxiety . also herbal remedies (e.g. valarium tea) and essential oils (smelling or burning them) can help a lot with anxiety. (sorry if you know all this already and you think i'm patronising you - not my intention! if you didn't know much about this, fee free to ask for more info!)

H xx

[Guest ocd13]

Hiya,

I'm another one of those who feels she has lost her identity. I haven't got a clue who I am anymore - I think there are some certain experiences that have made me like this, but also because the OCD causes me to doubt myself and everything around me, I think that's contributed in a big way.

I'm also having therapy (not CBT) to try and work my life out and because I'm feeling depressed all the time.

Had a complete panic the other day - I got myself down to Social Security to try and take in my benefit forms, but the place was riddled with people who looked like down and outers/druggies rather than people who were genuinely ill. Scared the hell outta me cos I was there alone. I took a deep breath and walked inside - this was even worse!! So I went over to a table, texted someone and then walked straight back out again so I could break down in tears in private. Was awful day.

[Guest j julie]

hi, many thanks for your reply, ive been on medication since september, im suposed to be coming off of it in march.

ive had 2 theray sessions but i seem to feel worst now, do you think it could be coz im actually dealing and talking about anxiety in therapy? i thought maybe its getting worse before it gets better.

ive read up alot on anxiety

im going to try that herbal tea you recomended.

thanks again, you are a great help

if you need any help does hesitate to ask.

j