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Temptation


Guest Beth

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I've been noticing something weird recently. I get temptations to do stuff, sometimes serious stuff. A not so serious one was when I was walking and as I was approaching a car, I thought about my handprint in the snow on the car, and I kept thinking about it and I had to do it even though I was scared the alarm would go off. Then on Friday when I was in the car I thought about what would happen if I opened the door even though my dad was driving. I even thought about what would happen if I jumped out, the temptation to do it got bigger and bigger. I just kept thinking about it unwillingly and I had to stop myself doing it and became quite scared that I might. I felt like I'd lost control over myself.

I just wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similiar. If so please let me know so I don't keep thinking I'm weird.

Beth

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Guest Beckett93

I can't remember if it was Brain Lock or Over and Over Again, but one of those books had an account of one sufferer who had urges to close his eyes while he was driving down the freeway, so no, you aren't weird. Personally, I had the urges to kick people, when I was a student I had the urge to stab the person sitting in the desk ahead of me in the back with a pencil, and other not so nice things I won't describe. One of the things about OCD is the fear that one will lose control of some urges that they do not wish they even had. It may feel like you are going to do something regrettable, but you won't. Putting your hand in the snow on a car doesn't mean you are going to eventually jump from a moving vehicle. As you wrote in your post, the hand in the snow was not a serious type of action, so deep down you are well aware there are lines not to be crossed and you will never cross them because you don't really want to. The fact that you were scared you might actually jump from the car shows it is not originating with the real you. OCD loves to frighten and that is what it is trying to do, frighten you.

Sorry for being so long-winded :censored: Just let me repeat that you are not weird and you will be okay :thumbup: I wish you all the best.

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Guest lilyelspeth
I can't remember if it was Brain Lock or Over and Over Again, but one of those books had an account of one sufferer who had urges to close his eyes while he was driving down the freeway, so no, you aren't weird.

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I believe that is Over and Over Again (which is an excellent read). Believe me, you aren't weird. I do things like this all the time. For me, I think it has something to do with my fear of making mistakes and being so uptight about everything. I guess it's another one of those baffling OCD symptoms.

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Guest Brainstrain

Hi Beth

Don't worry I often get these kinds of things, and in the Imp of the Mind book he talks a lot about this type of thing. Just remember you have ultimate control over yourself and OCD can't make you do anything that you don't want to do so you just have to fight the urges!

Brainstrain

P.S I probably would have done the hand in the snow thing too!!!

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Guest Kitty

Beth,

Please don't worry - you're not alone in this at all. In fact, the thought you describe - the feeling of wanting to open the car door and then jump out while your Dad was driving, was the first tangible 'pure o' thought I remember I had when I was younger. I still get it now. When I first got it I remember tentatively reaching out and locking the passenger door and then sitting on my hands for the rest of the journey, because I was so scared I'd do it.

Hope this helps you a bit, you're not alone!

Love from K

xx

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Guest ScottOCDid

Hi Beth,

I think the important thing to bear in mind here is that you're describing two very different scenarios under the one "temptation" thread. (So now, I'll try to explain what I mean!!!)

The common theme with OCD is that "something bad is going to happen, and I have to do X, Y or Z to stop it". In this context, it's worth distinguishing between the Obsession and the Compulsion (Disorder speaks for itself: you're more anxious than you "should" be).

...as I was approaching a car, I thought about my handprint in the snow on the car, and I kept thinking about it and I had to do it even though I was scared the alarm would go off.

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In this case, you were acting out a Compulsion. You "needed" to put your handprint in the snow to reassure and calm yourself.

This is a world away from:

...when I was in the car I thought about what would happen if I opened the door even though my dad was driving. I even thought about what would happen if I jumped out, the temptation to do it got bigger and bigger.

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In the above situation, your fear that you might have opened the door was the Obsession, which made it the last thing in the world that you were going to do (exactly as Queenie recalls):

I remember tentatively reaching out and locking the passenger door and then sitting on my hands for the rest of the journey, because I was so scared I'd do it.

The feelings that you both describe centre around the obsessional fear of what would happen, and that the only thing stopping you would be your own (increasingly confused) self-control. But this is not a genuine temptation!

In the above examples, the Obsession gives the "what if I do?" anxiety - and the Compulsion gives the "what if I don't?" anxiety. My advice, having wasted much time and effort on my own OCD fears is to recognise the two as being completely opposite.

Please don't fret that because you touched the other car, you might open the door when your dad's car is in motion... you won't!!!

Hope all of that made sense?! :)

Take care,

Scott

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Hi Beth I used to have this sort of thing all the time! It varied from thinking I might swerve the car into oncoming traffic while driving, to shouting obscenities at my choir leader during a concert, to kicking someone. I didn't do any of these! However like Queenie I think I probably sat on my hands (not while driving though!) or some other preventative action sometimes. I don't think it's at all unusual with OCD.

All the best

Stephen

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It's funny how all the skeletons come out of the cupboard :)

This used to be one of my major fears. I'd be a passenger in the car and I would be overcome with the feeling that I was going to open the door and jump out. Sometimes the feeling was so real, I really thought that I would do it :)

Scott explains the scenario very well. I think what happens is, you are sat there with an unexplained anxiety, with barely conscious thought you think, well there's nothing to worry about. Your brain quickly scans the current situation and finding nothing to be afraid of, finds something.....ah but....what if you opened the car door...that must be it!! I agree it is terrifying.

I spend about 4 hours every weekend travelling on the motorway, so I am in an enforced exposure situation......I've never opened the car door and now it's something that doesn't worry me, the constant exposure has made me deal with it and desensitize it. You'll be fine Beth, it's just another OCD quirk. Funny to see how many people have had this, it's one I've purposely never mentioned before as I didn't want to trigger the fear in anyone else.

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Guest ScottOCDid

I should have added to my previous post the following analogies:

The hand-in-snow scenario (compulsion) is equivalent to the handwashing, checking or counting components of the other common forms of OCD.

The "will I open the car door?" threat (obsession) is parallel to the thoughts "I'm contaminated", "my house will burn down" or "a disaster will happen" in the context of the respective examples above.

Basically, you might well carry out the compulsion - but you ain't going to do what you fear as the obsession!

S

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