responsibility and confidence

[whitebeam]

Hi all,

I have been having problems recently with

- responsibility

- a lack of confidence

I think it's all linked.

As I've been getting better, so I've gradually started taking more things on, but recently my confidence has gone and I think I am worse off than before I tried to do more things.

1. I have been involved in producing a newsletter with a small group of service users - it was fine all the time I just did my little bit. When the professional involved had less time available for the project, I quite happily offered to do an article on the front page and take on the actual compilation of the newsletter and then everything went pear-shaped. I worried I would be sued for taking quotes from other people's work (even though I added my sources where I could) and also about the responsibility for the whole newsletter as I was putting it together.

2. Last year a small group of us (with backing by my psychologist) tried to organise a support group - for anyone attending our community mental health centre......cutting a long story short, we didn't get it off the ground and so decided on a re-launch. My psychologist thought it might be 'empowering' for me to chair this meeting - I was a bit wary, but thought I would manage (with her support) to get the ideas over to a new core group (3 people). I'm usually reasonably confident in speaking but I was so nervous, I could hardly string two words together - so the meeting was far from empowering for me.

I finished seeing my psychologist at Christmas and am now 'flying solo' - I don't know if that's why I'm finding it difficult. I really feel I want to discuss my feelings with someone, but don't feel bad enough to need counselling.

So I think that's what I'm doing here - unloading and, hopefully by putting it into words, I will get things into perspective.

Sorry about the moan

whitebeam

[Guest Kitty]

Hi whitebeam

It's always difficult to try and find the right balance between doing too much/not doing enough I find.

I understand your problems with the newsletter - but it does sound like you did everything you could to do a thorough and professional job, but I totally understand how the 'what if's?' creep in and make you doubt what you're doing...

It sounds like you had a bad experience with chairing the meeting, and I know it's easy for me to sit here and type this to you, but you DID do it. Sure, it didn't go as well as you'd planned, but I think it was a major achievement that you agreed to do it and then followed it through. I know that's not much help to you, but I think that was a very positive thing.

As Ittyk rightly says - we are all here for you to offload to anytime you need us, just sit down and type and tell us how you're feeling - we want to help you and make sure you come through this. You're a lovely, kind person whitebeam and you WILL get through this! We'll support you

Take care

Love from K

xx

[Northern Star]

Hiya sugarplum

Like Queens has said YOU MANAGED IT!!! That's more than I would have done! I would have chickened out before I even got there I think so a huge methinks is deserved .

It is bound to be harder now you have stopped seeing your psych (as ittyk has said - they've all beaten me to it! ) but remember that you are lovely and kind and lovely and supportive and....did I forget something? Oh yes, lovely! And we are here for you :)

[whitebeam]

Thank you, all.

:clover:

[catherine]

Hi whitebeam

I remember when I was discharged from my psychologist following my first real period of illness a good few years ago, I'll always remember her saying that although I was ready to go it alone, it would not be a level path along my journey. There would be some steady going, some peaks and some troughs and that's always stayed with me and been proven to be the case.

It sounds as though you have hit a little trough and it must seem like a steep climb back to the top, and very frightening as it's your first real test since completing therapy. I know when I had my first 'crisis' it was really scarey and I felt very alone. But I drew on all the work I'd done with my therapist and got through it :clover: . In fact afterwards it felt like an enormous relief that I'd come through and got it over with, and the next one became a bit easier .

But that letting go, especially I think when you've had a good experience of therapy is actually like a bereavement. You are experiencing a loss and an important support system, and the big wide world seems very scarey.

Hold on to all your capabilities as you go through this crisis of confidence and really think back to how you and your therapist would have tackled it. If you can conquer that then your back on the road again

Take care

Catherine

[Stephen]

Hi WHitebeam

I'd have you to compile my newsletter and chair my meeting any day.

Love

Stephen

[whitebeam]

thanks for the vote of confidence, Stephen

Thanks, too, for your post, Catherine

[Guest whirlwind]

Hi all,

I have been having problems recently with

- responsibility

- a lack of confidence

I think it's all linked.

As I've been getting better, so I've gradually started taking more things on, but recently my confidence has gone and I think I am worse off than before I tried to do more things.

1. I have been involved in producing a newsletter with a small group of service users - it was fine all the time I just did my little bit. When the professional involved had less time available for the project, I quite happily offered to do an article on the front page and take on the actual compilation of the newsletter and then everything went pear-shaped. I worried I would be sued for taking quotes from other people's work (even though I added my sources where I could) and also about the responsibility for the whole newsletter as I was putting it together.

2. Last year a small group of us (with backing by my psychologist) tried to organise a support group - for anyone attending our community mental health centre......cutting a long story short, we didn't get it off the ground and so decided on a re-launch. My psychologist thought it might be 'empowering' for me to chair this meeting - I was a bit wary, but thought I would manage (with her support) to get the ideas over to a new core group (3 people). I'm usually reasonably confident in speaking but I was so nervous, I could hardly string two words together - so the meeting was far from empowering for me.

I finished seeing my psychologist at Christmas and am now 'flying solo' - I don't know if that's why I'm finding it difficult. I really feel I want to discuss my feelings with someone, but don't feel bad enough to need counselling.

So I think that's what I'm doing here - unloading and, hopefully by putting it into words, I will get things into perspective.

Sorry about the moan 

whitebeam

31692[/snapback]

One of my main obsessions is worrying about being sued (Im not even sure what for half the time!!) - you dont know how much reading your post has made me feel so much less abnormal - :lol:

Taking responsibility is something I have a real problem with too - fear of being blamed if it all goes wrong.