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[Guest Scarab]

Excuse me if I say something stupid, but I'm only just realising that I may have OCD. I have had intrusive thoughts on and off since I was about 15. It began when I was due to go and see a psychologist about my depression, and I remember saying to myself "I'll be alright, the only thing that would destroy me would be if I had sexual thoughts about children or animals. The reason I thought this was because I love animals and at the time I looked after my niece and nephew who I also adore.

Now, when I say thoughts they aren't actually thoughts but more like a flash of a horrible image. I hate this because I love animals and have 3 cats and a dog, and they are my babies. I can't have children but I think I would have liked them, however I thank god I can't because the intrusive thoughts would have probably made my life and theirs very difficult.

I also find these type of thoughts sometimes appear when I'm around relatives, and in the most ridiculous situations, like funerals. Sometimes they are thoughts of violence as well.

I can honestly assure everyone that I am not a Paedophile or into Bestiality, as I find the idea repulsive. Why on earth are these awful and ridiculous thoughts happening? I would give anything to stop them. :dry:

This has been a difficult post to make.

[Mcajshaw]

Your intrusive thoughts (and in particular with regards to the funeral, I attended one 2 weeks ago) can be identified with by lots of people that use this message board. I have seen a GP and am seeign a psychiatrist to try and get it sorted out. Why not contact your GP? They have heard it all before, and won't think anything bad of you mate..it might even help you to sort things out. Your brain is just pickign out the things it knows will upset you, afterall like with my experience you last think you really want to do is have crude or upsettign thoughts come into your midn whilst at a funeral.

Hope this helps a little.

Jon.

[Guest Scarab]

Your intrusive thoughts (and in particular with regards to the funeral, I attended one 2 weeks ago) can be identified with by lots of people that use this message board.  I have seen a GP and am seeign a psychiatrist to try and get it sorted out.  Why not contact your GP?  They have heard it all before, and won't think anything bad of you mate..it might even help you to sort things out.  Your brain is just pickign out the things it knows will upset you, afterall like with my experience you last think you really want to do is have crude or upsettign thoughts come into your midn whilst at a funeral.

Hope this helps a little.

Jon.

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Hi Jon,

I'm actually amazed anyone has replied as I thought people would think I was some sort of sexual deviant. Your right Jon, the last thing I want is to "have crude or upsetting thoughts". I am a happily married man and have no sexual attraction to anyone or anything other than my wife, and of course if I see an attractive woman I do think she is attractive.

I have never, ever done anything wrong and I think I'm a kind and caring person.

[Guest Smudger]

Hi Scarab :dry:

All sounds perfectly ocd to me-we're all quite friendly around here, and non-judgemental too, so don't be afraid to post whatever is on your mind.

Nice to meet you

[Guest Scarab]

That is a lovely thing to say Smudger, I am so pleased I found this website.

[Guest Smudger]

That is a lovely thing to say Smudger, I am so pleased I found this website.

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It's great here-there has been some stuff that I've posted that I thought would have had me labelled a pervert or weirdo, but everyone here is absolutely fantastic.

Have a good look around mate-I can pretty much guarantee you that you'll find there are plenty of others here with the exact same worries you have. :dry:

[Guest ocd13]

Welcome aboard Scarab!!

You can be well assured that quite a few of us on here have similar thoughts to you. I am also an animal lover and adore my cats to bits, yet I still get thoughts and images about them and it's awful!! The worst time for me was probably when I had intrusive thoughts about one of my beautiful cats telling me that I wanted him to die. That was so so painful. I also understand what you mean about the 'images' that seem to just pop into your head. I have fears that my cats will climb into the washing machine when I put washing in and then an image will pop into my mind of the washing machine on and one of my cats trapped inside. So then my compulsion is to take all the washing out and check inside the drum that neither of my cats are in there. Sometimes I don't believe that they're not in there so I sit and stare until I've convinced myself. Then I have to put the clothes back in usually one by one to make sure I'm not accidentally putting one of my cats in there.

This sounds so ridiculous because to be honest, they're probably too big to fit in my washing machine without me noticing anyway!! Still, it doesn't stop the fears and images and usually I can only get by without my compulsion to check in the washing machine if I've seen the cats just beforehand in the house - on the sofa for example.

Love Andrea

xx

[Guest han]

Hi, and welcome to the board

What you have described is a common type of ocd - there are plenty of people on this board (including myself) who have similar thoughts, so you are not alone.

if you take a look at older posts i'm sure you will find literally loads of posts which you can relate to in one way or another and which can provide you with more info.

remember, ocd can be beaten and it is no reflection on you as a person - or at least not in a bad way....i read that people with ocd often have these worries because they are more concientious and caring and are so worried about causing harm to others that that can cause the problem in the first place - apparantly everyone has these horrible thoughts but they pass them off as stupid and don't give them a second thought....so they live a perfectly "normal" life - whereas us ocd suffers get freaked out by these thoughts and so the brain puts a "mental marker" on that thought causing the brain to re-think it again and again..... until we believe we are thinking them because its what we want to do...whereas the brain is just trying to work out why we are getting so anxious about it....(?)

i don't know how true any of the above is... (and i'm sorry if none of it made sense) - i'll have a look and see if i can find a real source for this info - or maybe someone else can confirm/clarify?

anyway, take care and stay strong

H x

[Guest Dennis912]

hey -

Your thoughts aren't that bad, everyone has those thoughts time and again

it's just us OCD people that can't get rid of the thoughts..

Crazy people get these thoughts and enjoy them, the reason I know your sane is

because,

#1 you are here and concearned about these wacky thoughts

#2 you seem to be having anxiety over these thoughts

It took me awhile to find this site & I really thought I was going nuts

hang in there man & keep writting it always makes me feel alittle bit better..........

Dennis..

[Caramoole]

Hi Scarab and a big welcome to the boards

We all appreciate how difficult, and brave, it is to make that first post but you'll quickly feel relieved you did.

Your fears and thoughts are indeed very common and 'normal' in an OCD type of way. As the others have said, if you surf around the threads you will find you are far from alone in having them.

If I could give you one piece of advice (at this time of night) it would be to buy a copy of the book 'Imp of The Mind' by Lee Baer ASAP, it's available here at the online shop. You'll find that it details every Pure 'O' (purely obsessional) type of thought you've ever had (and then some) and explain why they are not dangerous and that you're not some wierdo to be feared.

If you want some comfort, take a look at the number of registered users of this site, since recent coverage in the media about OCD it is growing at an alarming rate, I think you and we will find that people with this problem are in far greater numbers than was even thought. You are amongst are great bunch of people here who have some great wisdom and support to offer.

Look forward to getting to know you and seeing your progress

[Guest Scarab]

Thank you all for the huge wave of support and understanding. I am so pleased to be here and amongst fellow sufferers.

I am just getting over a mental breakdown and depression (not caused by O.C.D) and I'm at the stage where I'm returning to work soon so I am determined to remain positive and not let my O.C.D discovery knock me off track.

I find I get these thoughts more when I'm stressed/anxious/depressed and when I'm OK they are much less frequent. Anyway, I'm on Lustral (100mg) for my depression and I understand that is a medication that is also used to treat O.C.D?

I will think about approaching my GP regarding CBT, but to be honest with the NHS waiting lists I doubt if that will be helpful. Maybe going private would be a better option, although expensive.

[Guest Smudger]

I will think about approaching my GP regarding CBT, but to be honest with the NHS waiting lists I doubt if that will be helpful. Maybe going private would be a better option, although expensive.

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I chose to go private rather than wait months on the NHS, and it costs me £40 a session-I usually have one every month or so, so the cost isn't that bad.