Out of control, starting to ruin everything...

[Guest PhalosMiku]

I'm sorry for the really poor title, really, I really am a newcomer here, the website was suggested to me by a teacher, at my school. I think I came here because I'm having extreme difficulties lately.

I've noticed that I'm incredibly obsessive - it was just considered a personality trait. My compulsive issues were just things I pinpointed as a way of distracting myself from other things, and a way to bring myself back to reality.

And I've always been paranoid, I stopped eating properly for months because I believed that I was being poisoned, I still worry about it now, and it turned into me needing to turn my food anti clockwise before eating it and touching it at least 6 times.

But that's not the point. The point is that I thought I had these compulsions under control, but these past few months, it seems like they've only worsened - People in class have mentioned it. Some of them even said 'OCD'.

I think I've consulting you guys because I'm desperate - it feels like it's ruining my life, and I can see it happening, which is causing me to panic, and wind up inside of myself in a cycle of fear.

I don't know what to do to stop it. I used to count things, basic sorting, it was almost occasional at some point, I had an easier time hiding it or disguising it. But that's not the case anymore, and I don't know why.

I can see that this is going to become noticable, and I'm ashamed and scared of this - This is a weak point for me. No one else is supposed to see it. But it seems inevitable,

What do I do? I'm counting on you guys, I need help desperately...: (

[Guest melissahp]

Hello,

I just happened to glance at the recent posts and your title actually struck me immediately because lately I've been feeling the same way. It was like just what I was thinking 5 seconds before I read it.

It sounds like from your post that you don't see a therapist for this issue yet? I think that was what helps me a lot right now because they understand what your going through and can give you some answers, as well as arm you with some tools. There are also a variety of books available for self help that I've seen people on this forum recomend many times particularly by David Veale, also this website has a variety of resources and information (OCD-UK) like the four steps that might help you too. The forums also help just to talk to someone who goes through the same or similar things as you.

Its good that you decided to come here because you recognize you've been having difficulties lately, recognizing it is the only way to start treating it, and making it better. I myself am quite new to this as well (hence why your title struck me) and I haven't even started proper therapy for OCD specifically, but I did start to see a therapist which does help. You mentioned being a student does your school/Uni offer counselling?

I know its hard when you think your compulsions and obsessions are under control and hidden and then you notice that people around you actually start noticing. I gave up trying to hide some and I try to be discrete about others but the thing about some of these things is that they come out eventually and maybe thats a good thing because it brings our attention to them. OCD (although you should get this diagnosis confirmed by a professional) only gets worse if you let it.

If you want you can PM me I'd be glad to just chat, wish I could offer more advice but I think more of what I can offer is just understanding or tell you what has helped me so far, but I'm no old pro at this game yet

hang in there, have hope that it gets better cuz it does

xxxxxx

[Guest KtWasp15]

hi,

i'm new on this site as well and feel the same sort of things as you - e.g. poisoning of food and feeling ashamed of my OCD. i try to hide it at school becuase of fear that people will think i'm wierd and not want to be associated with me.

Don't be ashamed as it isn't your fault and maybe explain it to two of your trusted friends/teachers. you'll be suprised on how supportive they are. they want to help - one of my teachers didn't know until he was told that i had OCD and now he is kicking himself that he didn't recognise it and support me. now he knows, he is giving the support and so are my parents.

Edited February 26, 2010 by KtWasp15

[Guest Lyo]

Hey

Although I am still a sufferer of OCD i have been through the therapy process with a consultant so I've learnt how to manage these kind of obsessions. I know they're easier said than done (that's why i'm still a sufferer) but my OCD has improved a lot since the therapy.

The advise i can give you is just try once not to turn your food or to touch it....you will feel very anxious and uncomfortable doing this but the anxiety will soon fade and each time you try to do this it will become easier and easier until you wont even think about doing it.

Hope this helps

[Guest Mylifeisruined]

my name says it all. see a therapist =]