Just had a bad 'do'

[Guest Baggins]

Hi,

Writing this after a really bad washing 'do'. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't know why but have just experienced worst 'do' in ages. It started about 45 mins ago when someone at home opened a letter. Yes, it was just an innocent letter that I have managed to turn into a major issue!!

It all stems from the fact that I have recently developed a major phobia about the hospital I go to for CBT. The counsellor told me about something there - which is what my OCD contamination fear is based around. I knew of this potential contamination for about 6 months, and had been able to go. But it's become a big deal for me so I have abandoned treatment and haven't been for over a month.

So - tonight, we got a letter from the hospital. Of course, I can't bare to touch the letter etc but mum opened it.

Hence - all hell letting lose.

I've washed my hands, feet and hair. Changed my clothes and generally caused mayhem. Driving parents mad.

Very upset

Baggins

[Northern Star]

Hi Baggins,

Hope you're feeling a bit better by now .

I know it's a lot easier to say this than do it but please try not to worry about the letter. I can't think of what to say to make it easier for you but try to remember that it's not you, it's your OCD.

[Guest harmony]

Sorry but could I ask

What is the contamination?

What did your counsellor tell you about the Hospital?

Alan

[Guest Jalvo]

:blushing:

I think I know exactly how you feel.

I also hate letters from the hospital, specially after I was there (had some operations) last year and observed how nurses and doctors dealt with the stuff that freaks me out (blood, urine....) - and then went to do their paperwork.

But, hey, they survive, don't they? And they should be the first to know what's bad for you or not.

Right now my girlfriend is doing some psychology research/tests with patients at a hospital (and if that's not enough, they all have illnesses which involves frequent toilet visits) and she brings her laptop there which the patients have to use. There are also a lot of papers from the hospital around in the appartment now.

So I guess I just have to give in and focus on positive and reasonable thinking. If not I'd have to run away. Hehe.

In a situation like yours today, I would probably have opened the letter to keep the contamination under control - and then wash my hands. If my girlfriend would've done it, I would kindly asked her to wash her hands (perhaps not anymore). If my mom would've opened it I'd been doomed. She would never do anything to back up my OCD. Hehe.

I know exactly how you felt today. Hope things are better now. If not; tell your OCD it's NOT dangerous at all. It DOESN'T matter.

And finally tell it to off.

It can work.

[Guest matthw]

Hi Baggins,

Sorry to hear about your episode. When I was going to our local hospital to see the psychologist I was very aware about for instance who else had sat in the chair before me, in the waiting room, consulting room etc., this meant that I ended up washing and changing when I got home. On another encounter with our local mental health system I went for an initial appointment with a psychiatrist and that left me really hostile to the whole system, the place was really awful, not good from a contamination point of view. I have behaved similarly following visits to the GP too.

I should really be having CBT but have not yet been able to sort anything out. Is there any way you could build on the work you did do with the CBT therapist? Read about the process and learn as much about the techniques as possible then perhaps you could work remotely from the therapist?

I'm fairly sure you know that your Mum was only doing what she thought was right. Forgive me if I've got this wrong but did you then start to think of everything she touched and that it was 'contaminated' and so-on....? I've done this many times before, thinking out all the 'consequences' and that your whole 'ordered' system of behaving collapses around you. Horrid feeling, of anger, helplessness, confusion and despair. I tend to agree with Jalvo, think I'd have tried to 'deal with' the letter, being the least-worst option whilst remaining in 'control'.

I'm not sure how much help that is if any, sorry!

Take care,

Matthw

[Guest Baggins]

Hi,

Thank you for your replies. It really does mean a lot when people reply to posts. One of the first things I did this morning was check if there were replies. I draw strength from them.

Last night was a wobble but I have to push on and not let it get me.

The contamination fear is a major part of my life. It's been going for years now and I am struggling to crack it.

I am reluctant to go into details as I do not wish to burden fellow sufferers with a new fear to contend with!!

Thanks again folks.

Baggins