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sex,ocd and anxiety


Guest cerenbrackston

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Guest cerenbrackston

Hi Everybody;

I just wanna to ask about if anyone have diffuculties having sex with their partner cause of anxiety and ocd thoughts..

I am on medication as well and my obsessive thoughts makes me scarey that i cant enjoy i want to have it but something stopping me and i hate that.

i just wonder if anybody haveing the difficulties like me?

many thanks

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Hi Ceren,

Lack of interest in sex is fairly common when people are suffering from anxiety and depression. Also some of the anti-depressant medication that is prescribed can be partly responsible for people feeling this way. Have you checked to find out if it is a side effect of your medication? If it is maybe your GP could give you an alternative.

Maybe it is just how you are feeling at the moment and in a short while when you hopefully feel better you will get back to how you used to feel.

Patsy x

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Guest cerenbrackston

Hi dears

thanks for replying...I am on mirtazapine and it suppose to make me calm down and it does but i still have the anxiety for my ocd..cause this tablet i think only anti depressan...

I am going to see my doctor on wednesyday next week..i try to keep myself calm down and relax..

THank God that my hubby is so understable he says when you feel like it we will have get yourself better first..Its so long journey really..It has been 4 months and i feel like i am in the same way and nothing is improving..my obsessions everywhere..i am gonna beat it whatever happends...

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Hiya cerenbrackston,

I know EXACTLY what you mean!! Strange thing with me though, is I have not gone off sex even though I am suffering from depression. In fact I'm probably having it more than ever :clap: at the moment.

However, the OCD is a problem. Even if I'm in the mood and try to ignore my OCD and go ahead with the 'deed', sometimes I will be totally engrossed in the act itself, but at other times (a lot of the time), I will get a thought in my head that has absolutely nothing to do with sex - and then I obsess about it and try and force it out of my head, which then in turn makes me focus on it even more.

I think the thing to try and do if the thoughts start entering your head, is to just try and adopt the "don't care" or "it doesn't matter" attitude. If that doesn't work; rather than focusing on how you are feeling, start focusing on how your husband is feeling and then you will hopefully stop worrying about yourself (in the nicest way possible of course!).

Another trick is to use fantasy. The good thing with fantasies is that it doesn't matter what they are because they are not real, and they don't indicate that it's something you're capable of or actually want to carry out in reality. You could either try sharing your fantasies with your husband, or sometimes you could create a mental image of an act that you enjoy thinking about. Another option I have used is to think of a female idol who you find to be sexy - whether it's a film star, a model or someone of a similar nature, and adopt their attitude to sex. I usually find that if my OCD starts interfering, if I can conjure up something to really get me in the mood, then it does help.

One more thing you could try (which I also find helpful) is to not actually plan on having sex, but instead just touch each other lovingly. Sometimes just having your back stroked or your neck kissed can bring all those natural feelings on which will have you back in the mood in no time.

Don't plan - just enjoy the moment and try to be spontaneous. Even liven your sex life up by doing something different, for example having sex in a different location to normal.

I shall take off my 'Sex Therapist' hat now and hope that nobody catches on that I watch way too many sex therapy shows... :D :grin:

Love Andrea

xx

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One more thing you could try (which I also find helpful) is to not actually plan on having sex, but instead just touch each other lovingly. Sometimes just having your back stroked or your neck kissed can bring all those natural feelings on which will have you back in the mood in no time.

Sorry to hear your having problems Ceren, this OCD pops up everywhere, doesn't it?

Andreas advice above is probably one of the best ways to approach this problem. Make a pact with your partner that you'll avoid full sex for the time being and just enjoy being held, kissed, whatever you feel comfortable with. It will take a great deal of pressure off knowing that you're in control. Often we avoid any contact for fear that it's going to give the wrong message and lead to sex, hence you tense up and pull away.

Your partner sounds very understanding, so I'm sure he'll be prepared to move at your pace.

Good Luck :huh:

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Guest cerenbrackston

I think anxiety and ocd make a big border to me not to have sex..fear stupid thoughts basicly..

I belive that when the time is right we shall have it and in a healthier way..we are cuddling,huggin in these days

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