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Guest sam

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Hi all

I’m hoping someone has some advise for me.

I have a lot of problems (which I will go into at a later date) but basically one of the mothers from my daughters school has told a woman about them, and she laughed. My worst fears come true. Someone has laughed at me.

My problems (hopefully not depression or ocd) are life long they affect me, Alan the kids and all my family.

This woman I don’t even know her name, but since then my showing/scrubbing has gone through the roof ,my cleaning of the house not as bad as the showering but is higher than before this incident. I am very snappy towards loved ones (although I know I’m doing it I can’t help it and I am sorry for that) and I cry a lot, suicide feelings are very high ect ect the list is endless. My therapist has told me to confront her, tell her how she has made me feel then as her why she laughed. But I am angry with her and am not sure I can be adult about it, personally at the moment I want to floor her so to speak but in the next breath it is a childish way to think and I am not normally like that. But in 5 years the people that know the extent of my problems are cool about them. My worst fear was to have someone laugh at me and my embarrassing problems and to honest I didn’t think any one could be as callous and cruel but obviously they are. She has just made my feel dirty and heart broken I suppose as well as angry I just can’t shake off the fact she has laughed in my face about me. Alan has said to forget about it and that she’s not worth at but I can’t, I almost feel sick to the stomach but I don’t like to say to much because the way I see it is Alan has changed a lot in the last 5 years or so and I am really trying to change/get ride of all my as I feel my baggage. I feel that I was doing well and someone laughing has brought me right back to rock bottom. I do feel really guilty now. Any advise for how to pull myself together and get out of this rut would be much appreciated . PLEASE HELP.

:):):whistling::thumbup: :help:

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Guest Steviemfc

Hi Sam,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are down at the mo!

Firstly, the person who has laughed at you is obviously very ignorant to the fact that you have no control over your feelings/thoughts, so in my opinion they are probably not worth bothering about. However, that is easy for me to say as I am not in the situation that you are.

Just try and think of the people who do understand how you feel and concentrate on your happiness with them. Also try and understand that no matter what disability you have, there will always be people who are cruel and mocking, mianly because they are ignorant to the facts.

I know that this probably wont be much use to you Sam, but just know that people on these boards will be here for you, no matter what.

Hang in there.

Stevie

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Hi Sam,

Big welcome :D

Why is it people can pay us compliments all the time but when we hear something negative, i'ts that which sticks in our mind? I'm just the same.

This woman obviously feels very inadequate if laughing at you is her reaction. People like that can feel so insecure about themselves that humiliating you is her only way of making her feel superior. Her only way of feeling better about herself.

I'd feel pity for someone like that. God knows she doesn't deserve your pity but she sure as hell hasn't put one over on you. I think she's probably just revealed to other people what a shallow and limited person she is.

When I am really angry with someone I ask myself if I really want to give someone else control over my feelings. Other people can do/say what they like, but it's my choice how I feel. At the end of the day this woman is not worth tearing yourself to bits over. She has no control in your life so don't give her any.

If all else fails, and you don't feel you can confront her and tell her just what you think of her, try writing it down, get it off your chest. She never has to know.

Might help you get it out of your system though. Send it in a PM to yourself, add a few smilies. :lol: :bangin: :) Imagine what the look on her face would be. :) Then press delete and don't give her any more time in your life.

Thats what I would do anyway.

Take care Sam

Deb

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Guest Dragonfruit

Hi Sam

I really just wanted to agree with and reiterate everything Deb said.

This woman is clearly an ignorant waste of space and certainly not someone worthy of causing you any distress.

OCD takes enough time out of your life - don't let her take any more.

It's YOUR time and it's special and important - use it well. :)

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Guest ScottOCDid
Hi Sam 

I really just wanted to agree with and reiterate everything Deb said.

This woman is clearly an ignorant waste of space and certainly not someone worthy of causing you any distress.

OCD takes enough time out of your life - don't let her take any more. 

It's YOUR time and it's special and important - use it well.  :)

35253[/snapback]

Well said Deb & DF!!!!

Big :) to the board, Sam.

Scott :thumbup:

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Hi Sam :)

I'm so sorry you've had this experience, it's awful when you're feeling so vunerable. Debs has given you some very good advice there, not much to add.

All I would say is, Do you hold this woman in high regard? Do you have a great deal of respect for her opinions? Is she a kind and generous person?

I suspect the answer will probably be no. If so, why are you taking her comments and laughter on board? She's unimportant, her judgement of you is worthless, she is ill-educated and not worth wasting a second of time on.

Unfortunately OCD causes you to ruminate on situations like this, try not to, it doesn't deserve the attention.

I suppose that to someone who has no idea or inkling about OCD it might seem funny or daft, that's probably why she laughed. There possibly was nothing more to it than that, still not that much is known about OCD by non-sufferers or friends, to be kind to her, I suppose she just didn't know.

The good thing is you are among people here who DO KNOW, a bunch of the nicest, kindest, brightest people around and we will help and support you with your OCD so that one day in the future you won't let people like her stand in judgement because you simply won't care.

Try not to let it trouble you, it isn't worth it :)

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