Borderline personality disorder

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi all

Just wanted to ask a question. I stumbled over a website about borderline personality disorder. So first of all have you heard of it?

If you have .......

I have always thought that all my strange quirky wierdness was soley down to ocd, which I know I definately have. However I seemed to have a lot of the traits that they discribed on the bpd site too.

It said that bpd is often suffered with alongside ocd which would make sense. However some of what it said on the site has worried me as it basically said that someone like my husband - who is in a way a little vulnerable through a bad childhood - shouldn't be with someone with bpd as they can be very dominant and manipulative and in some cases abusive! There were even some parts of the site that seemed to be giving advice on how to end a relationship with someone who has bpd.

This sent me straight on the road to anxiety street. I mean I had never classed myself as abusive but some of the things that they classed as abusive I could relate to like getting upset if he wants to go out without me and stuff. I spoke to him about it and he didn't seem worried as he does still do what he likes really and just lets my 'madness' go over his head. So now I am doing my best to try to become more independant and less needy and try to combat everything but I'm now getting confused as to what are my real feelings, what is being caused by ocd and what, if anything, is being caused by bpd!!!!!

Sorry if all that is a bit confusing but I would be grateful if anyone had any thoughts on this or if in fact anyone else thinks they suffer from it too.

Thank you for reading

Brainstrain

[Guest Smudger]

I'm reading up on it, and I share a lot, but not all, of the traits of BPD. I'm a little scared, as if I were to have BPD I don't know what that would mean in reference to my ocd worry-would it mean I'm more likely to be the kind of person who would have done something awful?

I'll see what I can turn up.

[Guest Esm]

Hi Brainstrain

The symptoms/traits of Borderline Personality Disorder can apply to almost anyone if you think about it enough, and its the same with a lot of diagnoses. I don't think it would be helpful at all to list the symptoms of BPD here, but if you look carefully i'm sure you'll realise this. Within the medical profession there is a lot of arguement and questions about the disorder, some don't even think that it exists.

I was given a diagnoses of BPD along with OCD and BDD and although I was kind of mortified at first and determined to disprove the diagnoses, I did eventually admit that I was exhibiting the classic symptoms. That was a few years ago now and Ive changed considerably since that time. I put my behaviour during that time down to the fact that I was young, scared, and suffering badly from OCD

What I'm trying to say is that yes maybe you have got BPD, but why look for another condition to suffer from. Its easy to apply the symptoms of BPD to yourself, just don't be in too much of a hurry to self diagnose. If you look hard enough you could quite easily convince yourself that you suffer from anything

From what you have written, it sounds as if this is simply your OCD coming into play.

If you were diagnosed with BPD it wouldn't mean you were a bad person, more inclined to do something awful than any other person. It wouldn't mean that in the slightest!

BPD is often suffered alongside a whole host of other disorders, not just OCD.

Honestly I really wouldn't worry yourself about this. I really do think its your OCD talking!

[Guest Smudger]

I'm finding this very confusing. Hopefully someone who understands the disorder will happen along here, as I'm just starting to wind myself up, and it doesn't help that the websites I've visited feel so bloody cold and clinical.

The internet is a bad, bad place.

Sorry for hi-jacking your topic Brainstrain-I just got a bit worried.

[Guest Brainstrain]

I'm finding this very confusing. Hopefully someone who understands the disorder will happen along here, as I'm just starting to wind myself up, and it doesn't help that the websites I've visited feel so bloody cold and clinical.

The internet is a bad, bad place.  :crybaby:

Sorry for hi-jacking your topic Brainstrain-I just got a bit worried.  :hug:

32161[/snapback]

Hi

Don't worry Smudger you haven't hijacked it at all, I wanted to know others' thoughts on it, and anyway, I need to say sorry to you really for giving you something else to worry about!!!!

esn, thanks for your reply. What you've said does make sense but unfortunately my ocd or whatever has convinced me I have it and am a terrible selfish person!!! oh dear! I wish I was a rational person then what you have said would have reassured me completely!

Brainstrain :dry:

[Guest Smudger]

No need to apologise! :hug:

I was aware of BPD, just never got round to looking it up before-it would have happened eventually. I'm fine now though. :crybaby:

What you've said does make sense but unfortunately my ocd or whatever has convinced me I have it and am a terrible selfish person!!!

32166[/snapback]

Exactly-you're ocd has done this, and to kind of prove the point, a 'terrible, selfish person' wouldn't be worrying about this-they'd be trying to lay the blame on someone else.

[Bobby Chariot]

due to an inexperienced psychologist leaping to conclusions and being a bit overfree with her labelling, i was (mistakenly, as it turns out) diagnosed as having BPD, and the 'professional' kindly also advised my parents that it was possible i might harm them (this actually being one of my greatest fears at the time, which i had expressed, but was misinterpreted).

Apparently the fact that i self-harmed and had had numerous overdoses (some just cries for help, some more serious) didn't fit in with a 'typical' OCD-er in the psychologist's 'paint by numbers' big book of diagnosis....

i was subsequently examined by a forensic psychiatrist after a brief spell on a locked ward, who fortunately intervened and got me discharged...

for the next 16 years i didn't seek help for my symptoms, as i was obviously a 'bad person' (a professional had told me, so it must be true), had a very strained relationship with my parents, and lived in a world of fear and self hatred...

tum ti tum...

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Smudger

You got me!!! You are right, I suppose if I was selfish etc I wouldn't be worrying about it I would just do everything without even thinking about it, you do give good advice!

Caveman

So sorry to hear that you had such a bad time with this, hope that things are better for you now, I can't imagine how awful you must have felt having your ocd thought of harming your parents confirmed by your supposed 'psychiatrist'! I felt bad enough when at Christmas in a drunken conversation my brother in law hinted at one of my greatest fears - hurting my husband - by saying (Completely unprovoked and out of the blue) 'if you ever hurt my brother I will ******* kill all your family starting with your brother' and that was just from a drunken person who isn't very nice anyway so having a so-called professional say it must have been miles worse. ho-hum! Why do we have to feel this way?

Brainstrain :hug:

[Caramoole]

I've got to agree with Esm and would advise not attaching this label. You are the same person as you were last week, last month, last year...so is your relationship with your husband. Many people with OCD are completely manipulative in the way that they make partners comply with rituals. So are people with anxiety who don't want to be alone. Even in any marriage/partnership I bet each partner is manipulative in some ways.

Although a healthy knowledege of your condition is very helpful, I think there is a danger when we endlessly trawl the web, books etc trying in vain to find that definitive piece of information that we will recognise or that will 'cure' us. It isn't there. The only way to take charge of this thing is to find the courage to attack it head on.

OCD can talk you into thinking that you've got any of thousands of conditions, BDP being no different. Until your GP or pysch makes the diagnosis, show this worry the door and don't invite it in.

[Guest ocd13]

Hi all

Just wanted to ask a question.  I stumbled over a website about borderline personality disorder.  So first of all have you heard of it?

If you have .......

I have always thought that all my strange quirky wierdness was soley down to ocd, which I know I definately have.  However I seemed to have a lot of the traits that they discribed  on the bpd site too. 

It said that bpd is often suffered with alongside ocd which would make sense.  However some of what it said on the site has worried me as it basically said that someone like my husband - who is in a way a little vulnerable through a bad childhood - shouldn't be with someone with bpd as they can be very dominant and manipulative and in some cases abusive!  There were even some parts of the site that seemed to be giving advice on how to end a relationship with someone who has bpd. 

This sent me straight on the road to anxiety street.  I mean I had never classed myself as abusive but some of the things that they classed as abusive I could relate to like getting upset if he wants to go out without me and stuff.  I spoke to him about it and he didn't seem worried as he does still do what he likes really and just lets my 'madness' go over his head.  So now I am doing my best to try to become more independant and less needy and try to combat everything but I'm now getting confused as to what are my real feelings, what is being caused by ocd and what, if anything, is being caused by bpd!!!!!

Sorry if all that is a bit confusing but I would be grateful if anyone had any thoughts on this or if in fact anyone else thinks they suffer from it too.

Thank you for reading

Brainstrain  :hug:

32147[/snapback]

Hi Brainstrain,

Firstly I would like to mention that researching on the internet for illnesses/mental disorders and becoming anxious and worrying about what you read is in fact another classic symptom of OCD. You will find that myself and a few others on here have the same problem.

Secondly, I would like to say that I don't see any reason whatsoever as to why you and your husband should break up just because some silly website has advised it. If you seriously think you may be suffering with BPD, then I would suggest you go to a professional and have it diagnosed and then worry about repercussions if (that's a big IF) and when they happen. If the worst happened, it wouldn't mean on giving up a relationship - there would be other options to explore first such as counselling, etc. and I only say all of this if it was a problem, which to me by the sounds of it, it isn't a problem.

I personally believe that the reasons you are getting upset if your husband goes out without you is probably down to a deep-rooted fear of insecurity to which your OCD acts upon in a big way. I too am guilty of getting upset (or have done in the past) if my partners have wanted to go out without me.

So now I am doing my best to try to become more independant and less needy and try to combat everything but I'm now getting confused as to what are my real feelings, what is being caused by ocd

With regards to what you've said here, I urge you to explore this with great caution. My last relationship had me going through the exact same process - to the point where I now don't know if I'm right or wrong with certain situations and whether my feelings are real or not. Basically, by being with someone who was more independent, for me, that relationship was wrong and he put me down a lot to the point that I didn't know who I was anymore. To this day, I am now struggling with my identity and the person I'm currently seeing actually tells me I apologise for things far too much. Becoming less dependent is one thing, but don't lose yourself in the process as I have done.

Finally, the fact that you are now on the road to "Anxiety Street" because you read up on BPD, just proves that this is your OCD.

I hope this helps a little.

Love Andrea

xx

I'm reading up on it, and I share a lot, but not all, of the traits of BPD. I'm a little scared, as if I were to have BPD I don't know what that would mean in reference to my ocd worry-would it mean I'm more likely to be the kind of person who would have done something awful?

I'll see what I can turn up.

32156[/snapback]

As for you Mr Smudge, I somehow get the feeling that from experience of talking to you, etc. you are far from BPD so you can put that to rest right now!!

[Guest Smudger]

As for you Mr Smudge, I somehow get the feeling that from experience of talking to you, etc. you are far from BPD so you can put that to rest right now!!

32185[/snapback]

:hug:

Thankyou :crybaby:

Good advice you gave there, by the way :dry:

I hate ocd. It smells of wee.

[Guest ocd13]

:hug:

Thankyou :dry:

Good advice you gave there, by the way

I hate ocd. It smells of wee.

32186[/snapback]

Thanks chum!

:crybaby: OCD smelling of wee made me laugh. That's the sort of thing I come out with!!

[Guest whirlwind]

Hi all

I agree you can drive yourself crazy getting information on the web and then the OCD misinterprets it for you!!