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Thoughts and Guilt about action


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Sorry guys, one last question (I know I always say that!)...

Would it be common in your experience to obsess about actions you have donw, and worry and feel guilty about them till you get re-assurance. Naturally I am not perfect, and have said or done things wrong. I find maybe if I was rude to someone 6 months ago, the memory might spring into my mind and feel guilty and the thought pre-occupies my brain, until I can release it. I think these are harder to deal with in a way, as I cannot tell myself they are crazy thoughts as they are in fact things I mightr have said however small. The uni doctor was really helpful and is wrtign to the psychiatrist, thought she was sayign things like "if the thoughts become voices" coem back straight away (which they never do) so I hope I'm not wasting time or over-exagerratign my fears. OI realise there are people with far more serious issues concernign thoughts. Some days are fine and others are not, and it is only when I am alone that things tend to get worse.

I assume that the brain must make a bad thought out of the path you are going down? For example I know a girl who is really cool, but didn't do very well at school, I might in my head go "she's really thick". I don't want to think this, but sub-consicously knowing she might have struggled a bit at school probbaly led me down the path, which the brain made the crude remark. The same happens a lot with poor people which bothers me, because as a person (I hope anyway) I respect everyone no matter their financial status. The thing is while you are aware you have these thoughts, more and more pop up. I get re-assurance from Mum but sometimes I think this is the worst thing as it encourages to keep having to gain re-assurance.

Anyway sorry for this rant, I'm cool this week cos the snooker's on all week and I love it! Should be workign on my dissertation, but hey that can wait until next week :-D

In conclusion my question is can OCD amke you suffer about your actions, and how do you cope with theis guilt when you have nothing to blame oit on as it was actually you?

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Guest ace of base fan

i think i understand what you mean when you worry about actions you have taken,i often worry about things i have said instead of the usual things i have thought.worry alot about things i have done when drunk as well and constantly seek assurance from friends afterwards which is one of the things i really hate about myself that i wish i could cope without needing my friends to say im alright and what i have said and done isnt bad but that does stop me from worrying about it so much but it does make feel like a little child that always needs comfort.but i think you dont need to worry about your thoughts because it is the ocd making you take notice of the thoughts you have and it is perfectly normal to have thoughts you do about people its the anxiety which can make them into something worse.

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Mcajshaw

This sounds very typical of obsessive thought processes to me :wallbash: Certainly the needing reassurance is very anxiety provoking and I know what you mean when you describe dissecting conversations you had in the past. It is the doubt factor of OCD coming into play.

You also talk about unwanted thoughts which may take the form of insults. This is soooooooooo distressing :wallbash: . You don't really want to feel these things eg he's ugly or stupid because you are not the type of character who does this, but eating away is this unconsious thought that is insulting. That is OCD to a tee, it makes you think everything you don't want to think and is so alien to how you are as a person. I agree totally that this in turn generates a lot of guilt. The only way I have tried to deal with this problem is to tell myself it is the OCD talking and not 'me', but I have to admit I still struggle with the guilt factor. I know this sounds a bit bizzare, but if I didn't feel guilty, I'd feel guilty about not feeling guilty :clover:

But what you describe is real 'o' and in my experience we can only try to convince ourselves that it really is the OCD talking and not us.

Take care

Catherine :wallbash:

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Hi,

I have often worried about things I have actually done/ said, etc, in the past and then started worrying obsessively about them and felt huge guilt. One thing that has helped me with this is my therapist explaining to me that it is MY RESPONSE to the action/ thought that is OCD, i.e. disproportionate/ exaggerated guilt, not what I have done/ said, which is in the "normal" (for want of a better word) range of people making mistakes, etc. I have confessed many things to my husband/ mom/ therapist who had totally "normal" reactions to them which then made me realise how I was seeing things all out of perspective.

Ian Osborne's book "Tormenting thoughts and secret rituals" discusses exaggerated guilt quite a bit.

Take care,

Alpha

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Thanks for the replies guys, and Catherine YOU HIT THE NATIL ON THE HEAD! haha in saying "I feel guilty if I dont feel guilty"...I can completely understand that...

Essentially in that case we cant win *unless* we feel guilty! Makes me feel happier reading similar accounts of thoughts from you guys.

Cheers and take care,

Jon.

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Guest Dragonfruit
For example I know a girl who is really cool, but didn't do very well at school, I might in my head go "she's really thick".  I don't want to think this, but sub-consicously knowing she might have struggled a bit at school probbaly led me down the path, which the brain made the crude remark. The same happens a lot with poor people which bothers me, because as a person (I hope anyway)  I respect everyone no matter their financial status.  The thing is while you are aware you have these thoughts, more and more pop up. 

31857[/snapback]

This could SOOOOOOOO be me!

It used to really bother me - but now I just accept the thought when it comes and say to myself something like "yeah - whatever" and I've found that that has helped so much more than the constant reassurance I'd give myself "I don't mean that - I know I don't - but what if I do think that really deep down - suppose I am actually this mean I just don't want to accept it - no - no I know I don't mean it................"

I've also found that the more I've been able to accept the thoughts the fewer I've had to deal with.

If you allow yourself to accept them you remove their power to distress you.

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Hi,

This is sooo me aswell!!

I also get the feeling guilty for not feeling guilty response, and I also get to the point where if I try and accept the thoughts as Dragonfruit does, I then convince myself that it's not OCD because I'm 'not' feeling anxious, and so then the anxiety creeps in because I then feel as if what I'm thinking 'is' me, and not the OCD.

If that makes any sense??

Love Andrea

xx

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Guest Brainstrain
Hi,

This is sooo me aswell!!

I also get the feeling guilty for not feeling guilty response, and I also get to the point where if I try and accept the thoughts as Dragonfruit does, I then convince myself that it's not OCD because I'm 'not' feeling anxious, and so then the anxiety creeps in because I then feel as if what I'm thinking 'is' me, and not the OCD.

If that makes any sense??

Love Andrea

xx

32020[/snapback]

Hi all and Andrea

I know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty about not feeling guilty and then doubting whether it's the ocd etc. For example, since I have been coming on this site I have found great reassurance from others having the same 'symptoms' or thoughts as me which has allowed me to believe that the thoughts I'm having are because of ocd and not me. However if I ever get too complacent it starts coming up on me saying 'well you're not worried about the thoughts now so maybe you do think them and it's not ocd' starting it all off again. Sorry to be rambly but I hope you get what I mean!

Brainstrain :thumbup:

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Guest Brainstrain
Would it be common in your experience to obsess about actions you have donw, and worry and feel guilty about them till you get re-assurance.  Naturally I am not perfect, and have said or done things wrong. 

Hi

I have this too. I often remember things I have done sometimes going back years and feel immense anxiety and guilt about them and I feel a really urgent need to tell either my husband or mum about it. One of my problems now is that I can be a little bit of a blabber mouth which I absolutely hate. But basically I don't do it on purpose it might just come up in a conversation and I end up telling someone something that someone else has said or done, not to cause any trouble but because I think at the time that it can't do any harm and it is just harmless chat. But later on I just get completely overrun with fear of what will happen if that person tells someone else or if the person I was talking about finds out I told somebody else etc etc.

It makes me feel sick that I am such a horrible person to do this in the first place but I realise my mum gossips a lot so maybe I have picked it up from her a bit. The trouble is when I am actually doing it, it seems fine and I sometimes think before I say something and reassure myself that it's ok to tell them,but it still hits me later on. Sorry to take over your thread with my guilty ramblings you probably all think I'm a terrible person now but so do I !

Brainstrain :thumbup:

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However if I ever get too complacent it starts coming up on me saying 'well you're not worried about the thoughts now so maybe you do think them and it's not ocd' starting it all off again.  Sorry to be rambly but I hope you get what I mean!

I so get what you mean!! That's exactly it!

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