Do I have Pure O?

[Guest ol2hlp]

Hello All

I am a 27 year old female with (I'm pretty sure) Pure O. I have obsessive thoughts about harming my 15 month old daughter and my 9 year old son. I also have obseesive thoughts than I will choke, drop dead of a blood clot, heart attack, never wake up and etc. I have these thoughts about my children and husband. I check my daughter frequently when she is sleeping. I think is my son leaves he will get hit by a car. I hate to fly of have anyone in my family fly.So I am a caring homicidal maniac LOL Sorry bad humor I am a very loving person and I ADORE my children. When I walk by a knife I fear some force is going to take over me and I am going to slaughter everyone. This is delibilatating and terrifying. I was hysterical last night and then today I came across this message board and read the MOST WONDERFUL thing I have ever heard which was a enlightening and comforting post by Caramoole. I spent 3 hours is the ER last night afraid that I was going to crack. I had no idea that other people think the same scary thoughts and I am more relieved and relaxed than I have ever been thank you for your help OCD community and any advise, hints, tips and help is VERY appreciated.

[Guest ocd13]

Hello ol2hlp and

It definitely sounds like you have pure 'O' to me and I'm sorry to hear the distress it's been causing you. I'm glad you have found this board and everyone here is very friendly and supportive and will never judge you, so you should find it very helpful! :crybaby:

I too suffer from intrusive thoughts - some of those which you've included in your list. I also have a choking fear and have been thinking about it lately and wondering if it's another aspect to my OCD. I can't drink in front of people unless I'm discreet because I start obsessing that I will choke on it. Then because I'm obsessing about it, it's as if my mind is trying to make it happen because there have been a couple of episodes where I've convinced myself (even when home alone) that I'll be okay and then have choked on it!!

I don't know if this is the same sort of choking fear that you suffer from, but I just wanted to give you an example...

Welcome again and I hope you find the board useful!!

Love Andrea

xx

[Guest cerenbrackston]

Dear ol2hlp

First of all you are not alone..i have the same obsessive thoughts as u have..i am 28 and i have had these thoughts since when i was 20..I dont know if you are on medication or not..its best not to fight with those thoughts..just accept them and tell your self that this is not me this is ocd,chemical imbalance in my brain..and try to focus somethingelse even 10 sec..do this everyday and make the councentration higher and higher..

I also bought today fishoil which is very good with the brain and e vitamin is very good with the brain.I will also suggest you to get brainlock book which is brilliant..it will give you confidence.

take care and keep writing here..

dont forget u are not going to harm anyone..your brain is making trick with you..when the thoughts come ..ITS OCD THATS NOT ME..CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN THE BRAIN..

xxxx

Ceren

[Guest ol2hlp]

Hello ol2hlp and

It definitely sounds like you have pure 'O' to me and I'm sorry to hear the distress it's been causing you.  I'm glad you have found this board and everyone here is very friendly and supportive and will never judge you, so you should find it very helpful!  :crybaby:

Thank you so much for the welcome!

Realizing that YES I have these thoughts but NO I will not act on them has made all the difference. My fear of choking is when I am eating. It has also migrated to my kids, my family, people at restaurants, etc. I constantly fear that someone will choke and die. Especially my kids Whooooo, I puree everything LOL and my son is 9 Every twinge in my body signals to me that I am at death's door. But last night I realized my fear isn't death, it is being a bad person. I would rather face death than hurt another human being.

The choking thing doesn't bother me and I deal with most of my obsessive thoughts pretty well. I think I am too lazy to take it any furthur!

[Guest ol2hlp]

Dear ol2hlp

First of all you are not alone..i have the same obsessive thoughts as u have..i am 28 and i have had these thoughts since when i was 20..I dont know if you are on medication or not..its best not to fight with those thoughts..just accept them and tell your self that this is not me this is ocd,chemical imbalance in my brain..and try to focus somethingelse even 10 sec..do this everyday and make the councentration higher and higher..

Thank you so much!

There is so much safety in numbers

I will get the book right now and appreciate the link. This all began around age 20 (with panic attacks)for me too! But the super frightening thought about harming people(especially my kids) is what I just couldn't deal with because I have been dealing with the other one's for 7 years now just fine. Knowing I can be by myself with my daughter has made me so much more confident! I was afraid to bathe her!

Or even be alone with her. The fear is still there but not as intense.

Thank you again

[Ashley]

Hi There, another good book for pure 'o' is called Imp of the Mind, both books mentioned are available on our website at:

http://www.ocduk.org/shop

Welcome to the forums

[Guest ol2hlp]

Hi There, another good book for pure 'o' is called Imp of the Mind, both books mentioned are available on our website at:

http://www.ocduk.org/shop

Welcome to the forums

32761[/snapback]

Thank you so much

[Guest Lucia]

Yes, this is classic pure O. Thank goodness you have found out what's wrong. That is a real cause for celebration as now you can get help. Better times are ahead.

What's happening is that there is a chemical fault in one area of your brain. Lots of people have this fault and those who have it usually suffer some form of OCD. It doesn't mean you are going mad or anything like that.

lots of false messages into your consciousness, always connected with danger or harm of some sort. It's just like a car alarm going off for no reason. The thoughts you are getting are the result of the fault in your brain, you don't have to listen to them, or do anything about them. It's just false alarms.

To get better, my experience has been that I had to do a lot of learning about the illness and its causes and get good medical treatment eg CBT. Medication also helps many people. Keep coming back to the board, it will help you too. You are certainly not alone! This is a horrible illness but you get to be a really strong and wise person from learning to deal with it and overcome it.

With love and sympathy

[Guest han]

Hi,

welcome to the board . hopefully the people here can make you feel a lot better and make it all a lot less scary for you i understand how scary it all is, especially the first time these thoughts crop up

take care, and remember you are definately not alone.

H xx

[Guest rubytuesday]

hey there my heart totally goes out to you, i recall having the exact same thoughts about knives, it was during the time of the hollyoaks toby serial killer thing and i was convinced i was going to stab my flatmate. i later told her this when i cleared up what was wrong with me and got a bit of perspective on this and she told me she could kick my ass which made me feel alot better (ps she def could...that doesnt help at the time though alas) i was also terrified id kill my girlfriend when we were sharing a bed, though obviously i loved her. ocd will go for whatever is dearest to you and thats why it can frighten the hell out of you but stay strong, now that you've worked out what it is you're on your way to far better days. as my psych said to me 'how many people you killed so far?' answer 'none' he said 'so you're not very good serial killer are you!' this made me feel so much better.

good luck

amyxxx

[Caramoole]

So I am a caring homicidal maniac

Welcome to our World...I was one of them as well :tongue:

I'm not sure what it was that I said, but whatever, I'm glad it struck a chord and helped You'll find there'll be lots of posts all over the boards that inspire you, we're all a pretty clever bunch :lol2:

Seriously, welcome to the boards, I'm sure you'll gain so much from them. Each and every one of your symtoms and fears are ALL OCD and I really would recommend 'Imp of The Mind' as Ashie suggested. It really normalises all those dreadful thoughts you thought only YOU had.

Feel free to ask away, you'll find everyone happy to help and nothing you can say will shock, one of us will have already beaten you to it

Caramoole

[Guest ol2hlp]

So I am a caring homicidal maniac

Welcome to our World...I was one of them as well  :tongue:

Hello

I would just like to thank everyone for the responses and I have ordered both of the books online.

Caramoole, you said "I save flies damn it", and when I read this I knew I would be ok....Because I do too Simple yet complex for my Pure O mind. He he he OXOX

[Guest MPP]

Hello ol2hlp,

It sure sounds like you have the Pure O form of OCD...best thing to do is go to a Doctor, they should then refer you to a specialist.

Going to the Dr is not as terrifying as it sounds and believe me, you will feel better for it.

There are some excellent articles to read which will enlighten you even more to this vicious illness and should alleviate a lot of your fears.

http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/ocd_obsessions.html

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.htm

Also, check out my first post here, perhaps you will find something familiar in there.

http://www.ocduk.org/forums/index.php?act=...indpost&p=26982

Have faith, all will work out in the end and you WILL begin to feel better.

I suggest buying `Imp of the Mind` from OCD-UK.