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[Guest luckybottle1]

Hi, im new to discussion forums but thought I might find some like minded people here who might understand where Im coming from.

I have OCD - mainly about chemicals and dangerous substances like formaldehyde, asbestos, petrol, diesel, motor oil etc. Its a complete nightmare because I find I cant do anything in the normal world without having near panic attacks that I, or through my carelessness my kids, will get cancer from just being anywhere near a scary substance.

example, I had woodworm in my living room floor and needed the whole floor replacing. The builder said the best and cheapest floor would be chipboard - that was fine until I searched the web to see if chipboard was as good and strong as he said it was and I saw a post about formaldehyde used in chipboard can cause nose and throat cancer. I banned everyone from the living room for over 6 weeks, my two kids, me and my husband literally lived in the kitchen with all our sofas and living room stuff crammed in there in the height of summer until I could see how miserable they all were and I caved in, the only way I could go in the room was to put loads of plants in it to absord the emissions from the floor.

Mould is another problem, we ripped out some fitted furniture in our bedroom and found mould, I freaked out big time, made my husband go in with full blown gas mask and gloves get-up and bleach the walls even though bleach is another "dodgy" substance in my eyes - then I couldnt go in the room for months, I was heavily pregnant but slept on the sofa every night for ages until I could mentally prepare myself to go back in there.

Now its motor oil, Im a learner driver and got my first car a month ago, now its time to top up the oil but in the manual it says that contact with used oil can cause cancer so thats it, another obsession rears its ugly head, im paying over £100 to get the car serviced just so I dont have to top the oil up myself - I know its crazy but I cant do it I just cant. my sister stored some of her oil in my boot and its leaked a bit - ive had to remove the boot lining and bin it and im trying to find a place to buy another one now. but my husband moved the leaky oil canister then washed his hands, I now think the sink is contaminated with oil and no matter how many time I wash it it wont go away, I feel like im going completely insane....

[Northern Star]

Hi there

Don't worry - you're not going insane at all . Have you seen your GP at all about your OCD? as that is often the first step to getting started on the road to treatment .

Welcome to the board btw, I hope you find it useful . I think you'll find it's a friendly and supportive bunch on here

[Guest luckybottle1]

yeah I saw my GP, he referred me to a counsellor but the closest place I can get an appointment at is miles away and I have two young kids and no transport, I went once and he didnt seem to tell me anything I didnt already know so I packed it in, im on maternity leave at the mo' but when I go back to work they wont let me have time off once a week to go to see a counsellor so it just doesnt seem to be for me, Id take medication but its chemicals and all that - I just feel like im on my own with this

[Guest rem]

yeah I saw my GP, he referred me to a counsellor but the closest place I can get an appointment at is miles away and I have two young kids and no transport, I went once and he didnt seem to tell me anything I didnt already know so I packed it in, im on maternity leave at the mo' but when I go back to work they wont let me have time off once a week to go to see a counsellor so it just doesnt seem to be for me, Id take medication but its chemicals and all that - I just feel like im on my own with this

31612[/snapback]

hello there, im new too :+)

No you are not alone, i also am very frghtened of chemicals, but for different reasons, i think they will make me start hallucinating and losing control..i had a drink spiked once, which started the whole thing going...Now im scared of loads of completely unrealistic things, i know its not true but my brain wont believe its not ..If i touch anything that smells chemical, or get an odd taste in my mouth, smell something wierd, or get anything wet on my clothes or body that i dont know, i panic and try to wash the stuff off, or if i cant i obsess about it hugely till i cant stop! i know its irrational but i cant stop. i hate eating or drinking with people i dont trust incase there are chemicals in there...i hate perfume, incense...oh god the list goes on.anyway ive been having behavioural therapy for a few years now, and it seems to be helping me, the most important thing i had to learn was how to deal with the anxiety bit by bit, step by step, till you start being able to understand these things cant harm you...its a long long process, but im loads better now, i used to not be able to leave the house, but now i run my own business, even sing on stage, go out with friends etc..i still get the fears but i dont have to act on them as much..still ****** hard to live with tho....but ive had it for years and i havent gone totally mad yet, so im guesing we not mad, we just "unusual"hehe...lots of luck to you, please do seek some help tho because its so bad to be so trapped by what are essentially just dramatic thoughts...

xxrem

[Guest luckybottle1]

well its nice to know its not just me, you hear all these things about OCD sufferers being scared of germs and things but never things like chemical phobias or anything, I thought my problem was some sort of unique variation of the illness, i feel relieved to know im not alone with this, although I wouldnt wish this on you or anyone else if you know what I mean, I dont mean to sound insensitive or anything!

I think the thing that stops me getting treatment is that Ive read that all these things cause cancer so Im like "yeah a counsellor can tell me its all in my head but look, theres hard proof that it DOES cause cancer so ive got good reason to worry and I cant believe Ive never worried about this before!" so I cant ever imagine not thinking about these things...the worst bit at the moment is thinking "you'll probably get cancer just from worrying this much, all these chemicals will be fine and you'll die from overworrying!" so then I worry about worrying, I just wish I could have a holiday away from my head for a bit!