i have a question..

[Guest cerenbrackston]

Hi Friends..

I have been suffering ocd thoughts such as harming people,out of control..and sometimes it changes like why i am in this country..i am originally from Turkey..and married with English man and the thoughts come like do you really love him?or u need to go back to Turkey mumms place..and these are make me afraid..i try not to take notice of them..cause i love my hubby dearly..this is my 4th depression and i had major one while i was studying in university and i was away from the mums house as well.When the anxiety starts i just run away from everthing to go to mums place..

Now the situation is different and i have got a house here new life and i have a hubby..and i told him that i really dont want to go to Turkey to run away..I want to overcome here and be strong..

Things are totally different here..Nhs and i changed 2 medication and this medication is so so working..sometimes it holds my thoughts,sometimes they are everywhere and when i thought about my husband..why i am here or do i really love him..those are making me sick..and i try to focus something else...are those really ocd?i love him dearlly...he is my everthing..

[Guest Steviemfc]

Hi cerenbrackston

Sorry to hear that you are feeling quite low at the moment.

They definately sound like OCD thoughts to me. I also know that relationship substantiation thoughts seem to be quite a common symptom of intrusive thinking.

I have had various thoughts about my partner over the years like

'Do I love her?'

'Is she the one?'

'Why an I with her?' etc...

If I'm being honest they really wripped my emotions apart and I became very depressed due to it, but I have come through it and I am sure that you will too, just hang in there.

Take care

Stevie

[Adamski]

Hello Ceren,

There are a lot of good things mentioned in your e-mail. For example you are on medication which appears to be helping you a little. You also state that you do not want to go back to Turkey every time there are problems. You do want to be hear with your husband. This is good and this is a place to start to help you get back in control of the thoughts that you have. Like Stevie has said to you he has suffered from them, i have suffered from them and so have a lot of people on this board.

OCD is known as the doubting disease. When you get these thoughts in your head because you suffer from this condition you go over them time and time again. You try to say to them no i do not want to go back to Turkey, but by doing this you make the ocd worse, and the thought comes back again, again and again.

You know that you do not want to go back to Turkey. You know that you want to stay with your husband, who you clearly love very much. You know that you want to get better and control these thoughts. What you must start doing is recognising these thoughts as ocd thoughts that are not true. This is not going to be easy, but you have reasons to start challenging these thoughts, and you are amongst fellow sufferers who understand how difficult it is to do this and are prepared to help you.

Take care and come back for a chat any time you like!!

Adam

[Guest cerenbrackston]

thanks Steve and Adam..

I m so sensitive and in the tears at the moment..

I know i am gonna get through this but sometimes its so though..so helpless and so anxious....

I belive that everthing gonna be allright in the end..As You said I love my hubby and he support me till the end..And i want stand on my feet and get trough this..

[Adamski]

And if you continue to have such a good attitude there is no reason why this cannot happen Ceren. The road to recovery will be hard and there will be setbacks. But if you maintain this approach to things you are going to be fine, and you will be able to share your experiences with someone who is going through what you are now!!

Adam

[Caramoole]

Hi Ceren

Sorry you're having it tough, I think the others have said it all really, you clearly love your husband, you're working hard to get better, it just gets you down sometimes.

As for the rest, I think deep inside of all of us when we're feeling vunerable and afraid we think

"I want my Mum......I want to go home" :lol:

Doesn't matter what age you are Mums and home represent a place of safety with someone who won't let you down.

But you're doing okay Ceren, you'll get through this and we're all here to lend our support

[Guest cerenbrackston]

Dear Caramoole;

You are totally right..Mums place is safety ..thats how brains thinks also my medication is makes me so high up as well..or maybe not working..i spoke to my psychiatrist from nhs she said to me i am not dealing with the thoughts i am dealing with the medication part..your mental nurse should talk to you..and nobody talk to me afterwards..she give me an appoinment for wednesdays..she said if thats not working we will chance the medication..ohhh i am really having a though one.Concentration is so low..feeling sicky..I am also seeking private dr as well..she doesnt give me the trust..becuase she saying to me i would lower the dose its up 2 u..how can it be up to me???

I am gonna get trough this one way or theother..be strong,i will get there.